Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

I have been having a great obsession for women for the past 4months. Ive had premarital sex with many women many times. This is causing many problems to my personal life. I am losing a lot of my hard earned money and most importantly, I am sinning at a great degree. I want to change but every time I repent, it just takes another day to start that ugly habit of mine again. I come from a devout family but I myself am going astray and need help fast before problems escalate. What do you suggest I do to combat this evil doing? Hope you can reply to my email.

Salam 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Obsessed with illegal sex

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 7 Surah Aaraaf verse 33:

33 Say (O Prophet (saws)): ‘The things that my Lord hath indeed (absolutely) forbidden (declared ‘haraam’) are: shameful deeds whether open or secret; sins and trespasses against truth or reason; assigning of partners to Allah for which he hath given no authority; and saying things about Allah of which ye have no knowledge.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 32:

Do not even go near ‘zina’ (fornication or adultery) for it is a very indecent thing and a very evil way!

There are only a handful of sins in Islam which ignite the Anger and the Wrath of the Lord more than the heinous abomination of the crime of illegal sexual intercourse or ‘zina’!!! Such is the abhorrence of this abomination of ‘zina’ in the Sight of the Lord Most High that He has Commanded the believers who sincerely fear Him and the Last Day to ‘not even go near’ it!!!!

Your Question: ….What do you suggest I do to combat this evil doing?

Respected brother in Islam, first and foremost, what you can and should do in the process of straightening out your life….is to turn back to your Lord Most Gracious in ‘taubah’ and sincere repentance for your past sins.

Whatever deeds one might have done in one’s past, if one turns to Allah Subhanah in sincere ‘Taubah’ and seeks forgiveness, Allah Subhanah has promised in the Holy Quran that He will forgive all the sins of such a repentant believer, even if one has committed the gravest sin of all: ‘Shirk’! Not only that, our Lord is so Merciful and Generous, that He not only will forgive the sins of such sincerely repentant believers, He will change their evil deeds done into good deeds!

The conditions or ways to seek sincere Taubah or Repentance from the Merciful Lord are:

·                     One is aware that one has sinned, and feels sorry and ashamed at their sin.

·                     Makes a solemn covenant and promise with Allah that one will not repeat their sin again.

·                     Turns to Allah and seeks forgiveness, before one has met with his appointment of death.

·                     Is a believer and does righteous good deeds thereafter.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:

(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.”

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:

Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verses 63-71:

The (true) servants of the Merciful are those who walk humbly on the earth. When the ignorant people behave insolently towards them, they say, “Peace to you”; (And those) who pass their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before their Lord and pray, “O our Lord, save us from the torment of Hell, for its torment is killing! It is an evil abode, and an evil resting place”. (And those) who, when they spend are neither extravagant, nor miserly, but keep the golden mean between the two extremes. (And those) who do not invoke any god but Allah Alone, nor kill a soul unjustly, which Allah has forbidden, nor commit adultery… He who does this shall be punished for his sin, and his torment shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection, and he shall abide in a state of ignominy; EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS), AND HAVE BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS DEEDS. For then, Allah will change his evil deeds into good deeds, and He is very Forgiving and Merciful. In fact, one who repents and does righteous deeds, returns to Allah as one rightly should!

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:

When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2357 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "He who repents of a sin is like him who has committed no sin."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2338 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Allah accepts a servant's repentance (taubah) till he gives up his spirit in death."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2339 Narrated by Abu Sa'id

Allah's Messenger (saws) said that the Shaytaan said, "By Thy Might, my Lord, I shall continue to lead Thy servants astray as long as their spirits are in their bodies!" The Lord, Who is Great and Glorious, replied, "By My Might, Glory and Exalted Station, I shall continue to pardon them as long as they ask My forgiveness!"

As grave as the sin of ‘zina’ (illegal sexual intercourse) is in the Sight of the Lord and in Shariah Law, one should never never ever despair of the vastness of the Mercy of their Lord Most Merciful….for He and He Alone can and does forgive all the sins of the one who turns back to Him in ‘taubah’ and seeks sincere repentance for their past deeds, and does righteous good deeds thereafter.

The urge to fulfill one’s natural physical desire of sex is amongst the greatest trial during one’s period of youth and Islam has made the fulfillment of this natural desire lawful only through the sacred institution of marriage.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.4 Narrated by Abdullah

We were with the Prophet (saws) while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty, and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power."

Islam guides and encourages the believers to marry so that they may lawfully fulfill their natural physical desire and abstain from the unlawful; and if for any reason one is unable to marry the Messenger of Allah (saws) prescribed the remedy of observing voluntary fasts, as fasts help in diminishing one’s sexual power.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.481 Narrated by Sahl bin Sad

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Whoever can guarantee (the chastity of) what is between his two jaw-bones and what is between his two legs (i.e. his tongue and his private parts), I guarantee Paradise for him."

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 79 Surah Naziat verses 34-41:

34 Therefore when there comes the Great Overwhelming (The Day of Judgment)

35 The Day when man shall remember (all) that he strove for

36 And Hell-Fire shall be placed in full view for (all) to see

37 Then for such as had transgressed all bounds

38 And had preferred the life of this world

39 The Abode will be Hell-Fire;

40 And for such as had entertained the fear of standing before their Lord's (Tribunal) and had restrained (their) soul from lower desires

41 Their abode will be the Garden.

As huge as this trial of youth is, one should also remember that the reward for passing this great trial successfully is nothing short of Paradise!

Thus brother, if you are in a position to marry then seek the lawful institution of marriage and fulfill your natural physical desire; and if for any reason you are unable to marry at this time, then fear that inevitable standing of each individual at the Lord’s Tribunal, and strive to observe fasts as it will help diminish your sexual urge. But whatever happens and whatever it takes, do not even come near the evil doors of ‘zina’ …..for that then would be a manifest loss in this world and the Hereafter.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 32:

Do not even go near ‘zina’ (illegal sexual intercourse) for it is a very indecent thing and a very evil way!

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan