Girl asks Divorce and the Prophet (saws) agreed
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
I have often seen your replies about marriages in which parents are not happy.You always reply that if parents are not happy then one must sacrifice his/her love. I just heard of this Ahadith and from this it looks to me that its not always the case. Parents can also sometimes makes wrong decisions.
Please refer to: http://www.uh.edu/campus/msa/
Volume 9, Book 85, Number 78:
Narrated Khansa' bint Khidam Al-Ansariya:
That her father gave her in marriage when she was a matron and she disliked that marriage. So she came and (complained) to the Prophets and he declared that marriage invalid. (See Hadith No. 69, Vol. 7)
Please let me know what do you think after reading this Ahadith.
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
The hadith above is indeed authentic; but the point that we try to make is a little different from the situation narrated in the above quoted hadith. The situation in the above hadith is that the girl was married against her will, and thus the marriage was annulled and declared invalid by the Messenger of Allah (saws).
All the evidence and replies we have presented is for one, who intends to marry someone without the approval of their parents; where the guidance given by Allah and His Messenger(saws) is primarrily to obey ones parents.
Islam has given a balanced guidance on the issue of choosing a partner for ones marriage; and have advised in general terms to always seek the consent and approval of the parents.
If one marries without the consent and approval of their parents, the marriage will still be considered legal in Islam. But if the parents marry the girl without her consent, that kind of a marriage will be considered null and void in the sight of Shariah.
Thus, when choosing a bride or a groom, the believers are advised to seek the advice and approval of their parents, even though the final decision of whom they should marry is actually in their hands.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4928 Narrated by Abud Darda
When a man came to
him and said, "I have a wife whom my mother commands me to divorce,"
he replied to him that he had heard Allah's Messenger (peace be
upon him) say, "A parent is the best of the gates of
There is a huge internal conflict between the generations in todays ungodly world! Some children give scant respect to their parents, and choose to marry their chosen partner with or without their parents consent or approval. And some parents forcefully arrange the marriage of their children, without seeking the approval of their children! Islam has guided the believers to a medium and balanced way, and advised the children to respect and obey their parents and consult them when choosing a partner for marriage; and advised the parents to seek the approval of their children before arranging their marriage.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,