Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Salam Brother Burhan,

Please keep my email confidential on the main board.

I kind of Agree wiTh This Muslimah Sister who Discrimates HIJAB between men and women. I too read those few quotations from the Quran. Your Hair and Head is never mentioned for women in this verse. It says `Draw their veils over their bossoms` And To cover private parts, Not to display our beauty but which is revealed off itself. The Beauty of a woman which should be covered is her Bust, her stomach, and her private parts.

I understand that a muslim woman using low cut tops, very tight trying to show herself it extremely bad. This is just not Islamic. A Good muslim woman should always cover herself not showing her cleavage since Allah has said Cover your bossoms and etc. However HEAD is not mentioned...About the word in Arabic KHIMAR used. Khimar is a long scarf to cover the whole body. Where does it say Head should be covered.

I personally think, If women should use Hijab so should MEN.

When you told this Muslima Girl that you cannot believe that A Woman gets excited everytime she Sees A Man`s face? Well Science has proved that women have a higher sexual drive than men! Ofcourse For example, I see a good looking man with a beautiful face, eyes, Hair, I would be attracted to him and Satan does give us women desires to think of Sexual acts! How Can YOU say that it can`t be so! Every human being has Good and Evil with him. Sometimes It is hard to resist Evil. Its not our fault Is it?!

It is True that MEN use Islam as a TOOL to control women. It is true that Allah has created MEN polygamous, but ONE man cannot be JUST to all 4 wives. Therefore he cannot marry. It is a Sin. It is only allowed if there is a strong reason, first wife is infertile, or the man however needs to marry another woman, but he has to TREAT them both the same just as our Holy Prophet Mohammad did! Nowadays many muslim men like I said use Islam as a Tool and they marry 4 wives just in order to satisfy their sexual needs. These men who do that are the true owners of the hell fire.

Thank You.

 

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Answer:

 

Sister against 4 marriages

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Your Question: I kind of Agree wiTh This Muslimah Sister who Discrimates HIJAB between men and women. I too read those few quotations from the Quran. Your Hair and Head is never mentioned for women in this verse. It says `Draw their veils over their bossoms` And To cover private parts, Not to display our beauty but which is revealed off itself. The Beauty of a woman which should be covered is her Bust, her stomach, and her private parts….. About the word in Arabic KHIMAR used. Khimar is a long scarf to cover the whole body. Where does it say Head should be covered.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 24 Surah Nur verse 31:

(O Prophet) enjoin the believing woman to restrain their gaze and guard their modesty, and not to display their adornment except that which is displayed of itself, and to draw their veils over their bosoms, and not to display their adornments except before their husbands, their fathers, …….and also forbid them to stamp their feet on the ground lest their hidden ornaments should be displayed.

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah Ahzaab verse 59:

O Prophet, enjoin your wives and daughters, and the believing women, that they should cast their ‘jalaabe-be-hinn’ (outer garments) over their persons. It is expected that they will thus be recognized, and not molested. Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

 

Dear and Beloved Sister, anyone who has even basic knowledge of the Arabic language will confirm that the term ‘jalaabe-be-hinn’ means to completely cover something from its beginning to its end, just as the central pole is covered by the outer material in a tent. That in essence is the root meaning of the Arabic term ‘jalaabe-be-hinn’.

 

Thus, without an iota of doubt, even the terminology and the script of the Quran dictates, and the scholars and jurists in Islam are absolutely unanimous in their opinion that a believing woman, who sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day and wishes to be obedient to her Lord, must cover herself completely, ‘except that which is displayed of itself’ (her hands and her face).

 

Fiqh-us-Sunnah Fiqh 1.113

There is absolutely no dispute amongst the Jurists in Islam over what constitutes a woman's 'aurah’ (parts which need to be hidden). It is stated that her entire body is 'aurah’ and must be covered, except her hands and face. It has been authentically related from Ibn 'Abbas, Ibn 'Umar and 'Aishah that the Prophet (saws) said, "Allah does not accept the prayer of an adult woman unless she is wearing a headcovering (khimar, hijab)."

This is related by Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmidhi, and Abu Dawood.

 

My dear and beloved Sister, in light of the clear guidance of the Quran and the authentic Sunnah, the hair of the believing woman constitutes a part of her ‘aurah’ and must be covered when in the presence of non-mehrams.

 

Your Statement: I personally think, If women should use Hijab so should MEN.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 24 Surah Noor verse 30:

30 Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.

 

My beloved sister, Allah has commanded the believers to lower their gaze and scrupulously guard their modesty; but nowhere has Allah in His Glorious Book of Guidance, nor the Messenger (saws) in his tradition ever commanded the believing men to dorn a ‘hijaab’! If Allah and His Messenger (saws) had commanded and considered a virture for the men to wear a ‘hijaab’, Allah is our witness sister, the believers who sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day, would have considered it an honor and strived to obey the command of their Lord unconditionally.

 

Beloved Sister, a believer is indeed permitted to have his/her personal opinion in matters where Allah and His Messenger (saws) have not given their Judgment and Decision; but it does not behove nor befit one, who sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day, to have an opinion after Allah and His Messenger (saws) have decided and given a judgment on a particular matter!

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah Ahzaab verse 36:

It does not behove a believing man and a believing woman that when Allah and His Messenger have given their decision in a matter, they should exercise an option in that matter of theirs. For whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, has indeed strayed into manifest error!

 

Your Statement: It is True that MEN use Islam as a TOOL to control women.

It is neither fair nor right to generalize a whole gender and opine that all ‘men’ in general use Islam as a TOOL to control women! There have always been, are, and will be believers, men and women, who sincerely fear Allah their Lord, and practice Islam only to earn the Lord’s Pleasure and Good Will.

 

It would be more factual to state that ‘some’ amongst men use Islam as a ‘Tool’ for their own personal agendas and benefits, including the control of their women; and rest assured sister that Allah Subhanah knows very well who amongst His creation is sincerely obedient to Him and who ‘use’ His approved and perfect deen for other purposes. The guilty ones amongst them should prepare for a severe accounting indeed in the Presence of the Majestic and Supreme Lord.

 

Your Statement: It is true that Allah has created MEN polygamous, but ONE man cannot be JUST to all 4 wives.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 129:

129 Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women (wives) even if it is your ardent desire: but turn not away (from a wife) altogether so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If ye come to a friendly understanding and practice self-restraint Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful.

 

Allah Subhanah has Himself stated that it is indeed not in the nature of men, as hard as they might strive and try, to be fair and just amongst their wives; but even then has the All-Knowing, All-Wise Lord given permission to the believers who may wish to exercise their option to practice polygamy.

 

The Messenger of Allah (saws) who himself had in matrimony a maximum of nine wives at any one time used to constantly beg and implore Allah Subhanah to not hold him accountable for something which was not in his control: his heart, or his love and affection for one of his wives over another.

 

Thus what a man, who has more than one wife, will be held accountable for in the Presence of Allah is that he be absolutely fair and just amongst his wives in the distribution of what is absolutely in his control: his time and his resources; for as much as one strives, it is neither natural nor possible that one is able to equally love any two individuals equally even if it be his ardent desire…. even if this love be towards ones parents, ones brothers or sisters, or even one’s friends!

 

Your Decision!: Therefore he cannot marry. It is a Sin.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 3:

3 If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess. That will be more suitable to prevent you from doing injustice.

 

My dear and beloved Sister, Allah Subhanah, the Lord of the Worlds, has given permission for a believer to marry upto a maximum of four wives at any one time, if he wishes to do so! But if one amongst them ‘fears’ that he might not be able to be just and fair amongst his wives, he should marry only one.

 

But if one amongst the believers who wishes to exercise this allowance from his Lord and marry more than one wife, and he is confident that he will be able to be just and fair amongst his wife, he is absolutely within his rights to seek to marry again and there would be no sin upon him.

 

Your Statement: It is a Sin.

If one amongst the men who chooses to take more than one wife and is not fair and just in the distribution of his time and resources amongst his wives, it would indeed be a sin in the Sight of the Lord and such a person will be held severely accountable for his injustice in the Majestic Presence of the Lord All-Mighty on an Inevitable Day.

 

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2128 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of resurrection with a side hanging down.’

 

But if one who has more than one wife sincerely fears his Lord, and strives to the best of his ability to be absolutely just and fair amongst his wives because the Lord who gave him permission to marry more than one wife has commanded him to do so, he will indeed have his due reward for his obedience in the Presence of his Lord Most High.

 

Beloved Sister, for one in creation to unilaterally opine and decide from themselves that something in Islam is illegal, forbidden and a sin when Allah and His Messenger (saws) have themselves declared it legal and permissible is indeed a grave error and a sin!

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 16 Surah Nahl verses 116-117:

116 But say not for any false thing that your tongues may put forth "This is lawful and this is forbidden" so as to ascribe false things to Allah. For those who ascribe false things to Allah will never prosper.

117 (In such falsehood) is but a paltry profit; but they will have a Most Grievous Penalty.

 

Just as it is considered a grave and heinous sin in Islam to declare lawful what Allah and His Messenger (saws) have declared forbidden (eg. Wine, flesh of swine, gambling, etc.); it is similarly a grave and heinous sin in the Sight of the Lord that one unilaterally of their own selves declare ‘haraam’ what Allah and His Messenger (saws) have permitted as lawful!

 

For example: Allah and His Messenger (saws) have declared beef as lawful and permissible for the believers to consume; but the consumption of beef or ‘red meat’ may not be too beneficial or even harmful for one who has a cholesterol or heart problem. There is absolutely no harm and no sin that such a person who ‘fears’ that the consumption of ‘red meat’ may harm him, and thus he chooses to abstains from it….but for such a person to unilaterally declare that beef or ‘red meat’ is forbidden, ‘haraam’, or a sin in Islam would be to dare to declare forbidden what Allah Subhanah has deemed permissible!

 

If one amongst the believers is confident that he will be able to be fair and just in the allocation and distribution of his time and his resources if he takes more than one wife, it is permissible and legal for him in Islam to exercise his option of marrying more than one wife. But if one is satisfied with one wife, or fears that he might not be able to be just and fair amongst his wives if he marries again, he has the option of marrying only one wife.

 

Your Statement: It is only allowed if there is a strong reason, first wife is infertile, or the man however needs to marry another woman, but he has to TREAT them both the same just as our Holy Prophet Mohammad did! Nowadays many muslim men like I said use Islam as a Tool and they marry 4 wives just in order to satisfy their sexual needs.

Beloved Sister, the condition for one who wishes to exercise the option or permission to marry more than one wife is laid very clear by Allah Subhanah:

‘marry women of your choice two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one,’

 

If one fears that he shall not be able to be just and fair amongst his wives, then he should only marry one; but if wishes for any reason to take more than one wife, provided he is confident that he will be able to deal fairly and justly amongst his wives, he is well within his rights in Islam to exercise his option of marrying more than once, if he wishes to do so; and there will be absolutely no sin upon him.

 

Other than the fear of not being able to be fair and just amongst his wives, neither Allah Subhanah nor His Messenger (saws) have put another condition, nor stated that one must have a strong reason, nor have they said that the first wife has to be infertile, etc. To unilaterally of oneself invent and insert conditions in the permissible things in Islam when Allah and His Messenger (saws) have not endorsed them, or to declare or judge something which is held permissible in Islam as illegal or a sin, is neither considered righteousness, nor piety, nor a virtue but rather a grave sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah!

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 45:

And if any fail to judge by what Allah hath revealed, they are the ‘dhalimoon’ (wrong-doers)!

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 47:

If any do fail to judge by what Allah hath revealed, they are the ‘fasiqoon’ (rebellious)!

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 44:

If any do fail to judge by what Allah hath revealed, they are the ‘kaaferoon’ (disbelievers)!

 

My beloved Sister in Islam, ‘sexuality’ or the fulfillment of one’s natural sexual desires is in itself not evil nor forbidden in Islam, provided this natural physical need of mankind is fulfilled within the boundaries of marriage. So much so that the Messenger of Allah (saws) declared that if one has sex with his legally wedded wife/wives, he (and she) will have a reward for fulfilling their passion!

 

Abu Dhar al-Ghafari reported: ‘The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: “there is a reward for you [even] in sex with your wife."’ The companions asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah (saws) is there a reward if one satisfies his passion?" He (saws) said: "Do you know that if he satisfies it unlawfully he has taken a sin upon himself? Likewise, if he satisfies it lawfully, he is rewarded."

 

My dear and beloved sister, the display of this resistance of a woman against sharing her husband with another woman is indeed only natural and a honest disposition of the monogamous nature that Allah has bestowed upon the women. Because by nature a woman is monogamous, it rightly seems absolutely unnatural for her to love more than one husband at any one time. She thus erroneously assumes that men are also bestowed with a similar monogamous nature and it would be impossible for them to love more than one wife at any one time! That is what obviously results from this erroneous assumption is a strong resistance, opposition and challenge to what seems absolutely natural to the other gender!

 

If one can bring themselves to accept that it is in the bestowed nature of parents (father and mother) to have, love and sustain more than one child, for a brother or sister to love more than one brother or sister, for a friend to love more than one friend, etc.; it is also the bestowed polygamous nature of man that he has the ability to love more than one wife at any one time!

 

When a couple has one child and Allah grants them another, it does not mean nor does it happen that the parents now don’t love the first child, or that the love of the first child is halved in their hearts to make room to love the second child, or that they will now disown and mistreat the first child just because they have another child! But Allah in His Mercy expands the hearts and the love of the parents, and without diminishing even an iota of the love that they once had for their first-born, the parents love, cherish, and honor both their off-springs equally.

 

Yes, it is also natural that at times the first child, because of his ignorance or even innocence, does at times feel jealous of the initial attention given to the second born, and may even think that just because his parents now have a second child, they do not love him like they did before! But those of us who have multiple brothers and sisters, or whom Allah has blessed to become parents, know for a fact that this fear of the first child is absolutely unfounded and the parents love all their children affectionately and unconditionally!

