Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Hello,
My question is that I want to know what i can do to become more patient. I mean I am not an angry person by nature but sometimes i loose my temper and then i feel bad about it. so what can i do to control my temper further. also, is it wrong if u loose your temper if u think something unfair is being done ?? because different people have different views, what i may think as unfair others might not. also, i try to pray regularly but i dont feel any motivation. but i feel guilty for not praying regularly. what can i do to get the motivation to pray regularly.

Thanks for your help. 

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Answer:

Control anger and temper

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: My question is that I want to know what i can do to become more patient. I mean I am not an angry person by nature but sometimes i loose my temper and then i

feel bad about it. so what can i do to control my temper further. also, is it wrong if u loose your temper if u think something unfair is being done ??

Dear and Beloved Brother in Islam, ‘anger’ like love, sadness, happiness, weeping, etc. is a natural emotion of a human being, and it is possible that at an occurrence or incident one may experience the emotion of anger. Thus when one experiences the natural emotion of anger, there is no sin and one will not be accountable for one’s anger, but what one does or says when one is angry will definitely be taken to account by their Lord All-Mighty. It is the deeds a person does when he is angry that will determine his reward or his punishment in the Sight of Allah Subhanah!

Al-Muwatta Hadith 47.11

Malik related from Ibn Shihab from Humayd ibn Abd ar-Rahman ibn Awf that a man came to the Messenger of Allah (saws) and said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws), teach me some words which I can live by. Do not make them too much for me, lest I forget." The Messenger of Allah (saws) said, "Do not be angry."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 5145 Narrated by Abu Sa'id al-Khudri

Allah's Messenger (saws) mentioned anger, saying, "Some are swift to anger and swift to cool down, the one characteristic making up for the other; some are slow to anger and slow to cool down, the one characteristic making up for the other; but the best of you are those who are slow to anger and swift to cool down, and the worst of you are those who are swift to anger and slow to cool down." He continued, "Beware of anger, for it is a live coal on the heart of the descendant of Adam. Do you not notice the swelling of the veins of his neck and the redness of his eyes? So when anyone experiences anything of that nature he should lie down and cleave to the earth."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 1740 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud

The Prophet (saws) said: A believer does not taunt, curse, abuse or talk indecently.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 29 Narrated by Mu'adh ibn Jabal

I said to Allah's Messenger (saws): ‘Inform me about an act which would entitle me to get into Paradise, and remove me away from Hell-Fire.’ He (the Prophet (saws)) said: ‘You have asked me about a matter (which ostensibly appears to be) difficult but it is easy to those for whom Allah, the Exalted, has made it easy. Worship Allah and do not associate anything with him, establish prayer, pay the Zakat, observe the fast of Ramadan and perform Hajj to the (Sacred) House (Ka'bah).’ He (saws) further said: ‘Should I not direct you to the gateways of good? Listen to me: The fasting is a shield against evil, the charity extinguishes (the fire of sin) just as water extinguishes fire.’ Then he (saws) said: ‘Should I not direct you to the highest level of this matter, to the pillar on which (it all rests) and its top?’ I said: ‘O Allah's Messenger (saws) yes, (do tell me).’ He (saws) said: ‘The uppermost level of the matter is al-Islam. Its pillar is the prayer and its top is Jihad.’ He (saws) then said: ‘Should I not inform you of the sheet anchor of all this?’ I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah (saws) (of course do it).’ He (saws) took hold of his tongue and said: ‘Exercise restraint on it.’ I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah (saws), would we be held responsible for what we say with it?’ Thereupon he (saws) said: ‘O Mu'adh, may your mother be bereaved! Will anything else besides (irresponsible, evil, abusive, vain) talk cause the people to be thrown into the Hell-Fire upon their faces or on their nostrils?’

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4762 Narrated by Mu'adh ibn Jabal

Two men reviled each other in the presence of the Prophet (saws) and one of them became excessively angry so much so that I thought that his nose will break up on account of excess of anger. The Prophet (saws) said: ‘I know a phrase which, if he repeated, he could get rid of this angry feeling.’ They asked: ‘What is it, O Messenger of Allah (saws)?’ He (saws) replied: ‘He should say: ‘I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytaan.’

Dear and Beloved Brother, the emotion of anger is instigated by the accursed enemy of man, the Shaytaan; and as soon as one experiences anger and before he does anything which he regrets, he should first and foremost and immediately seek refuge in Allah The Most High from the accursed Shaytaan by declaring ‘Aoodobillahe minas Shaytaan-ar-rajeem’ (I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytaan); it is expected that Allah Subhanah will protect the person who sincerely declares this statement from the instigations of the Shaytaan.

If the anger still persists, the Messenger of Allah (saws) guided that the person must immediately sit down if he is standing, and if he is sitting, he should cleave the earth and lie down. (Have you ever seen a person lying down being angry??)

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 5114 Narrated by Abu Dharr

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When one of you becomes angry while standing he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down."

If that does not work to appease one’s anger, one must perform the ‘wudu’ (ablution); and if the anger still persists after ablution, one should offer a couple of rakah of ‘nafl’ prayers; and if the anger still persists, one should leave the place and go for a walk or a drive.

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4766 Narrated by Atiyyah as-Sa'di

AbuWa'il al-Qass said: ‘We entered upon Urwah ibn Muhammad ibn as-Sa'di. A man spoke to him and made him angry. So he stood and performed ablution; he then returned and said: “My father told me on the authority of my grandfather Atiyyah who reported the Messenger of Allah (saws) as saying: ‘Anger comes from the Shaytaan, the Shaytaan was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution.”’

Beloved brother, anger is but only a natural emotion, and what one does or says when one is angry will determine his status and rank in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

Al-Muwatta Hadith 47.12

Yahya related from Malik from Ibn Shihab from Said ibn al-Musayyab from Abu Hurayra that the Messenger of Allah (saws) said, "A strong person is not the person who throws his adversaries to the ground. A strong person is he who contains himself when he is angry."

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4759 Narrated by Mu'adh ibn Jabal

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: ‘if anyone suppresses anger when he is in a position to give vent to it, Allah, the Exalted, will call him on the Day of Resurrection over the heads of all creatures, and ask him to choose any of the bright and large eyed maidens he wishes.’

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 5116 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "No one has swallowed back anything more excellent in the sight of Allah, Who is Great and Glorious, than anger he restrains, seeking to please Allah, The Most High."

Your Question: also, i try to pray regularly but i dont feel any motivation. but i feel guilty for not praying regularly. what can i do to get the motivation to pray regularly.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 103:

Indeed the Salaat is a prescribed duty that should be performed by the believers at their appointed times.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verses 45-46:

45 Nay, seek (Allah's) help with patient perseverance and prayer: it (prayer) is indeed hard, except to those who bring a lowly spirit.

46 Who bear in mind the certainty that they are to meet their Lord and that they are to return to Him.

It has been reported in an authentic narration that: a man came to the Prophet (saws) and said “ O Prophet of Allah (saws), what is the act or deed most loved by Allah?”

The Prophet (saws) replied: “To pray ones prayers on time.”

The man asked further: “What (deed or act is most loved by Allah) next?”

The Prophet (saws) replied: “Obedience to ones parents.”

The man asked further: “What (deed or act is most loved by Allah) next?”

The Prophet (saws) replied: “Jihaad in the Way of Allah.”

Jabir reports that the Prophet (saws) said, "Between a person and disbelief is discarding prayer."

Related by Ahmad, Muslim, Abu Dawud, at-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah.

Buraidah reported that the Prophet (saws) said, "The pact between us and them is prayer. Whoever abandons it is a disbeliever."

Related by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, at-Tirmidhi, anNasa'i and Ibn Majah.

Abdullah ibn 'Amr ibn al-'Aas reported that the Prophet (saws) one day mentioned the prayer and said, "Whoever guards and observes his prayer, they will be a light and a proof and a savior for him on the Day of Resurrection. Whoever does not guard and obvserve them, they will not be a light or a proof or a savior for him. On the Day of Resurrection, he will be with Qarun, Fir'aun, Haman and Ubayy ibn Khalf." Related by Ahmad, at-Tabarani and Ibn Hibban.

Dear and beloved brother, the importance and significance Allah and His Messenger (saws) have laid on the offering of the obligatory prayers cannot be over-emphasized! Prayer is such an important act and tool in the deen of Islam, that the Messenger of Allah (saws) named it the second pillar of Islam only after the declaration of the ‘shahadaah’ or testification of faith!

