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Marriage and social status

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

 Assalam u alaykum
 

I wish to marry a man who is 25. We have known each other for 7 years and have recently shared the desire to marry one another. I have spoken to my parents and they are happy to allow me to marry him but his parents are not agreeing. They say that we are of different social status and that our familys are different so we should not get married. I would like some advice as to how he can overcome this?

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Answer:

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Sister the man in Islam does not necessarily need his parents permission to marry. The law for taking the approval of the parents is only for the bride. Therefore if your parents have agreed the man may if he wishes marry you. But, if he can convince his parents and get their approval, then their blessings will be received and as a couple you will need their good will and support. It is not advisable to get into a union wherein there is a conflict in the man's family because of his choice of bride, unless the man is self sufficient and capable of supporting his family by himself.

 
Sister the parents of the boy are within their rights to seek the best woman for their son in terms of social status etc.. However, the boy does not need the express permission of his parents to marry, though it would be piety to take their blessings. He should try and convince his parents that his choice is sound and he should be allowed to choose his life partner. The social status does not matter much if the hearts of the couple are not joined in love and respect. There is no solution to this except that the boy humbly convinces his parents and bully them to approve. The wise thing for the boy to do is honor his parents wishes and marry a woman that he and his parents agree on. It is more righteous to obey ones parents and receive their blessings than to break their hearts for a woman.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Members of Islamhelpline


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