I wanted to know wether mehr should be given before the first night to the wife
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
dear brother i wanted to know wether mehr should be given before the first night to the wife or we can just declare that we will give a certain amount and keep quite.
i want to know this urgently because 1 of my friend who is married is suffering from cancer...she has a few days left,she wants to know this as her husband has not given her mehr on the first night...or until now...now that she is going to die...what has to be done about it and how.
please inform as soon as possible...because she has very few days to live.
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
Payment of Mehr
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 4: And give the women (on marriage) their dower (mehr) as a free gift; but if they of their own good pleasure remit any part of it to you take it and enjoy it with right good cheer.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 24: Also (prohibited are) women already married except those whom your right hands possess. Thus hath Allah ordained (prohibitions) against you: except for these all others are lawful provided ye seek (them in marriage) with gifts (mehr) from your property desiring chastity not lust. Seeing that ye derive benefit from them give them their dowers (at least) as prescribed; but if after a dower is prescribed ye agree mutually (to vary it) there is no blame on you and Allah is All-Knowing All-Wise.
Q-1: i wanted to know wether mehr should be given before the first night to the wife or we can just declare that we will give a certain amount and keep quite.
The determination of ‘Mehr’ is an obligatory condition of an Islamic marriage, and is a right that Allah Subhanah has commanded the believing man to gift to his wife at the time of marriage.
It would indeed be considered righteousness for the believer to pay the determined ‘mehr’ to his wife at the time of marriage; but if the wife agrees to accept the mehr at a later date, or in installments, etc., she is well within her rights in Islam to do so. She even has a right, if of her own free will, she chooses to forgive her husband the mehr (part or full) amount he owes her! The wife is the sole owner of the ‘mehr’ amount and she may do with that amount whatever she wishes.
If the husband determines to pay an amount as the ‘mehr’ at the time of marriage, and does not pay his wife nor gets it forgiven before her death, then it will remain as an unpaid debt upon him and he will have to repay that amount with his good deeds on the Day of Judgment!
Q-2: she wants to know this as her husband has not given her mehr on the first night...or until now...now that she is going to die...what has to be done about it and how.
If the believing husband has not paid his wife the ‘mehr’ determined at the time of marriage, it will remain an unpaid debt upon him until he pays her the amount, or the wife, without any force or coercion and of her own free will, chooses to forgive the debt (mehr) her husband owes her.
Under the circumstances related by you the wife has two options:
Either she demands her right and the husband fulfills the promise by paying her the determined ‘mehr’,
Or the wife, without any force or coercion whatsoever, chooses to forgive her husband the ‘mehr’ he owes her.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,