Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

im 22yrs old syed girl.ilikea guy for the past 4 yrs and want to marry him. he also wants to marry me and has even talked to his parents about it..he and dis family both are religious....

the problem is that my family do not marry "girls" outside syeds... my extended family considers it a sin for a syed girl to get married outside syed but i do not belive in it....i love my parents and i know that if i leave this guy for my parents allah will reward me... but what confuses me is that my parents are stopping me to marry him on a wrong thing... his being born in a non syed family was not in his hands...

my family while choosing the perfect match for their daughters only look at the fact whether the perspective groom is a syed or not.. im hundred percent sure that the match my parents choose for me will be not as religious as his is..
most of the marriages in our family are intermariages.. most of the guys in our family do not pray, go to discos, some even drink... but my parents say that they will change by time... for them th most imp point is groom being syed nothing else...
if i want to marry this guy here is no other option for me but to go for a court marriage... to this my friend does not agree as he says we have no right to hurt our parents so much... i myself dnt want to hurt them and im very confused... is syed girl not allowed to marry outside syed....

if i marry this non syed guy my family will stop seeing me as the same thing has happened in other cases plz guide as to what to do 

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Answer:

Syed Marry non syed

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: is syed girl not allowed to marry outside syed....

The literal meaning of the Arabic term ‘Syed’ is a ‘leader’, and is used in colloquial Arabic as a term for respect like ‘Mr.’ in the English language.

There is no particular sect, tribe or family which is known as ‘Syeds’. This ‘Syed’ term for some reason has become synonymous in the Indo-Pak region to mean a descendant of the Noble Messenger of Allah (saws) and is most probably derived from the early Arab settlers who came to the Indo-Pak region and were called ‘Syeds’ in respect by the local population.

The descendants of the Noble Prophet of Allah (saws) are better known as the Banu-Hashim or the Hashimites.

There are a lot of people in the Indian Subcontinent who call themselves ‘Syeds’ and connote that they are descendants of the Messenger of Allah (saws). They may or may not be the direct descendants of the Prophet (saws) or from the Banu Hashim, and Allah Subhanah Alone knows best.

Even if one were to belong to the family of Prophet Mohamed (saws), there is absolutely no restriction or condition in Islam that they cannot marry an eligible believer from another family. The absolutely biggest example is the marriage of the Prophet Mohamed (saws) itself to Hadrat Safiyyah binte Huayy who was born to a Jewish family and converted to Islam before her marriage to the Prophet (saws)!

Your Question: if i marry this non syed guy my family will stop seeing me as the same thing has happened in other cases plz guide as to what to do 

If your parents objection to your marriage with your choice is only because the boy is a non-syed, then indeed their reason is invalid and without merit. As wrong and invalid their decision in rejecting your marriage to your choice might be, they are still your parents and their rights upon you are second to none except the rights due to Allah and His Messenger (saws).

Thus in our humble opinion, it would be best if you could with absolute humility, tenderness, politeness, wisdom and extreme patience try to convince your parents to consent to your choice in marriage. But if after your best efforts they are still adamant in their refusal, and you have to choose between your parents and the boy, as your brothers and well-wishers in faith our sincere advice to you would be to sacrifice your love for the boy and choose your parents. Allah is our witness sister, you will always find another person to love and marry; but never ever will you be able to find another set of parents!

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4928 Narrated by Abud Darda

When a man came to him and said, "I have a wife whom my mother commands me to divorce," he replied to him that he had heard Allah's Messenger (saws) say, "A parent is the best of the gates of Paradise; so if you wish, keep to the gate, or lose it."

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan