Father gambles and wastes money
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Dear Mr. Burhan,
Assalamu Alaikkum W.W.
I am the only bread winner of my family and supporting my parents, Grandmother, my younger brother and of course my wife and children.
My father is a person who gambles and spent excessive amount of money for nothing. He has no control over his expense and due to that reason I had to pay off his debt around Five Hundred Thousand Rupees. When I settled his debt, I had counseled him in a better manner and told him not to gamble and lead a better life.
Now I got to know that he has again taken a loan of Three Hundred Thousand Rupee from the bank and when I asked him for what reason he has taken the money he remains silent. I also asked him where did he spend the money but no reply.
I do not know what to do and feel like running away from home, as I am sick and tired of settling his debts and fear that this will end up in disaster. My mother is mentally disturbed the way how my father acts.
I am aware that it is the responsibility of the children to settle the debts of their parents but there should be a limit for it. Is there anything that I can do to change the way he lives? If not, what do I suppose to do in the light of Sunnah and Quran?
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Father gambles and wastes money
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Indeed it is the prescribed duty of the child to love, honor, serve and be humble to his parents in Islam.
But if one fears that his father gambles with the money, or abuses it in any of the things which are declared Haraam by Allah and His Messenger (saws); the child is not duty bound to fund or facilitate these evil habits with his hard-earned money.
The child must strive to pay for the upkeep of his parents in an equitable way; but if he refuses to service, fund or facilitate his fathers evil habits of the haraam, there will be absolutely no sin on him.
But you must still honor and respect your father as ordained by Allah Subhanah in all other aspects of his life. If polite counseling does not work, there is absolutely no sin on the son if he talks to the bank or the people who loan the money to his father than in future he will not be responsible or repay the debts his father might take for his evil habit of gambling, etc.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,