Husband leaves wife for 9 months
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Asalamulaycom
I done nikah to my husband 3 years ago we have one daughter also. But last year
in january he left me for 9months.I didn’t hear from him or understand where he
went he just ran away with a letter saying sorry. After 6months of waiting for
my husband i gave up believing he would ever come back so i done allot of
regretful things i wish i never done. I done out of hurt and anger. I met
somebody else and i had herum relations with them. I wanted to do nikah with
him but no imam would allow me to do without the presence of my parents. I said
to myself after 6months my husband leaving me Talaaq 3times and said i divorce
you. My QUESTION hear is ..was my talaaq valid even though my husband has no
understanding i was doing it?And if not then is my nikah with my husband still
valid even though he left me for 9months with no contact atall? And the fact i
had herum relations with somebody else does that break our nikah? I found out
in the end he left me because he had another wife but he came back to me and
his daughter after realising it was a huge mistake and divorced her to be with
me? Where do we stand as husband and wife after all this?
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Answer:
Husband leaves wife
for 9 months
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His
help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide,
and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear
witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear
witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His
Messengers.
Your
Question: …I said to myself after 6months my husband leaving me Talaaq 3times
and said i divorce you.My QUESTION hear is ..was my talaaq valid even though my
husband has no understanding i was doing it?
Allah Subhanah has placed the ties of the marriage in the
hands of the husband, and it is the husband who has been given the authority to
establish a divorce in the marriage by a mere verbal declaration; not the wife!
Thus your mere and unilateral declaration of three (or a
hundred, or thousand!) divorces to your husband hold absolutely no legal weight
nor any validity whatsoever in the Sight of Shariah Law and in the Sight of
Allah Subhanah! Your declarations have absolutely no effect on the status or
validity of your marriage in the least.
Your
Question: ….And if not then is my nikah with my husband still valid even though
he left me for 9months with no contact atall?
If one’s husband leaves his wife without any notice for a
prolonged period of time, and the wife has absolutely no knowledge regarding
the whereabouts of her husband….the wife is well within her rights in Islam to
approach a Shariah Court Judge and appeal to the Judge to give her her
freedom. The Shariah Court Judge will
study the case, and he is well within his rights to give the wife the freedom
she desires from her marriage with the ‘lost’ husband.
Regardless of whether your husband chose to leave you for
9 months or 9 years, if you did not approach the
Your
Question: ….And the fact i had herum relations with somebody else does that
break our nikah?
As grave and as heinous the sin of forming an illicit
sexual relationship out of marriage (for both the husband and the wife) is in
the Sight of Shariah Law and in the Sight of Allah Subhanah, rest assured that
the unlawful relationship by itself does not effect the legality or the
validity of the ‘nikaah’ in the least.
Your
Question: ….where do we stand as husband and wife after all this?
If your husband has not declared a ‘divorce’ to you, and
you have not approached a Shariah Court Judge for a ‘khula’ (divorce initiated
by the wife)…..regardless of whatever transpired, rest absolutely assured that
you remain his legally wedded wife, and he remains your legally wedded husband
in the Sight of Shariah Law.
Respected sister, what you can and must do is turn back to
your Lord in ‘taubah’ and seek sincere forgiveness for transgressing His
Prescribed Boundaries; and if your husband does indeed fear Allah and the Last
Day, he too should turn unto Allah Subhanah and seek forgiveness for the
injustice he has done to you and your daughter.
If you are indeed sincere in seeking repentance, it is expected that you
will find your Lord Forgiving and Merciful.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah
Zumur verses 53-54:
(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged
their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely,
Allah forgives all sins. He
indeed is the All Forgiving, All
Merciful. Return to your Lord and
submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you;
for then you may get no help from anywhere.”
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah
Anaam verse 54:
When those come to you who believe in Our
Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule
of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil
in ignorance, and thereafter repented
and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is
Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me
alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is
the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
Wister