Custom of dowry.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Assalam mu allai kum,
JazakAllah for your reply. I have one more question.
In a marriage, when the boy's side do not want to take anything from the girl's family but even though if they give items like Fridge, Washing Machine, Microwave Oven, Bed, Almara, etc, can the boy's side accept it or request them not to give all these things.
Some people are of the opinion that if the girl's family gives it we can take it but we should not demand. But some people are of the opinion that even if the girl's family wants to give we should request them not to give anything.
What is the correct practice. Please guide.
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Custom of dowry
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34:
34 Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means.
The complete financial responsibility of the upkeep of the wife after marriage is laid upon the shoulders of the husband in Islam.
If by the term ‘dowry’ or ‘jahayz’ you mean to inquire about the pagan ritual whereby it is customary amongst the pagan cultures today where the family of the groom demands or it is considered a requirement for the guardians of the bride to provide financial assistance, or a house, or furniture, or a car, or even cash to the groom upon marriage; then such rites and rituals and requirements of dowry or ‘jahayz’ are absolutely discouraged and forbidden in Islam.
The majority of the scholars in Islam are of the opinion that it is highly disliked, deplorable, and absolutely discouraged in Islam that the husband, upon whom Islam has laid the complete financial responsibility of the wife in marriage, should ever ask or demand as a condition of marriage that he be financially or materially rewarded by the guardians of the bride.
In direct contrast to dowry, Islam guides and has made it an obligatory condition of ‘Nikaah’ that a man who wishes to marry should generously fulfill the condition of ‘mehr’ and according to his means pay the demanded amount as a free gift to his bride upon marriage; and shoulder the financial responsibility of his bride thereafter.
But if the parents or guardians of the bride, absolutely without any pressure or coercion (from the groom, the groom’s family, social, cultural, etc.), and of their own free will and pleasure wish to gift their daughter or the groom with anything, there is absolutely no harm in the couple accepting such gifts from them.
But if the groom, or the grooms’ family, or social or cultural pressures demand and/or make it a condition of marriage or even expect that the guardians of the bride are required to pay something in order for the marriage to take place….then such a demand would be absolutely unjustified and unwarranted in the Sight of Shariah.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,