Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalamu Alaikum,

Could you please explain in detail:

1) What is a Haq Mehr?

2)Why it is the purpose of Haq Mehr?

3) When and How much Haq Mehr is paid?

Jazal Allah

Wassalaam,

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Wisdom behind mehr

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 4:

4 And give the women (on marriage) their dower (mehr) as a free gift; but if they of their own good pleasure remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy it with right good cheer.

Islam has made the determination and presenting of the ‘mehr’ to the woman on marriage an absolutely obligatory condition of ‘Nikaah’ between a man and a woman. Islam has not specified the exact amount of ‘mehr’ to be presented, but rather any amount of ‘mehr’ which is mutually agreed between the two parties: either proposed by the groom and accepted by the bride or demanded by the bride and accepted by the groom, regardless of however big or small it may be, would suffice to fulfill the obligatory condition of ‘Nikaah’.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3206 Narrated by Amir ibn Rabi'ah

A woman of the Banu Fazarah was married for a dower of two sandals. When Allah's Messenger (saws) asked whether she was satisfied with two sandals regarding her person and her property and she replied that she was, he (saws) gave his approval.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verses 20-21:

20 But if ye decide to take one wife in place of another even if ye had given the latter a whole treasure for dower take not the least bit of it back: would ye take it by slander and a manifest wrong?

21 And how could ye take it when ye have gone in unto each other and they have taken from you a solemn covenant?

The ‘mehr’ in Islam could be as much as a treasure or even just a couple of paltry sandals depending on the financial status of the party proposing or demanding it.

Every Law and Command of the Creator is full to the brim with wisdom, and so is the command and condition of paying the Mehr to the bride. There are many reasons, wisdoms, and benefits of this condition of Mehr for the woman, and in the protection of her rights:

1. The man who proposes is sincere and is willing to show his sincerity by paying an agreed amount as a gift to his bride.
2. If there was no condition of Mehr, the man has a chance to play abuse and marry the woman one day and divorce her the next after he has satisfied himself with her. By instituting Mehr, the man who intends to play abuse faces a substantial financial loss upon himself.
3. The woman leaves her surroundings and her family to go and live with her husband, and thus sacrifices a lot. This gift of Mehr is a little something that may lessen her feeling of loss.
4. The Mehr is basically for the protection of the woman and her rights, so that she has a substantial amount (according to her status) to herself, in case of any emergencies.
5. Islam is the code of life, whereby all the financial responsibilities are laid on the man in marriage. The Mehr is but a ‘token’ installment and a commitment the man shows regarding his responsibility.
6. The institution of Islamic Mehr elevates and honors the position of women, which may be compared to the ‘dahej’ or dowry system of the pagans whereby the woman and her family have to pay the man to marry her! Etc.

Once the ‘mehr’ amount is mutually determined and agreed, it is better and purer for the man to pay his wife the amount immediately after their Nikaah. If the man, for a genuine reason, cannot afford to pay her immediately, and if his wife agrees, he may pay her at a later date or in installments.

The ‘Mehr’ amount shall remain and be considered a debt upon the man until he fulfills this debt in full, or his wife, of her own free will, chooses to forgive it or a part of it.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan