Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

assalamualaikum, brother burhan,

may allah give you reward for the services you r doing 4 muslim umma.

my question is " i gave the mehr to my wife on the marriage day itself, she did not say anything while sighning nikah namah, but she always asks me y u pay me so little mehr in marriage? i always feel ambarrsed by her question. can i now increase the amount or should i give her very expensive gift to appease her. please reply as soon as possible.
ur brother in islam

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Answer:

Small Mehr

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: my question is " i gave the mehr to my wife on the marriage day itself, she did not say anything while sighning nikah namah, but she always asks me y u pay me so little mehr in marriage?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 4:

4 And give the women (on marriage) their dower (mehr) as a free gift; but if they of their own good pleasure remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy it with right good cheer.

Islam has made the determination and presenting of the ‘mehr’ to the woman on marriage an absolutely obligatory condition of ‘Nikaah’ between a man and a woman. Islam has not specified the exact amount of ‘mehr’ to be presented, but rather any amount of ‘mehr’ which is mutually agreed between the two parties, either proposed by the groom and accepted by the bride or demanded by the bride and accepted by the groom, regardless of however big or small it may be, would suffice to fulfill the obligatory condition of ‘Nikaah’.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3206 Narrated by Amir ibn Rabi'ah

A woman of the Banu Fazarah was married for a dower of two sandals. When Allah's Messenger (saws) asked whether she was satisfied with two sandals regarding her person and her property and she replied that she was, he (saws) gave his approval.

The ‘mehr’ in Islam could be as much as a treasure or even just a couple of paltry sandals depending on the financial status of the party proposing or demanding it. If your wife agreed to the amount of ‘mehr’ you proposed at the time of your marriage to her, then that amount would suffice to fulfill the obligatory condition of ‘mehr’.

Your Question: i always feel ambarrsed by her question. can i now increase the amount or should i give her very expensive gift to appease her.

Beloved brother in Islam, the woman is now your wife united with you in the sacred bond of marriage; thus you can spend on her or gift her as much as you will and please! If you believe that giving her a huge amount or an expensive gift will appease her appetite and relieve your guilt at giving her a small amount of mehr at the time of your marriage, you are well within your right to do so. She is now your lawfully wedded wife and there is absolutely no limits in Islam on how much you may spend on your wife, or how many gifts you may present to her.

Sahih Muslim Hadith 2181 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘Of the wealth you spend as a contribution in Allah's Cause, or to set free a slave, or as a Sadaqah given to a needy, or to support your family; the one yielding the greatest reward (in the Sight of Allah) is that which you spend on your family.’

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 278 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behaviour; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives.’

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3252 Narrated by Aisha ; Abdullah ibn Abbas

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family.”

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan