I had a boyfriend, I had intercourse with him. I was 14 and I knew it was wrong but I did it. As I was getting older, I was disgusted
Mu' meneen
Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam
Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and
Blessings be upon all of you)
One of
our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
DEAR Burhan or to whom it may concern,
sadly when i've asked a question I've not
receive a response. I'm trying once again.
The truth is that i'm Muslim (girl), a
pakistani one born in
Now that i've given you this background,
where do I stand. I know that no one has the answer to this
except Allah. When I preach, I always maintain that what i've done
is wrong, YOU DON'T DO IT, i've done it out of weakness but its wrong. I
also want to become the best. I am very knowledgeable, but I did not
utilize it out of laziness and worldliness but at the same time I am
extreme, but yet when it comes to love i'm weak. I know what type of a
sin it is to commit zinnah. But its too late for me now. Just take
note, that its 2 guys who I had sexual relationships on a large scale, the
first was out of sheer stupidity and second out of love. Also two
abortions i'm repsonsible for. I've been thinking for so many years and
years. Now I cannot take this anymore, thats why Im e-mailing
you. I cannot face Allah with having sexual intercourse relationship
with two guys and two abortions. I cant even die out of fear in facing
him. I know he is forgiving. But for a girl like me (and note, that
Im a girl and i've done this, is sick), for a girl like me, what shall I
do. I know we need to sincerely repent. But after such things that
i've done. Of course theres other sins as well. But for a Muslim
girl these are the biggest. I cannot sleep no more. If i'm to
repent, then what comes to my mind is the ayah where it says that the person
who commits zinnah should be stoned to death. What about that? And
for me whose done it numerous times with two different people?
Another issue is that, I still love my
religion and I grew up in a good muslim family that is why Im so conscious of
Islam and my deeds that have been put forth. Its different that I gave
into the culture of the west. I also did not grow up in a family, where I
was pressured to pray 5 times and was oppressed. My father is a religious
man whose always taught us to love ALLAH and fear him and pray regularly.
And i've done all that, I love Islam with a passion and see myself as a great
Muslim in the future (insh'allah). But due to my upbringing, I naturally
speak Islamically and you can tell from my speech that i'm religious minded,
especially when I would tell guys and girl friends not to drink alcohol as
there prayer does not get accepted while alcohol is in the body. But due
to a comment of someones they've made me feel that its hypocricy. I have
always maintained that they should never leave their prayers because that
distinguishes us from Kaafirs, but they say, "excuse me, you cannot
do sin and then keep praying" thats hypocritical. But i've always
been taught and have had the knowledge that when you SIN you're not taken out
from the folds of Islam. I mean, we sin, because we're weak, but
islamically conscious people who care for there religion, repent and keep
trying to overcome their weaknesses and sins.. Thats what I was always
taught. It doesnt' mean that if i'm having intercourse or if someone is
drinking that they should STOP praying?, is that what the law is? Prayer
is in its own place, its supposed to help you stop your sins, isn't it?
How can someone say, that its hypocritical to have sex and pray. If one
is having intercourse due to weakness of love and is still feeliing guilty and
striving to do better is that not right? I need answers, I cannot take
these comments from others, as people often discuss this in universtiy as
well. No matter what i do I still continue to do all my Islamic duties
and guide people, whether Im doing it or not, but I've been fighting with
myself.
Please also tell me about where I stand
after having intercourse with 2 guys and two abortions. Will I EVER
be able to get out of this situation. I know I cannot ever turn into
a virgin. But I lost it at such a young age, and stand here today in this
state. Please answer a.s.a.p, I feel like committing suicide, although
its sin to even think about it.
(There may be
some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not
change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our
readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
Answer:
In the name of Allah, We
praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah
guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide
them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam,
no dai, nobody!) worthy of
worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His
slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Your Question: Please also tell me about where
I stand after having intercourse with 2 guys and two abortions.
Will I EVER be able to get out of this situation
My dear and beloved
sister in Islam, regardless of whatever sins one might have done in one’s past,
if one is sincerely ashamed at one’s prior deeds, turns back to their Lord Most
Gracious, makes a solemn covenant with Him that they would never ever approach
that sin again, and in all humility, awe, fear and hope begs, beseeches and implores
their Lord Most Gracious to forgive them their sins; it is expected that they
will find their Lord Forgiving and Merciful.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:
(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do
not despair of Allah’s Mercy!
Surely, Allah forgives all
sins. He indeed is the All
Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before
the scourge overtakes you; for then you
may get no help from anywhere.”
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse
135-136:
Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong
their own soul by the commission of a sin,
remember Allah instantly, and ask
for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who,
but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly
persist in the wrongs they did. These
will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah,
and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do
good deeds!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:
When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule
of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil
in ignorance, and thereafter repented
and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is
Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
My beloved sister, you
talk of committing fornication with two people and having two abortions….if one
had committed the abomination of zina with even a hundred people and had in
their past committed even a hundred abortions….if even they had turned to their
Lord seeking repentance, their Lord would have taken them in His Mercy and
forgiven them their sin! Beloved
Sister, rest assured that the Mercy and Forgiveness of our Lord Most Gracious
is vast, encompassing, and endless…provided one turns back to Him in sincere
repentance before they meet their appointment of death!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verses 63-71:
The (true) servants of the Merciful are those who walk humbly on the
earth. When the ignorant people behave
insolently towards them, they say,
“Peace to you”; (And those) who pass
their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before their Lord and pray,
“O our Lord, save us from the torment of
Hell, for its torment is killing! It is an evil abode, and an evil resting place”. (And those) who, when they spend are neither extravagant, nor miserly,
but keep the golden mean between the two extremes. (And those) who do not invoke any god but
Allah Alone, nor kill a soul
unjustly, which Allah has
forbidden, nor commit adultery… He who
does this shall be punished for his sin,
and his torment shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection, and he shall abide in a state of
ignominy; EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY
HAVE REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS), AND
HAVE BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS DEEDS.
For then, Allah will change his
evil deeds into good deeds, and
He is very Forgiving and Merciful. In
fact, one who repents and does righteous
deeds, returns to Allah as one rightly
should!
My beloved Sister,
regardless of whatever evil one might have done in one’s past in ignorance of
the Laws of the Lord Most High, if one sincerely turns back to Him seeking
sincere repentance, believes and does righteous good deeds thereafter…such is
the Mercy and Promise of our Lord Most Merciful that not only has He promised
in His Glorious Quran to forgive such repentant slaves their sins, but in His
Absolute Grace and Mercy, He has Promised to change their evil deeds into good
deeds in their Book of Records! Such is
the vastness and magnanimity of the Mercy and Forgiveness of the Lord Most
Gracious on those who sincerely turn back to Him!
Allah's
Messenger (saws) said, "He who repents of a sin is like him who has
committed no sin."
My dear and beloved
sister in Islam, rest assured that if you have sought sincere repentance for your
past deeds from your Lord, regardless of however evil they might have
been….your Lord Most Gracious will wipe out those deeds completely from your
Book of Records and not even ask you about them on the Day of Judgment; for the
Messenger of Allah (saws) said that one who repents of a sin is like him who
has committed no sin!
Your Statements: I mean, we sin, because we're
weak, but islamically conscious people who care for there religion, repent and
keep trying to overcome their weaknesses and sins.. Thats what I was
always taught. It doesnt' mean that if i'm having intercourse or if
someone is drinking that they should STOP praying?, is that what the law
is? Prayer is in its own place, its supposed to help you stop your sins,
isn't it? How can someone say, that its hypocritical to have sex and
pray. If one is having intercourse due to weakness of love and is still
feeliing guilty and striving to do better is that not right? I need
answers, I cannot take these comments from others, as people often discuss this
in universtiy as well
Allah Says in
the Holy Quran Chapter 29 Surah Ankabut verse 45:
45 Recite what is sent of the Book by
inspiration to thee and establish Regular Prayer: for Prayer restrains
from shameful and unjust deeds; and remembrance of Allah is the
greatest (thing in life) without doubt. And Allah Knows the (deeds) that ye do.
Without an iota of a
doubt sister, the institution of prayer restrains one from indulging in
shameful and unjust deeds. Regardless of
what anyone says sister, never ever leave the Remembrance of your Lord and
abstain from striving in His Cause and doing good deeds just because of the
accusations and allegations of the ignorant.
The Lord Most Gracious Knows well the intentions of each in His
creation, and for those who believe and strive to do righteous good deeds will
have their due and full reward in His Majestic Presence, Insha Allah.
Your Statement: I feel like committing
suicide, although its sin to even think about it.
Beloved
sister in Islam, suicide should never ever be an option for the one who
sincerely believes in Allah and the Last Day; for no matter what the reason, if
one commits suicide, the punishment for this abomination of a sin is guaranteed
Hell Fire in the eternal life of the Hereafter!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 29:
O ye who
believe! Eat not up your property among
yourselves in vanities: but let there be amongst you traffic and trade by
mutual good-will: nor kill
yourselves: for verily Allah hath been to you Most Merciful.
The Prophet (p.b.u.h) said, "Whoever commits suicide with
piece of iron will be punished with the same piece of iron in the Hell
Fire." Narrated Jundab the Prophet said, "A man was inflicted with
wounds and he committed suicide, and so Allah said: My slave has caused death on himself
hurriedly, so I forbid
The Prophet (saws) said, "He who commits suicide by
throttling shall keep on throttling himself in the Hell Fire (forever) and he
who commits suicide by stabbing himself shall keep on stabbing himself in the
Hell-Fire."
Beloved
Sister, we urge you to fear Allah Subhanah, and be patient with whatever befalls
you in the life of this world, for Allah is our witness, whatever calamities
and afflictions befall man in this world are nothing but a trial set upon them
by their Lord. Beloved sister in Islam,
we assure you from the guidance of the Quran and Sunnah, that no matter what
befalls one in the life of this short and transitory world, the real life is
the everlasting life of the Hereafter.
Allah Says in
the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verses 155-157:
155 Be sure We shall test you with something of
fear, and hunger, some loss in goods, or lives, or the fruits (of your toil);
but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere.
156 Who say when afflicted with calamity:
"To Allah we belong and to Him is our return."
157 They are those on whom (descend)
blessings from Allah and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance.
My
dear and beloved sister in Islam, no matter what conditions and trials you find
yourself in today, know and believe with certainty that your Lord is well aware
of the exact condition of each of His creation, and He never ever lays a burden
on one more than one can bear. Thus
regardless of whatever situation befalls a believer, never ever should he
despair of the unlimited and infinite Mercy of their Lord Most Merciful.
The
avowed enemy of man, the Shaytaan, may make the situation seem unbearable; but
if you keep your trust in Allah Subhanah and be patient, and bear with patience
whatever calamities and afflictions befall you in the life of this world; Allah
Subhanah will make your trial easy for you.
My beloved sister, remain constant in your supplications to your Lord,
for He Alone is the disposer of all affairs.
As
your brothers and sincere well-wishers in Islam, we beg and implore you in the
name of Allah Subhanah, do not ever even contemplate to take your own life, as
that would in no way end the situation; but on the contrary it would be a
beginning of much more serious and unbearable conditions of eternal and
everlasting punishments of the Hereafter.
We beg you to fear Allah and not take a step that would be nothing but a
source of regret for you in your everlasting life of the Hereafter.
May
Allah Subhanah have Mercy upon you, help you, grant you with patience and
perseverance to face the challenges that the test of life brings upon you, and
guide you to do what is pleasing to Him.
Ameen.
Whatever written of
Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever
of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows
Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
Wister