Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Brother Burhan

AOA

This website was suggested to me by a friend I have gained immense information from it. You are doing a great service through it. May God grant you its ajar. I too have two questions in my mind that have been bothering me and their nature is such that I cannot put them forth to a family member.

Q.1: I am a 35 year old woman with three kids under the age of five years. After the birth of my third child I decided to use family planning to give myself time and space and recover from having three kids in five years of my marriage. Brother Burhan you can well understand that having kids is very easy but to raise them properly, educate them, nurture them is not so easy. My husband wants more kids but I feel physically weak to have more kids at present. My husband offers no help when it comes to looking after kids. I do not expect him to change their diapers but he even avoids spending quality time with them. He is alwasy busy with office, sports etc. He also offers no support towards me. I tried to talk to him that I do not feel ready to have more children at present perhaps when I have recovered I can bear more but he refuses to listen. It was for my health that I undertook the decision to use a contraceptive method about which my husband is not aware of. I am double minded if whatver I am doing is allowed in religion or am I committing a sin?

Q:2: As a side effect of the family planning injections that I have opted for, thesedays I have developed spottings. Its not menstrual blood but it more or less seems like a blood vein and at times its just a drop. I have checked in your website that the Holy Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) has said that if its not menstrual blood then a woman should cover her private part with a napkin, perform ablution (wazoo) and say her prayers normally. Can I be categorised in the same category? And can I read the Quran then too? I also recite Durood Sahrif during the day a lot of times, can I do that too?

Brother Burhan I request you answer these questions and clear the doubt in my mind that by fasting I am doing the right thing or not?

Thank you.

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Answer:

Family planning spacing child

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

May Allah Subhanah reward you with the best of this world and the Hereafter for your kind comments of encouragement for our humble efforts in the propagation of the Truth. If our humble and modest efforts have helped even one brother or sister get closer to Allah and His Deen of Truth, then we would consider ourselves indeed fortunate to have been given this opportunity by the Lord Most Merciful to serve in His Cause. We hope, beg, and pray the Merciful Lord accepts our humble and weak efforts, forgives us our shortcomings, and saves you, us, and all the believers from the torment of the Hell Fire. Ameen.

Your Question: I am double minded if whatver I am doing is allowed in religion or am I committing a sin?

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 140:

Most surely they became losers, who, in their folly and ignorance killed their own children; and made unlawful what Allah had provided them as sustenance, falsely ascribing prohibitions to Allah. Surely, they went astray and were not at all rightly guided.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 151 (part):

You should not kill your children for fear of poverty; for We provide sustenance for you and will provide sustenance for them also.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 31:

Do not kill your children for fear of want; for it is We Who provide for them, and for you as well. Indeed, their killing is a heinous crime!

If the intention behind ones reasoning to limit or stop having more off-spring is their fear or concern of how they will be able to provide for them, then the stopping of having further off-spring would be absolutely against the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws), and a grave sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

If one fears for the health of the mother, or if one wishes that the mother would be better able to feed and nurture their child if there was a reasonable gap or space between the births of their children, etc., the majority of the scholars in Islam are of the opinion that under such circumstances there is allowance in Shariah and no harm if the parents wish to space their children.

But to limit the number of children permanently or stop the having of children because one fears for their sustenance would, without an iota of a doubt, be absolutely against the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws).

Your Question: It was for my health that I undertook the decision to use a contraceptive method about which my husband is not aware of.

The one thing that binds a couple in the sacred institution of marriage like none other is ‘trust’….and if one amongst the couple is dishonest and breaks the ‘trust’ of their spouse by taking a unilateral decision to stop (even temporarily) the having of children without the precise approval and consent of their partner….they would be guilty of breaching and compromising the ‘trust’ held in the sacred institution of marriage in Islam. Such an act would indeed be a sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

Beloved Sister, it would be best and closest to piety and righteousness in the Sight of Allah if you could tell and seek the consent of your husband the exact reasons why you wish to space your children. Not only would breaching the ‘trust’ of your husband in such an important and delicate matter be a sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah, but if ever your husband were to find out that his ‘trust’ was breached, it might have severe repercussions in your marital life and relationship with your husband.

Your Question: As a side effect of the family planning injections that I have opted for, thesedays I have developed spottings. Its not menstrual blood but it more or less seems like a blood vein and at times its just a drop. I have checked in your website that the Holy Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) has said that if its not menstrual blood then a woman should cover her private part with a napkin, perform ablution (wazoo) and say her prayers normally. Can I be categorised in the same category?

Fiqh-us-Sunnah Fiqh 1.72

Topic: Women with Prolonged Flows of Blood

Shariah defines such an occurrence as the flowing of blood outside of the regular time. This usually happens in two specific cases. In the first case, the woman knows that her flow of menstrual blood is lasting longer than usual. In such a case, she will act according to her customary period, and the remainder will be considered days of prolonged blood flows. This is based on the hadith of Umm Salamah, in which she asked the Messenger of Allah (saws) about this condition. He (saws) said, "She should wait for the days and nights of her normal period and figure them out of the month, and she should leave the prayer during those days. (Afterwards) she should perform ghusl, tighten something around her vagina and then pray." (Related by Bukhari and Muslim)

Al-Khattabi holds, "That regulation is for the woman who is experiencing prolonged blood flows. If the blood is flowing, the Prophet (saws) ordered her to leave the prayer during her regular period, and to perform ghusl after her customary time has passed. Then, she becomes just like any other purified person."

In the second case, a woman has a regular period, but she is able to distinguish the blood. She should, therefore, behave according to the type of blood she sees. Fatimah bint Abu Hubaish had a prolonged flow of blood, and the Prophet (saws) told her, "If it is menstrual blood, it is dark and recognizable. If you have that, abstain from the prayer. If it is other than that, make ablution and pray, for it is a vein."

If a believing woman is experiencing ‘spotting’ or prolonged blood flow after her customary days of menstruation have elapsed, she should perform the ‘ghusl’ or full bath of purification, tighten a pad or cloth around her private parts, and make herself available for prayer. After her ‘ghusl’, she will be considered pure from her ceremonial impurity of menstruation, and all the restrictions which lay upon her due to her menstruation would now be deemed lifted.

Your Question: ….Can I be categorised in the same category?

Respected Sister, from what you have related, it indeed seems that the spotting that you experience is not from menstruation….thus when you experience such ‘spotting’, you would need to simply wash your private parts, tighten something around it, make ablution and perform your prayers as normal.

Your Question: And can I read the Quran then too? I also recite Durood Sahrif during the day a lot of times, can I do that too?

As long as the discharge is not from menstruation, it would be absolutely permissible for one to perform all their rites of worship which a believing woman is allowed to perform when she is pure from her menstruations. One may offer their prayers, observe their fasts, perform the ‘tawaaf’ of the Sacred House, recite the Glorious Quran, recite the ‘durood’, etc.

Beloved Sister, we wish to clarify that even when in the state of menstruation, the believing woman is discouraged only from ‘touching’ the Glorious Quran….but the absolute majority of the scholars and jurists in Islam hold it absolutely permissible for a menstruating woman to recite the Glorious Quran from memory, or recite the ‘durood’, or make supplications, or remember and praise and glorify her Lord Most High as much and often as she wills and pleases.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan