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One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalamualaikum,

Working in UAE I would like to clarify on Talaq.

As there were some problems between me and my wife due to angerness I told my mother in law on phone thrice that i give talaq to your daughter when i told these words i was alone at my home and my wife did not hear the same, But later i sent a message to my wifes phone stating thrice that i give talaq to her which she read. Please advise as per shariah talaq is valid.

If this talaq is valid please advise me about the iddat procedure. My wife is a working women in India and 5 years old son going to school.

Advise as per shariah for how many months and how much i have to pay.

Please advise ASAP.

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Answer:

Given three divorces on phone

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

As there were some problems between me and my wife due to angerness I told my mother in law on phone thrice that i give talaq to your daughter when i told these words i was alone at my home and my wife did not hear the same, But later i sent a message to my wifes phone stating thrice that i give talaq to her which she read. Please advise as per shariah talaq is valid.

If you have pronounced the talaq 3 times, there is no need for any witnesses etc.. You have, however, not only pronounced it your mother in law but smsed your wife your intention to give 3 talaqs at one and the same time.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verses 229-230:

229    A (revocable) divorce is only permissible twice: after that the parties should either hold together on equitable terms or separate with kindness.  It is not lawful for you (men) to take back any of your gifts (from your wives) except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah.  If ye (judges) do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah there is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom. These are the limits ordained by Allah; so do not transgress them.  If any do transgress the limits ordained by Allah such persons wrong (themselves as well as others).

230    So if a husband divorces his wife (irrevocably for the third time) he cannot after that remarry her until after she has married another husband and he has divorced her.  In that case there is no blame on either of them if they reunite provided they feel that they can keep the limits ordained by Allah.  Such are the limits ordained by Allah which He makes plain to those who understand.

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2189  Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘There are three things which, whether undertaken seriously or in jest, are treated as serious: Marriage, divorce and taking back a wife (after a divorce which is not final).’

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3292        Narrated by Mahmud ibn Labid

When Allah's Messenger (saws) was informed about a man who had divorced his wife, declaring it three times without any interval between them, he (saws) arose in anger and said, "Is a mockery being made of the Book of Allah Who is Great and Glorious, while I am amongst you?"  As a result a companion got up and asked, "O Messenger of Allah (saws) shall I kill him?"

The absolute majority of the scholars are of the opinion that if one pronounces three divorces to one’s wife at one time, they will count as three and an absolutely irrevocable divorce will be established in the marriage.  That was the ruling of even the noble companions of the Messenger of Allah (saws) of the stature of Hadrat Abdullah ibn Abbas (r.a.) and of Hadrat Abu Hurayrah (r.a.), etc.

Al-Muwatta Hadith 29.37

Yahya related from Malik from Ibn Shihab from Muhammad ibn Abd ar-Rahman ibn Thawban that Muhammad ibn Iyas ibn al-Bukayr said, "A man divorced his wife three times before he had consummated the marriage, and then it seemed good to him to marry her. Therefore, he wanted an opinion, and I went with him to ask Abdullah ibn Abbas and Abu Hurayra on his behalf about it, and they said, 'We do not think that he should marry her until she has married another husband.'

Al-Muwatta Hadith 29.1

Yahya related from Malik that he had heard that a man said to Abdullah ibn Abbas (r.a.), "I have divorced my wife by saying I divorce you a hundred times. What do you think my situation is?" Ibn Abbas (r.a.) said to him, "She was divorced from you by three pronouncements, and by the (other) ninety-seven, you have mocked the Aayat of Allah."

According to the laws of the Shariah you have used all your 3 talaq permissions. That means you have pronounced an irrevocable divorce to your wife. Now you cannot make any rujju and divorce is final. You cannot remarry her until she marries someone else and he willfully divorces her or dies.

If this talaq is valid please advise me about the iddat procedure. My wife is a working women in India and 5 years old son going to school.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 228:

228 Divorced women shall wait concerning themselves for three monthly periods; nor is it lawful for them to hide what Allah hath created in their wombs if they have faith in Allah and the Last Day.

The iddah period is about 3 months during which time you are required to bear all the expenses of your wife and child according to the way she has been used to whilst living with you.

After the iddah period is over, you are no longer required to bear the expenses of your wife, but you will have to bear all the expenses of your child, which includes his food, clothing, medical expenses, tuition etc., till he attains adulthood (18 years age).

Advise as per shariah for how many months and how much i have to pay.

Here’s what a husband is commanded to do after he pronounces divorce to his wife:

Fear Allah

Count accurately the prescribed period of the ‘iddah’ of divorce

Absolutely cannot force or coerce the wife in anyway to leave the house during the period of divorce.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 65 Surah Talaq verse 1:

1        O Prophet!  When ye do divorce women divorce them at their prescribed periods and count (accurately) their prescribed periods: and fear Allah your Lord: and turn them not out of their houses nor shall they (themselves) leave except in case they are guilty of some open lewdness.  Those are limits set by Allah: and any who transgresses the limits of Allah does verily wrong his (own) soul: thou knowest not if perchance Allah will bring about thereafter some new situation.

Absolutely cannot treat the wife with harshness, abuse, cruelty, spitefulness, slander, mud-slinging, blame-mongering, or any injustice whatsoever. But rather live out the waiting period on a footing of kindness, patience, and justice.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verses 19-21:

19      O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will.  Nor should ye treat them with harshness that ye may take away part of the dower ye have given them except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity.  If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.

And finally, absolutely cannot demand or take back anything from the ‘mehr’ he gave her or any other gift which he presented to her during their time of marriage.

20      But if ye decide to take one wife in place of another even if ye had given the latter a whole treasure for dower take not the least bit of it back: would ye take it by slander and a manifest wrong?

21      And how could ye take it when ye have gone in unto each other and they have taken from you a solemn covenant?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 229: A divorce is only permissible twice: after that the parties should either hold together on equitable terms or separate with kindness.  It is not lawful for you (men) to take back any of your gifts (from your wives) except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah.  If ye (judges) do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah there is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom. These are the limits ordained by Allah; so do not transgress them.  If any do transgress the limits ordained by Allah such persons wrong (themselves as well as others).

The iddah preferably should be done at her father’s house but there is no harm if she wishes to do in your house.

You are responsible for all the expenses for your wife and child till her iddah period. After her iddah period you are solely responsible for all the expenses of only your child eg: food, clothing, schooling, tuition, transport etc., till he attains adulthood (18 years).

There is no restriction if an amicable agreement is made between you and your ex-wife to allow you visitation rights. Once a week for a couple of hours, or more or less is acceptable. But all the while ensure that all decisions concerning the upkeep of the child is done in an honorable and amicable manner.

Shariah Law states that all children (male or female) will remain in the custody of the mother until they reach the age of understanding and puberty.

Once the children reach the age of understanding, the father has a right to move the Shariah Court if he wishes to gain custody of the children.  The Shariah Court Judge will then ask the children who have attained the age of puberty whom they wish to live with: their mother or their father; and whatever decision is made by the children will be enforced by the Shariah Judge. 

The decision of who gains the custody of the children in a divorce neither rests with the mother, nor the father, nor the Shariah Court Judge; but Allah Subhanah has placed this right of decision in the hands of the children as soon as they reach the age of understanding and puberty.  The Shariah Court Judge will only enforce the decision of the children, and give the parent who lost the custody fair visitation rights.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is only ones. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

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