Bad-tempered wife

Dear Brothers & Sisters,
As-Salaamu-Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
I have a wife who is very temperamental. She often gets angry with me, the children and many of our family members.
I have spoken to her on many occasions and she admits & then apologises thereafter. Is there something, from the Quraan or Hadith, that I may read for her to be relaxed/calm and as far as possible for this not to happen to her. Other than this, she is a wondeful wife & mother.
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Praise be to Allaah.

You will find a detailed answer to this question in the book “Problems and Solutions”, which you can read on this website under the heading “"shaykh Wa Hulool",

’s books”, and in the answer to Question #658. The fact that your wife apologizes indicates that she recognizes and regrets her mistakes, which is the first step towards solving the problem. Remind her of her position in the household and that she is an example to the children, and warn her that her children may copy her bad behaviour and it may become part of their personalities, thus perpetuating the problem. Try to contain her by your patience. Your acknowledgement that she is a good wife and mother reminds me of the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “No believing man should hate a believing woman; if he hates one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.” (Reported by Muslim, 2672). Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his commentary on this hadeeth: “I.e., he should not hate her, because although he may find in her one characteristic which he dislikes, he will find something that pleases him. Although she may be ill-tempered, she may also be religious or beautiful or chaste or kind towards him or something like that.” We ask Allaah to guide your wife and make her character good. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah's Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

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