Husband not intimate with wife
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Alsalam
Allikum
I am a
married woman in my 30s with little kids. My husband is a good man & a
perfect father. For years now he has no desire in any intimacy. I think he is
used to masturbation. When I complain about it he tells me that it is
inappropriate of me to bring up this subject. I thought of divorce, but I dont
want to destroy my kids` lives. I did masturbation for some time, but read that
it might be haram...!!! I dont know what to do???
(There may be some grammatical and spelling
errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions,
comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in
confidentiality.)
Answer:
Husband not intimate
with wife
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His
help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and
whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness
that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that
Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
If after your very best efforts and for no genuine and
valid reason, your husband refuses to fulfill your right of intimacy in the
marriage, you have two lawful options:
- Bear
his injustice with patience, hoping for your reward and recompense in the
Court of Allah Subhanah on the Day of Judgment…and thus save your
marriage.
- But
if you cannot bring yourself to bear this injustice done to you by your
husband, and especially if you fear that the refusal of your husband to
conjugate with you might lead you to transgress the Prescribed Boundaries
of your Lord….you are well within your rights to initiate a divorce
proceedings against your husband; and if you sought divorce only for this
reason, there would be absolutely no sin or blame upon you in the least.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me
alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is
the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan