My question is i have had sexual intercourse only vaginal and recieved oral sex from 8 different girls.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Assalamo
alaikum
My
question is i have had sexual intercourse only vaginal and recieved oral sex
from 8 different girls. I am 23 i am going to get married soon i wanted to know
how i could repent and ask allahs forgiveness also i watch a lot of pornography
and masturbate nearly each day and i have not been told what you do after you
have sex and how to have sex the islamc way. Because i read on some forum that
the woman has to be covered so i wanted to know if my wife has to be covered
and if i can see her completely nude or if i can kiss her breasts and finger her
vagina when looking at it. Basically i know i have sinned but there is no one
to realy guide me as i converted about 7 years ago but there is no mosque near
me or anyone that i can ask. Also by a friend i was told that i have to shave
my genital region and my anus but i dont know and it seems scary if its true
and also how would i do it without preventing of cutting my testes or my penis.
Also ive been told that i shouldnt speak to a muslim type called ahmaddis but i
dont know the answer because i know there is someone where i work that is
ahmaadii so i wanted to know the reason and if we are allowed.
jazakamullah
(There may be some grammatical and spelling
errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in
confidentiality.)
Answer:
Repentance
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask
for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever
He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that
there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that
Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Your Question: ….i
wanted to know how i could repent and ask allahs forgiveness
Whatever deeds one might have done in one’s past, if one
turns to Allah Subhanah in sincere Taubah and seeks forgiveness, Allah Subhanah
has promised in the Holy Quran that He will forgive all the sins of such a
believer, even if one has committed the gravest sin of all: ‘Shirk’! Not only that, our Lord is so Merciful and
Generous, that He not only will forgive the sins of the believer, He will change his evil deeds done into good
deeds!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah
Zumur verses 53-54:
(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged
their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All
Merciful. Return to your Lord and
submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help
from anywhere.”
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale
Imraan verse 135-136:
Allah likes such good people very much,
who, if ever they commit a base deed or
wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their
shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can
forgive sins? (And Allah loves those)
who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from
Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein
forever! How excellent is the reward of
those who do good deeds!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah
Furqaan verses 63-71:
The (true) servants of the Merciful are those
who walk humbly on the earth. When the
ignorant people behave insolently towards them, they say, “Peace to you”; (And
those) who pass their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before their
Lord and pray, “O our Lord, save us from the torment of Hell, for its torment
is killing! It is an evil abode, and an
evil resting place”. (And those) who, when
they spend are neither extravagant, nor miserly, but keep the golden mean
between the two extremes. (And those)
who do not invoke any god but Allah Alone, nor kill a soul unjustly, which
Allah has forbidden, nor commit adultery… He who does this shall be punished
for his sin, and his torment shall be
doubled on the Day of Resurrection, and
he shall abide in a state of ignominy;
EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS), AND HAVE BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS
DEEDS. For then, Allah will change his
evil deeds into good deeds, and He is very Forgiving and Merciful. In fact, one who repents and does righteous
deeds, returns to Allah as one rightly should!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah
Anaam verse 54:
When those come to you who believe in Our Signs,
say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord
had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy.
Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and
amended (his conduct), Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2357 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "He who
repents of a sin is like him who has committed no sin."
The conditions or ways to seek sincere Taubah or
Repentance from the Merciful Lord are:
- One
is aware that he has sinned, and feels sorry and ashamed at his sin.
- Makes
a solemn covenant and promise with Allah that he will not repeat his sin
again.
- Turns
to Allah and seeks forgiveness, before he has met with his appointment of
death.
- Is
a believer and does righteous good deeds thereafter.
Your Question:
…..also i watch a lot of pornography and masturbate nearly each day
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 23 Surah
Muminoon verses 1-11:
1 The Believers must (eventually) win through
2 Those who humble themselves in their prayers;
3 Who avoid vain talk;
4 Who are active in deeds of charity;
5 Who scrupulously guard their modesty (private parts),
6 Except with those joined to them in the
marriage bond,
or (the captives) whom their right hands possess; for (in their case) they are free from blame.
7 But those whose desires exceed those limits, are transgressors!
8 Those who faithfully observe their trust and their covenants;
9 And who (strictly) guard their prayers
10 Those will be the heirs
11 Who will inherit
The scholars of all schools of thought are unanimous in
their opinion that the evil act of ‘masturbation’ would, without an iota of a
doubt, fall under the category of ‘those whose
desires exceed the limits’; and thus
this act is absolutely forbidden to all those who sincerely believe in Allah
and the Last Day.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.4 Narrated by Abdullah
We were with the Prophet (saws) while we were
young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "O
young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him
lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing
illegal sexual intercourse, etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should
fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power."
Thus if one is unable to control his sexual desire, he should get married, rather than get involved in committing sins
like masturbation and ‘zina’
(fornication or adultery). And if one
is unable to marry, he should fast, as the Messenger of Allah (saws) says, that
fasting reduces the person’s sexual desire,
and thus help the believer to stay away from committing sin.
‘Fahesha’ or indecency is one of
the strongest weapons of the accursed enemy of man, the Shaitaan; who has sworn
to mislead and misguide mankind from the Straight Path of Allah Subhanah.
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 268:
The Shaitaan threatens you with poverty and
prompts you to adopt indecency (or acts of shamelessness). Allah promises you His Forgiveness and
Bounties, and Allah cares for all, and He knows all things.
The only thing that can stop one from acts of indecency,
or intentionally disobeying any command of Allah and His Messenger (saws); is the constant fear and consciousness that
on One Inevitable Day, everyone will be brought forth in the Presence of the
All-Mighty Lord to give a full accounting of one’s deeds.
The first thing one needs to do, when he realizes that he has disobeyed any
command of Allah and His Messenger (saws),
is to immediately turn to the Merciful Lord and seek His Forgiveness and
Pardon, and make a solemn covenant that he
will not repeat the mistake again. When
Shaitaan again tries to prompt the person to disobey the Merciful, the
believers must immediately realize the play of Shaitaan, seek refuge in Allah
from the accursed Shaitaan, remember the covenant he has made with His Lord,
and abstain from doing any deed that will bring about the Wrath and Anger of
Allah Subhanah.
Allah Says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 7 Surah Aaraaf verses 200-201:
200 If a suggestion from Shaitaan assail thy (mind), seek refuge with
Allah; for He Heareth and Knoweth (all things).
201 Those who fear Allah, when a thought of evil from Shaitaan assaults
them, bring Allah to remembrance; when lo! they see (aright)!
As soon as one feels the desire, or the avowed enemy of man, the Shaitaan suggests the person to transgress any of the boundaries of Allah Subhanah; the believers should immediately seek the refuge and protection of the All-Mighty Lord from the accursed Shaitaan by saying: “Aoodobillahe minas Shaitaan ar rajeem”. If the person is sincere in seeking refuge and protection, Allah Subhanah will protect him from the assaults of Shaitaan.
Some other things the believers
may do at such a stage is do the ‘wudu’, offer prayers, or recite the 113th
and 114th Surahs of the Quran (Surah Falaq and Surah Naas) and seek
protection from the accursed Shaitaan.
The long-term remedy for keeping
the Shaitaan at bay, is to constantly remember Allah Subhanah, seek and stay in
the company of the righteous, recite the Quran, read good Islamic Books, listen
to good Islamic cassettes and lectures, and strive to stay away from being in
solitude.
If one is constantly in the face
of non-mehram women, or if one regularly watches commercial television and
movies, or regularly reads commercial
magazines, etc. where ill-clad women are constantly portrayed; there is a greater chance the person will be
swayed by the suggestions of Shaitaan towards ‘fahisah’ and indecency. If one strives to abstain from these devices
of Shaitaan, and makes efforts to remain
close to the Remembrance and Guidance of Allah Subhanah, he will be successful
in muting the ploys of the Shaitaan.
Allah Says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 7 Surah Aaraaf verse 27:
O ye children of
Adam! Let not Shaitaan seduce you in the
same manner as he got your parents (Adam and Hawwa) out of the Garden,
stripping them of their raiment to expose their shame: for he and his tribe
watch you from a position where ye cannot see them: We made the ‘Shayateen’
friends (only) to those without faith.
Your Question: …..i
have not been told what you do after you have sex and how to have sex the
islamc way.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah
Baqarah verse 223:
223 Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so
approach your tilth when or how ye will.
Abu Dhar al-Ghafari reported: ‘The Messenger
of Allah (saws) said: “there is a reward for you [even] in sex with your
wife."’ The companions asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah (saws) is there a
reward if one satisfies his passion?" He (saws) said: "Do you know
that if he satisfies it unlawfully he has taken a sin upon himself? Likewise, if he satisfies it lawfully, he is
rewarded."
Related by Ahmad and Muslim.
Islam has allowed the husband and the wife in marriage
every possible liberty to enjoy conjugal relations with each other, except
three:
- It
is strictly prohibited to have sexual intercourse with one’s wife during
her period of menstruation.
- It
is strictly prohibited to enter the woman through her anus.
- Although
there is no specific prohibition mentioned in the Quran and Sunnah, the
majority of the scholars in Islam have voiced their opinion against ‘oral’
sex, whereby one touches the other’s private organs with their mouth.
Other than the above three restrictions, one may enjoy
conjugal relations with one’s wife any place, any time, and any how their
heart’s desire.
Your Question:
Because i read on some forum that the woman has to be covered so i wanted to
know if my wife has to be covered and if i can see her completely nude or if i
can kiss her breasts and finger her vagina when looking at it.
There is absolutely no ‘satr’ or ‘hijaab’ between a
husband and a wife bonded in the sacred institution of marriage in Islam; and
it is absolutely permissible for a husband and a wife to see, touch, fondle,
play, and enjoy intimacy with each other any which way they please and desire,
without any restrictions (except the three listed above) whatsoever.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.272 Narrated by Hisham bin Urwa
(on the authority of his father) that Aisha
said, "I and Allah's Messenger (saws) used to take a bath from a single
water container, from which we took water simultaneously."
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.261 Narrated by Aisha
The Prophet (saws) and I used to take a bath
from a single pot of water and our hands used to go in the pot after each other
in turn.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.298 Narrated by Aisha
The Prophet (saws) and I used to take a bath
from a single pot while we were Junub. During the menses, he used to order me
to put on an Izar (dress worn below the waist) and he (saws) used to fondle me.
We reiterate again that except for (1) anal sex, (2)
actual sexual intercourse during the women’s menstruation, and (3) ‘oral’
sex….there is absolutely no restriction whatsoever between the husband and the
wife enjoying intimacy with each other in Islam. Provided the above listed three restrictions
are not violated, the married couple may enjoy their intimacy any which way
their hearts desire.
Your Question: Also
by a friend i was told that i have to shave my genital region
Sahih Al-Bukhari
Hadith 7.779 Narrated by Abu
Huraira
I heard the Prophet
(saws) saying. "Five practices are characteristics of the Fitra (nature): removing
the pubic hair, clipping the nails, depilating the hair of the armpits;
and circumcision and cutting the moustaches short (for the males)
Both the believing men and the believing women are obliged
to remove their unwanted hair from their pubic region and from under their
armpits at least once in a period of forty days. One may use any means or method to remove the
unwanted hair as they will or is convenient for them, including clipping,
cutting, shaving, waxing, hair removal cream, etc.
Your Question: Also
ive been told that i shouldnt speak to a muslim type called ahmaddis but i dont
know the answer because i know there is someone where i work that is ahmaadii
so i wanted to know the reason and if we are allowed.
The absolute major differences in belief of the Ahmadis or
Qaadiyaanis, and the belief which takes them out of the fold of Islam are:
- They
believe in the advent of a Prophet after the death of the Last and Final
Messenger of Allah, Mohamed ar-Rasool Allah (saws). They hold the belief that their leader
and founder of their faith, Ghulam Ahmad Qaadiyani was appointed a
Prophet, the concept of which is absolutely against the clear guidance of
the Quran and the Sunnah.
- They
believe that their prophet supposedly received revelations from Allah,
after Allah Subhanah revealed His Last and Final Revelation of the Glorious
Quran on His Last and final Messenger, Mohamed ar-Rasool Allah
(saws)!
There are umpteen other beliefs and practices they do and
propagate in the core tenets of their deen, but it is their above two
blasphemous beliefs that take them out of the fold of the deen of Truth,
Al-Islam.
They also hold the belief that Prophet Isa (a.s.) will not
appear at the end of time; that the promised Imam Mahdi has already appeared;
they have their own variation of Shariah Law which is quite different and
distinct from the Shariah Law endorsed by the Quran and the Sunnah, etc.
Although the Muslim Ummah is unanimous that the
blasphemous beliefs of the people who call themselves ‘Ahmadis’ take them out
of the fold of Islam; there is absolutely no restriction in Shariah in talking,
meeting, or interacting with the disbelievers, if one wishes to do so.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 60 Surah
Mumtahina verses 8-9:
8 Allah forbids you not with regard to those
(disbelievers) who fight you not for (your) Faith, nor drive you out of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with
them: for Allah loveth those who are
just.
9 Allah only forbids you with regard to those
(disbelievers) who fight you for (your) Faith,
and drive you out of your homes and support (others) in driving you
out, from turning to them (for
friendship and protection). It is such
as turn to them (in these circumstances) that do wrong.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to
Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only
Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
Wister