Permission for second wife
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
I`ve married a divorced(khullah) girl, while I`m already married.I asked for permission form my 1st wife who refused to permit me for 2nd marriage. But I`ve performed nikah with 2nd. She`s alone no mother/Father as both died in her child hood.
Now my mother & 1st wife both are pressurising me to leave my 2nd wife or should divorce 1st. I`m worried because 2nd wife has spent her time mostly in Yateem Khana`s now If I divorce her she will have to be again there or work & live alone no relative is ready to keep her with them.In these circumstances what should I do? while my 1st wife is also not allowing me, I have 2 sons from 1st wife.
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Permission for second wife
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse3:
If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one.
Allah Subhanah has given the option and permission to the believing men, that if they wish to, they may marry and keep upto a maximum of four wives at any one time. There is absolutely no condition in the Shariah that the believing man who wishes to exercise this option and marry multiple times needs to take permission from his first wife. The only condition Allah Subhanah has laid upon the believers who wish to exercise this option is that they should deal with justice and equality amongst their wives with their wealth, their time, etc.; and if one fails to deal justly between them, the punishment in the Court of Allah Subhanah will be very severe indeed.
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2128 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
The Prophet (saws) said: When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of Resurrection with a side hanging down.
Your Question: In these circumstances what should I do? while my 1st wife is also not allowing me, I have 2 sons from 1st wife.
In our humble opinion, if you have already married for a second time, it would not be fair, neither would it be considered righteousness if you divorced your second wife just because your first wife does not approve of it!
It would be best if you would show extreme patience in these trying circumstances, and be as tender, and kind, and merciful, and understanding, and loving to your first wife as you were when she was your only wife. In due time, when her anger and jealousy is appeased and she realizes that there is absolutely no change in your behavior towards her even after you have married again, she will accept the situation as it is, and her resistance to your second marriage will disappear, Insha Allah.
But to divorce the second wife, just because the first wife does not approve of her, would not be considered righteousness on the part of the believer who has decided to exercise the permission and the option granted to him by the One Who is All Knowing, All Wise.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,