Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

salaam,

which surah of the says that mourning after 3 days is not permissible? we as Muslims must not mourn as it hurts the dead. is that right?

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Answer:

Mourning and wailing

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: which surah of the says that mourning after 3 days is not permissible?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 234:

234 If any of you die and leave widows behind, they shall wait (iddah) concerning themselves four months and ten days: when they have fulfilled their term there is no blame on you if they dispose of themselves in a just and reasonable manner. And Allah is well acquainted with what ye do.

Beloved brother in Islam, the prohibition against mourning the deceased for a period of more than three days (except for a widow) is not in the Quran, but rather found in the authentic and established Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (saws).

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 2.371 Narrated by Zainab bint Abi Salama

I went to Um Habiba, the wife of Prophet (saws), who said, "I heard the Prophet (saws) saying, 'It is not lawful for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for any dead person for more than three days, except for her husband, (for whom she should mourn) for four months and ten days'."

Your Question: …we as Muslims must not mourn as it hurts the dead. is that right?

Abu Musa (r.a.) reports that Hadrat Umar al-Khattab (r.a.) told Suhaib who was wailing: "O Suhaib! Don't you know that the Messenger of Allah (saws) said: 'A dead person is tormented by the wailing of the living people'."

Related by Bukhari and Muslim.

Al-Mughirah ibn Sh'ubah reports that he heard the Prophet (saws) saying: "The one who is wailed for is tormened on account of it."

Related by Bukhari and Muslim.

Ibn Jarir reported from Abu Hurairah that he said: "Your deeds are shown to your dead relatives. So if these are good, they are pleased, and if these are bad, they despise them."

Ahmad and Tirmidhi reported on the authority of Anas that the Prophet (saws) said: "Your deeds are shown to your dead relatives and kinsfolk. So if these are good they are pleased, and if these are bad they say: 'O Allah! Let them not die until You have guided them to the right path as You guided us before'."

Dear and beloved brother in Islam, the above quoted guidance does not in any way mean that the deceased are tortured or punished in their graves for the wailing or unlawful deeds of their living loved ones, because the principle guidance of the Glorious Quran declares that no bearer of burden shall bear the burden of another, and that each person is only accountable for his own deeds in the Court of Allah Subhanah.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 164:

164 …. Every soul draws the meed of its acts on none but itself: no bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another. Your goal in the end is toward Allah: He will tell you the Truth of the things wherein ye disputed.

Thus brother, the hadiths merely imply that when the deceased are shown the wailing and unlawful deeds of their loved ones by Allah Subhanah, they are displeased and feel pain at the unlawful actions and transgressions of their surviving loved ones.

Your Question (again): …we as Muslims must not mourn as it hurts the dead. is that right?

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 2.390 Narrated by Anas bin Malik

We went with Allah's Apostle (p.b.u.h) to the blacksmith Abu Saif, and he was the husband of the wet-nurse of Ibrahim (the son of the Prophet). Allah's Apostle took Ibrahim and kissed him and smelled him and later we entered Abu Saif's house and at that time Ibrahim was in his last breaths, and the eyes of Allah's Apostle (p.b.u.h) started shedding tears. 'Abdur Rahman bin 'Auf said, "O Allah's Apostle, even you are weeping!" He said, "O Ibn 'Auf, this is mercy." Then he wept more and said, "The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord, O Ibrahim! Indeed we are grieved by your separation."

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 2.391 Narrated by Abdullah bin Umar

Sad bin 'Ubada became sick and the Prophet along with 'Abdur Rahman bin 'Auf, Sad bin Abi Waqqas and 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud visited him to inquire about his health. When he came to him, he found him surrounded by his household and he asked, "Has he died?" They said, "No, O Allah's Apostle." The Prophet wept and when the people saw the weeping of Allah's Apostle (p.b.u.h) they all wept. He said, "Will you listen? Allah does not punish for shedding tears, nor for the grief of the heart but he punishes or bestows His Mercy because of this." He pointed to his tongue and added, "The deceased is punished for the wailing of his relatives over him."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2829 Narrated by Hadrat Ali ibn AbuTalib (r.a.)

Hadrat Ali (r.a.) heard Allah's Messenger (saws) invoke the curse of Allah upon those who took usury, those who paid it, those who recorded it, and those who refused to give sadaqah. And he (saws) used to prohibit wailing.

Sahih Muslim Hadith 2033 Narrated by Abu Malik al-Ash'ari

Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘Among my people there are four characteristics belonging to pre-Islamic period of ignorance which they do not abandon: 1. boasting of high rank, 2. reviling other peoples' genealogies, 3. seeking rain by stars, and 4. wailing. And the Prophet (saws) (further) said: If the wailing woman does not repent before she dies, she will be made to stand on the Day of Resurrection wearing a garment of pitch and a chemise of mange.

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 3122 Narrated by Abu Sa'id al-Khudri

The Messenger of Allah (saws) invoked the curse of Allah upon the wailing woman and the woman who listens to her.

Umm 'Atiyyah reports: "The Messenger of Allah (saws) made us pledge that we will not wail over (the dead)"

Related by Bukhari and Muslim.

Al-Bazzar has transmitted, that the Prophet (saws) said: "Two sounds are accursed in this world and in the hereafter: the sound of wind instruments (to celebrate) good fortune, and of moaning aloud when afflicted with a misfortune."

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said in an authentic narration “He is not a believer, who beats his face, or tears his clothes, or wails, when afflicted by a misfortune.”

It is neither the crying nor the mourning which is prohibited in Islam, but what is absolutely prohibited for the believers who sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day is the wailing, or the lamentation, or the moaning aloud, or the beating of oneself, or the tearing of one’s clothes when afflicted with a misfortune or death of a loved one.

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan