Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

This is the first time I am sending a question and it is after having read your email re: 'wali'

I think that you should offer a more detailed explanation, with many women converting to Islam and marrying without thier parents permission how do they fair in this statement.

Although we should gain our parents acceptance in some cases where someone I know has reverted was unable to, is there marriage void...????

When parents do not approve and are bound by their honour!!! and an agreement they made when the child was 5, if the individual breaks this agreement and marries without their parent consent is their marriage void..!!!!

If you do not marry someone your parents have chosen because you feel that person has bad attributes and know of these should you fulfill this marriage because your parents want you too...!!  I could continue... please provide me with an explanation and whether or not these marriages are void, thank you and slaam

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Parents consent wali for marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: ….I think that you should offer a more detailed explanation, with many women converting to Islam and marrying without thier parents permission how do they fair in this statement.

Dear and beloved brother in Islam, most of the laws of Shariah have an allowance and exceptions in certain specified circumstances…for example:

• ….when in the state of impurity one is required to perform ‘ghusl’ or ‘wudu’ with water to enable them to offer their prayers; but if one is ill and the touching of water would further deteriorate their health, or one absolutely cannot find any water, there is allowance in Shariah that one purify oneself with pure earth and make themselves available for prayer.
• …..the consumption of the flesh of swine, or meat of dead animals, or flesh of unlawful animals is absolutely forbidden as food unto the believers in Shariah Law; but if one fears that one would die of hunger and finds no food except from what has been declared as unlawful, there is allowance in Shariah for such a person to consume that ‘unlawful’ food only to save his life.
• ….the normal number of rakahs for the obligatory prayers are assigned by Shariah; but if one is traveling, there is allowance that some prayers may be shortened or even combined.

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2078 Narrated by Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: ‘The marriage of a woman who marries without the consent of her guardians is void.’ (The Prophet (saws) said these words) three times.

Similarly brother, as much as it is declared in Shariah that a marriage performed without the consent of the ‘wali’ or guardian of the bride is void, there are obviously also lawful exceptions to this guidance of Shariah……and frankly brother, it would be almost impossible for us to list all the exceptions every time a question regarding the Laws of Jurisprudence are enquired.

What we normally would do regarding a Law or Guidance is list the general Law as it would apply in normal circumstances, and if the situation enquired upon is within the parameters of exceptions, we would list those exceptions to the Law.

Q-1: Although we should gain our parents acceptance in some cases where someone I know has reverted was unable to, is there marriage void...????

The scholars and jurists in Islam are absolutely unanimous in their opinion that a revert sister is not required to gain or attain the consent of her disbelieving parents/guardians for her marriage to be considered lawful in Shariah; she may appoint any trustworthy believer as her ‘wali’ or guardian who would give away her hand in marriage.

Q-2: When parents do not approve and are bound by their honour!!! and an agreement they made when the child was 5, if the individual breaks this agreement and marries without their parent consent is their marriage void..!!!!

The agreement of one’s parents to marry their child to someone when the child was only five years old would be a form of an engagement; and the process of ‘engagements’ anyways does not hold any legal weight or basis in Shariah Law!

But just in case and for arguments sake, if the girl was only five years old, and her own parents actually had the ‘nikaah’ of their five-year old daughter performed, and all the obligatory conditions of an Islamic ‘Nikaah’ (proposal and acceptance, determination of the ‘mehr’, presence of at-least two witnesses to the marriage contract, the consent of the guardians of the bride) were honored….such a marriage would indeed be considered lawful in the Sight of Shariah. When the girl reaches the age of understanding, she obviously has the right to accept the marriage or separate through the process of divorce.

Sunan of Abu-Dawood 2091 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Abbas

A virgin came to the Prophet(saws) and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet (saws) allowed her to exercise her choice.

Your Question: …..If you do not marry someone your parents have chosen because you feel that person has bad attributes and know of these should you fulfill this marriage because your parents want you too...!! 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.67 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet said, "A matron (a lady who is previously married and divorced or widowed) should not be given in marriage except after her consent; and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission." The companions asked, "O Allah's Messenger (saws), how can we know her (the virgin’s) permission (because of her shyness or bashfulness)?" He (saws) said, "Her silence (indicates her permission)."

As much as Islam has guided the believing woman to consult and seek the consent of her parents to her marriage, the absolutely final authority in regards to her marriage is the bride herself. A marriage in Islam cannot be performed unless and until the bride gives her express permission; and if for any reason the bride verbally declines to accept the proposal at the time of ‘nikkah’, the ‘nikaah’ cannot be performed; and even if it is performed it will be considered absolutely null and void in the Sight of Shariah Law….for the consent of the bride is an absolutely obligatory condition of an Islamic marriage.

Thus if the parents have chosen or proposed a groom whom the girl, for any reason whatsoever does not like, she is well within her rights in Islam to decline to accept the proposal! But that does not in any way mean that the believing woman is allowed to go and give herself in marriage to whomever she wills and pleases…..

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3137 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "A woman may not give a woman in marriage, nor may she give herself in marriage, for (only) the immoral woman is one who gives herself in marriage."

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan