Abusive husband

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Asak brother,

According to islam a women need to listen to her husband...does she need to listen to him even if he beats her up??

My husband beats me a lot...he never treats me in a good manner...he is always ignoring....He gets angry on me for silly things and then starts saying bad words and all of a sudden he gets so hyper that he starts beating me brutally.

whenever i have done a mistake i applogise but even if my mistake is not there he still gets angry on me...

Due to pain and suffer from his beatings and so as to prevent my self ....my hand is also getting raised on him....i knw its wrong but i m doing it cause at that time i m not able to take the pain and to prevent my self....

i have also asked him that if he is not happy he can leave me....seriously brother no women would like to say this....but due to his beating and due to pain i go through i say him these words...but he says he wont.....

i told him lot many times in a respectable way to not beat me up....but he is still not lsitening to me...

Due to his voilent behaviour and beating i m feeling quite unhealthy these days...

For having my childrens good future & and to give them their dads love....i never thought of seperation.

My family is also tensed and they feel seperation is the only solution...

please advice me what a women should do in such a condition.. 

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Answer:

Abusive husband

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Islam guides both the husband and the wife who are united in the sacred institution of marriage to fear Allah and love, honor, and cherish one another. Both the partners in marriage are guided to be considerate, merciful, and generous towards their spouse, and deliver the due rights of their partners in full benevolence.

If one of the partners in marriage abuses the other, usurps the rights of the other, or does not fulfill their obligations and rights in marriage, etc.; they will be held severely accountable in the Just and Supreme Court of Allah Subhanah on an Inevitable Day for each and every one of their evil deeds.

If the husband has been physically abusing the wife for the past so many years, and the wife has borne her hardship with patience only for the sake of preserving her children and her family; she will indeed have her reward for her immense patience in the Just Court of Allah Subhanah, and her abusive husband will have a very severe accounting on that Inevitable Day! Even though it may seem that the husband might get away with his evil deeds in the life of this world, Allah is our witness, if he does not desist and seek repentance for his evil deeds, he will have a severe accounting for his deeds in the Presence of the Lord All-Knowing All-Mighty on that Inevitable Day of Judgment!

Respected Sister, if after being sufficiently warned, your husband does not desist from his evil oppression and beatings, you have two lawful options in Islam:

1. Bear his unjust oppression with patience with the conviction that justice will be served and you will get your full and due retribution in the Presence of your Lord Most Just, Most Supreme on that Inevitable Day of Judgment; and thus save your marriage.
2. If you cannot bring yourself to bear the unjust oppression of your husband in the marriage, you are well within your rights to initiate a divorce proceedings against such an evil and impious husband….and if what you have related is indeed true, there would be absolutely no blame or sin upon you.

Sahih Muslim Hadith 6251 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘Do you know who is a ‘muflis’ (abjectly poor or one who is totally bankrupt)?’ They (the Companions (r.a.) of the Prophet (saws)) said: ‘A ‘muflis’ amongst us is one who has neither dirham with him nor wealth.’ He (the Prophet (saws)) said: ‘The ‘muflis’ of my Ummah would be he who would come on the Day of Resurrection with prayers and fasts and Zakah but (he would find himself bankrupt on that day as he would have exhausted his funds of virtues) since he hurled abuses upon others, brought calumny against others, unlawfully consumed the wealth of others, shed the blood of others, and beat others. His virtues would be credited to the account of one (who suffered at his hand). And if his good deeds fall short to clear the account (of his mis-deeds), then their sins would be entered in (his account) and he would be thrown in the Hell-Fire!’

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan