Abused when young?
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
I jus want to know what would be the right thing to do. When i woz younger i was sexually abused by my brother inlaw and i have never told anybody.I thought that was the best thing to do by everyone but when i get married is it the right thing to do to tell my husband to tell him the truth that i am not a virgin, or should i keep it to myself as this would probably be less harming for everyone. i would be very grateful on the views and any advice feedback that is possible via email on this thank you
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Abused when young
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Dear and Beloved Sister in Islam, if you do not wish to prosecute the evil person who abused you in a Shariah Court, or if it is not possible to prosecute this evil person because of lack of evidence or witnesses, etc.; rest assured that even if it seems that the guilty got away unpunished in the life of this world, he will have a severe accounting in the Presence of the Majestic and Supreme Lord on a Day when all accounts will be settled in full. On that Inevitable Day, the guilty will be punished according to his crime, and the oppressed will be compensated beyond compare.
Dear and Beloved Sister in Islam, exposing something of this nature which happened in the past to your husband might have a negative impact in your future married life; thus it would be best if you could leave your past in the past, and abstain from putting your future married life and yourself in a severe trial by telling your husband something of the past which can neither be reverted nor repaired. In our humble opinion, it would be best if you did not tell your husband or anyone else anything about what happened to you in your past; and keep your full trust in the Lord of the Worlds to announce His Supreme Justice on the one who abused you in your age of innocence.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,