 

For one to make it illegal, forbidden, and unlawful and assume that it is absolutely impossible for a man to love more than one wife, is as unfounded and as baseless as the first-born making it illegal and forbidden for his parents to have a second child!!!

 

Allah Subhanah has bestowed man with a polygamous nature and thus the very nature of man has the ability and the capacity to be able to love, sustain and cherish more than one woman in his life.

 

If one forcefully tries to block or challenge this nature of man, as the ungodly societies in the world we unfortunately live in today have tried to do; because being polygamous is in their very nature, and if they are not allowed to fulfill it legally, some amongst them will try to fulfill it illegally! Just take a look at the state of those societies and those people who do not fear Allah…the ‘extra-marital affairs’ of the likes of President Clinton, the likes of David Beckham, the likes of Prince Charles, the likes of a number of celebrities, sport starts, or public officials or even those of our friends, colleagues and acquaintances and the issue of ‘loving more than one woman’ would be seen in its proper perspective!

 

I was reading a report (and Allah Alone knows the extent of its authenticity) that the vast majority of American men (an astonishing 76%) admit to having had an ‘extra-marital’ affair!

 

My dear and Beloved Sister, the perfect and natural deen of Islam has recognized the polygamous nature of men, and made it permissible for those amongst them who are unable to satisfy their needs with one woman, to legally marry and honor another….with the stipulated, prescribed and strict condition that they will be fair and just in the treatment of their wives. We reiterate again that to marry more than one wife is only a permission for those who wish to do so, and not a command that every believer must do so!

 

And if truth be told, and for all the challenges and opposition this ‘permission’ of polygamy in Islam has been propagated and exploited by those who do not understand the intricacies of nature and Islamic Law, only a small minority (about 2-3%) of the believers, in this day and age, actually choose to marry more than one wife!

 

In contrast, I was reading a report (and Allah Alone knows the extent of its authenticity) that the vast majority of American men (an astonishing 76%) admit to having had an ‘extra-marital’ affair!

 

Your Statement: These men who do that are the true owners of the hell fire.

Allah is our witness Sister, those believers who have chosen to exercise their option to practice polygamy, fear Allah their Lord, strive to be just and fair amongst their wives, and live their lives within the declared boundaries of Allah will have their due reward with their Lord.

 

And Allah is our witness sister, those who form illegal and illicit relationships with ‘other’ women out of marriage, do not fear Allah their Lord, live their lives in transgression of the declared boundaries of Allah, and were to meet their appointment of death without seeking the sincere forgiveness of their Lord will have a severe accounting in the Presence of the Majestic and Supreme Lord on an Inevitable Day.

 

In conclusion, my beloved sister, you or any of our respected sisters, because of their honest monogamous natures, may not fully comprehend, nor like, nor are comfortable with the permission and option that The All-Knowing, All-Wise, Lord Creator has given the believers who are not satisfied with one woman to choose to practice polygamy legally….but as your brothers and sincere well-wishers in Islam we humbly urge and implore you, as we remind ourselves, to fear Allah, never ever strive to challenge His Laws, His Decisions, His Judgments and His Permissions, never ever to strive to declare lawful what Allah has declared as ‘haraam’, nor ever strive to declare forbidden what has been declared as ‘halaal’ by Allah Subhanah, The Lord of the Worlds.

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah Ahzaab verse 36:

It does not behove a believing man and a believing woman that when Allah and His Messenger have given their decision in a matter, they should exercise an option in that matter of theirs. For whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, has indeed strayed into manifest error!

 

The All-Knowing, All-Wise Lord has deemed the practice of polygamy permissible for the believers who are confident that they will be able to deal fairly and justly amongst their wives….thus let no one in creation, not even your own ‘nafs’ or desires convince you to declare forbidden what Allah, the Lord of the Worlds, has deemed as lawful. A believer, who has truly submitted his self to his Lord and Creator, regardless of whether he comprehends the Wisdom of a Decision of His Lord or not, regardless of whether he likes a Decision of His Lord or not, is obliged to accept it wholeheartedly….for that then would be considered true submission and obedience, and the unfailing reward of this unconditional submission and obedience would be the Promised Eternal Gardens of Paradise!

 

The believers have ‘sold’ their souls, their likes and dislikes, their wills and their freedom, their selves and their provisions to none but their Lord Creator, in exchange for the Eternal and Everlasting Gardens of Bliss!

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 9 Surah Taubah verse 111:

111 Allah hath purchased of the believers their persons and their provisions; for theirs (in return) is the Gardens (of Paradise)!

 

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

Burhan