Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

It is our fault that we didnot insist our kids from 7-10 years of age to offer prayer but we practiced it... now one of the three children (20years old)is not offering prayers daily  and he is fond of tv computer games etc ..,i pray for him ,remind him but he is not changed , shall i remain quiet, or preach him continuously.. ?

Meher Fatima

Karachi

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Child does not pray

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

The five obligatory prayers are absolutely obligatory upon every sane, adult believer. Aishah related that the Messenger of Allah (saws) said, "The pen is raised for three (meaning: there is no obligation upon three): one who is sleeping until he wakens, the child until he becomes an adult, and one who is insane until he becomes sane."

Related by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, at-Tirmidhi, an-Nasa'i, Ibn Majah, and al-Hakim.

Amr ibn Shu'aib reported that the Prophet (saws) said, "Order your children to pray when they reach the age of seven, and enforce (even beat them) if they don't pray when they reach the age of ten. And have them sleep separately."

Related by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, and al-Hakim.

Your Question: now one of the three children (20years old)is not offering prayers daily  and he is fond of tv computer games etc ..,i pray for him ,remind him but he is not changed , shall i remain quiet, or preach him continuously.. ?

Respected sister in Islam, if you as a parent, did not encourage nor enforce your child to pray when he was a child, then indeed you have failed in fulfilling one of the duties which has been enjoined by Allah and His Messenger (saws) towards the believing parents.

Now since your son is in the prime of his youth and manhood at 20 years of age and does not offer even his obligatory prayers, he alone will be responsible for his deeds in the Court of his Lord Most High. If you indeed love your son, and fear for him his Day of Accounting in the Presence of The Majestic Lord, then you should do whatever it takes (except force) to instill the fear of his Lord Creator in him.

Because your son is already 20 years of age, it would not be prudent to force him; but other than that, if you indeed fear for his state when he will meet his Lord, then as a loving mother and parent, you should strive to do whatever it takes to instill the fear of the Lord Most High in him.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 103:

Indeed the Salaat is a prescribed duty that should be performed by the believers at (their) appointed times.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verses 45-46:

45 Nay seek (Allah's) help with patient perseverance and ‘salaah’: it is indeed hard except to those who bring a lowly spirit.

46 Who bear in mind the certainty that they are to meet their Lord and that they are to return to Him.

The Prophet (saws) said, "The head of the matter is Islam, its pillar is the prayer, and the top of its hump is Jihad in the Way of Allah."

Jabir reports that the Prophet (saws) said, "Between a person and disbelief is discarding prayer."

Related by Ahmad, Muslim, Abu Dawud, at-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah.

Abdullah ibn 'Amr ibn al-'Aas reported that the Prophet (saws) one day mentioned the prayer and said, "Whoever guards and observes his prayer, they (his prayers) will be a light and a proof and a savior for him on the Day of Resurrection. Whoever does not guard and obvserve them, they will not be a light or a proof or a savior for him. On the Day of Resurrection, he will be with Qarun, Fir'aun, Haman and Ubayy ibn Khalf."

Related by Ahmad, at-Tabarani and Ibn Hibban.

Dear and beloved Sister in Islam, remaining quiet is not even an option, if indeed you fear for him his Day of Accounting in the Presence of his Lord Most High! In addition to making sincere supplications to Allah Subhanah to soften your son’s heart towards Allah’s obedience, you should not stop preaching and reminding him in the best possible manner and doing whatever it takes (except force, for that could be counter-productive) to remind him of his obligatory duties unto his Lord. If after your very best efforts, you son still refuses to bow down unto his Lord Creator in prayer, then he alone will be responsible for failing to fulfill his obligatory duties unto his Lord Who Created him and unto Whom is his return.

May Allah Subhanah make your trial easy for you, bestow His Mercy upon you and your family, and guide your son to do deeds which will bring coolness to your eyes. Ameen.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan