Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalamu Aleikum !

I need to know if parents are not willing to follow the religion as they don’t believe the religion due to problems they faced in the past but the children are very much following and practising.  Also the parents do not like children practising the religion and they always behave in an anger way due to this. In such situation how to handle parents. Even if you try to explain they are not willing to listen.

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Answer:

Parents not following islam

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.116 Narrated by Abdullah bin Umar

The Prophet (saws) said, "Everyone of you is a guardian and everyone of you is responsible (for those under their wards). A ruler is a guardian and is responsible (for his subjects); a man is a guardian of his family and responsible (for them); a wife is a guardian of her husband's house and she is responsible (for it), a slave is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible (for that). Beware! All of you are guardians and are responsible (for those under your wards)."

Beloved Sister in Islam, Allah Subhanah has made each individual a guardian of someone or something, and it is the guardians who will be held responsible for those under their care. The children are not considered a parent’s guardian in Islam, therefore if one finds oneself in a situation where they wish to practice belief and their parents oppose their practice, it is the parents alone who will be held responsible for their deeds in the Court of Allah Subhanah.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:

Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone! Treat your parents with great kindness; if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them; nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, “O our Lord, be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”

Such is the rank and status the Lord Most High has accorded to parents in Islam that only after the rights due to Allah Subhanah and His Messenger (saws), the biggest rights in all mankind are due to one’s parents. Thus it is absolutely obligatory upon the believers who sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day to be devoutly obedient to each and every lawful wish and command of their parents….the only, and we reiterate only, time a believer is permitted to disobey the command or wish of their parents is if they ask their off-spring to do anything which is clearly against the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws).

Al-Tirmidhi HadithHadith 3696 Narrated by An-Nawwas ibn Sam'an

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "A creature is not to be obeyed when it involves disobedience to the Creator."

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah Luqmaan verses 14-15:

14 And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (Hear the command:) "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) goal.

15 But if they strive to make them join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not (in that command of theirs); yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration) and follow the way of those who turn to Me: in the end the return of you all is to Me, and I will tell you the Truth of all that ye did."

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 29 Surah Ankabut verses 8-9:

8 We have enjoined on man kindness to parents: but if they (either of them) strive (to force) thee to join with Me (in worship) anything of which thou hast no knowledge obey them not (in that command of theirs). Ye have (all) to return to Me and I will tell you (the Truth) of all that ye did.

9 And those who believe and work righteous deeds, them shall We admit to the company of the Righteous.

Thus beloved sister, if one finds themselves in a situation where their own parents oppose their belief (and/or practice) in the Truth, or their parents command or ask them to do something which is against the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws), the believing children should not obey them in that command of theirs. But in every other matter of life, the believers are commanded to devoutly obey their parents, even if their parents are disbelievers.

Under absolutely no circumstances, should a believer rebuke, or revile, or abuse, or be rude towards their parents…but rather, one is commanded in Islam to be kind, tender, loving, and display immense patience when dealing with them at all times….even if one’s parents are disbelievers.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan