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We are going to umrah inshallah and I intend to perform the umrah for my deceased parents(my mother passed away about 6 months ago and I was unfortunate enough not to go and see her knowing that she was in the emergency room and remembering me for 15 days before her death).

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As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

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Assalamalaikum, please answer these questions for me. May allah bless you for all your good work, ameen. We are going to umrah inshallah and I intend to perform the umrah for my deceased parents(my mother passed away about 6 months ago and I was unfortunate enough not to go and see her knowing that she was in the emergency room and remembering me for 15 days before her death). I feel very guilty for I did not see her for 3 years before her death. My dad passed away when I was only 10 and my mother took care of us children with the support of my elder brother(who is like a father figure to me) in the light of islam. we live in the USA and my mother lived in India. I wanted to go when she was sick and heard about it that she was remembering me a lot but my husband told me that I have duties towards him and the house and can`t go. After my mother passed away my husband felt sad too and told me that he would take me to perform umrah for her. My questions are 1. when parents have so much rights and respect due to them, how come a daughter can`t go and attend her mother? 2. Are the duties towards parents more for the son than for the daughter? Are the duties towards one`s husband more than towards one`s parents (knowing that your husband is wrong) 3. my in-laws have performed hajj and are in very good health, and financially good too, my husband wanted to know if he can perform umrah on their behalf since we are going to umrah for my parents. Thank you very much and a soon reply will help me. thank you.

 

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Answer:

 

Perform umrah for mother

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Q-1: when parents have so much rights and respect due to them, how come a daughter can`t go and attend her mother

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:

Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone! Treat your parents with great kindness; if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say uff to them; nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, O our Lord, be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.


 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah Luqmaan verse 14:

14 And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command) "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) goal.

 

One cannot over-emphasize the respect and the rights that are due to ones parents in Islam, and a daughter is well within her rights in Islam to attend to her parents needs in their hour of need. But Islam has also prescribed rights to other close relatives like husbands, children, etc..and it is the responsibility of each individual to give each their due rights without effecting the rights of the other.

 

When a woman gets married, her house, her husband, and her children have due rights which too need to be fulfilled. If the husband wishes to temporarily sacrifice the rights due unto him, his house, and his children from his wife, and permits the wife to attend to her parents, there is absolutely no harm in the wife doing so.but if the wife were to leave her husband and her children and attend to her parents without the permission or consent of her husband, it is possible that her marital life would be severely effected.

 

Q-2: Are the duties towards parents more for the son than for the daughter?

Islam has laid the responsibility and made it the obligatory duty of the sons to provide for the complete upkeep of their aged parents; but in all other terms like respect, care, kindness, obedience, service, etc. towards ones parents there is absolutely no differentiation between the duties of the sons and the daughters.

 

Q-3: Are the duties towards one`s husband more than towards one`s parents (knowing that your husband is wrong)

Because the woman has been prescribed duties and responsibilities towards both, her parents and her husband.it is her responsibility to fulfill the rights of each without affecting the rights of the other.

 

The wife is well within her rights to, from her own means, support her parents or arrange for someone to provide for their needs, be in constant contact with them, visit them as often as possible, and strive her utmost to fulfill every one of their lawful wishes and needs.

 

But if a situation arises whereby the wife is required to physically spend a substantial amount of time with her aged parents, it would obviously compromise the rights that are due to her husband, her children, and her house. Thus to maintain the sanctity of each relationship and the family, Islam has guided the wife to seek the consent of her husband; and if her husband approves, the wife should indeed go and attend to her parents needs.

 

Q-4: my in-laws have performed hajj and are in very good health, and financially good too, my husband wanted to know if he can perform umrah on their behalf since we are going to umrah for my parents.

If The Lord Most Gracious has bestowed one with faith, abundance in wealth and health.it would obviously be best that that individual perform the pilgrimage to the Sacred House themselves.

 

There is also room in Shariah for an individual to perform the pilgrimage for their parents and/or loved ones, and if Allah Wills to accept their striving, He Will bestow the due rewards not only for those whom the pilgrimage was intended for, but also to the one who intends it.

 

We reiterate again that if one is bestowed with abundance in wealth and has the physical ability and health to perform the pilgrimage, it would obviously be best for that individual to visit the Sacred House and perform the pilgrimage themselves.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan


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