Your Question: what can i do to get the motivation to pray regularly.

Listed are a few things which might motivate one to offer this obligatory duty of prayer that our Lord Creator Himself has prescribed for the believers:

1. Truly understand the importance and significance Allah and His Messenger (saws) has laid on the offering of the five obligatory prayers.
2. Try to understand and fear the consequences declared by Allah and His Messenger (saws) for those who intentionally leave their obligatory prayers.
3. Make an effort and strive to understand the simple meanings of what is recited in one’s prayers; that will definitely help in developing interest in prayers.
4. Realize that when one is in prayer, one is in actual audience of the Majestic Lord of the Worlds! Describing the term ‘ahsaan’ in prayer, the Messenger of Allah (saws) said that one should offer one’s prayers as if they are ‘seeing’ Allah; and if they cannot bring themselves to that state they should at least know with conviction that their Lord sees them!
5. And the absolute best way to develop the habit of prayer and make sure one never ever misses one’s prayers is to strive to always be in the company of those who are foremost in offering their prayers in congregation.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 184 Narrated by Mu'adh ibn Jabal

Allah's Messenger (saws said: ‘Verily the Shaytaan is the wolf (enemy) of a man just as the wolf is (the enemy) of a flock! He seizes the solitary sheep going astray from the flock or going aside from the flock. So avoid the branching paths; it is essential for you to remain along with the Ummah.’

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 23 Surah Muminoon verses 1-11:

Most certainly those believers have attained True Success: WHO PERFORM THEIR PRAYERS WITH HUMILITY; who refrain from vain things; who spend their zakat dues in appropriate ways; who guard their private parts scrupulously, except with regard to their wives and those women who are legally in their possession, for in that case they shall not be blame-worthy; but those, who go beyond this shall be the transgressors; who are true to their promises; and WHO STRICTLY GUARD THEIR PRAYERS. These are the heirs who will inherit Paradise, and will dwell therein forever.

The importance and significance of prayers in the sight of Allah can be determined by the fact that when He lists the above qualities and characteristics of a believer who will inherit Paradise, He starts the list with prayers and ends it with prayers!

Beloved Brother, in truth only those who sincerely love Allah with their heart and soul, who have made it their mission of life to earn their Lord’s Pleasure and Good Will, and who sincerely fear the consequences of their Lord’s displeasure and Anger will be able to perform this and other prescribed duties laid upon them by their Lord on a regular and constant basis.

One should realize that if all the human beings and everything in creation constantly worshipped Allah, it would not add, enhance or make even an iota of a difference in The Lord’s Majesty and Honor; and if all the human beings and everything in creation were to disobey their Lord, it would not reduce, decrease or diminish or make even an iota of difference in the Lord’s Majesty and Honor….for He is Self-Sufficient, Self-Praiseworthy and free of all needs from any in His creation!

It is us, His humble, needy, desperate, lowly, and fearing slaves who need to develop a constant link with our Lord Creator….and all Praise is due to our Lord Most Merciful who has given us this opportunity to establish our link with Him and assemble collectively in prayer to Remember Him, Praise Him and Glorify Him at least five times every day of our adult life!

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 9 Surah Taubah verses 111-112:

111 Allah hath purchased of the believers their persons and their goods; for theirs (in return) is the Garden (of Paradise)! They fight in His Cause and slay and are slain: a promise binding on Him in Truth through the Law, the Gospel, and the Qur'an: and who is more faithful to his covenant than Allah? Then rejoice in the bargain which ye have concluded: that is the Achievement Supreme.

112 Those that turn (to Allah) in repentance: that serve Him and praise Him; that wander in devotion to the Cause of Allah; that bow down and prostrate themselves in prayer; that enjoin good and forbid evil; and observe the limits set by Allah; (these do rejoice). So proclaim the glad tidings to the Believers!

Allah is our witness brother, nothing but sorrow and regret will be the lot of the person on that Tumultuous and Inevitable Day of Judgment, who did not fear Allah nor strived to live within His prescribed limits in this short and transitory life, but with his won hands exchanged the Eternal and Everlasting Gardens of Paradise for the unending pits of Hell….

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 74 Surah Muddaththir verses 41-48:

(The people of Paradise) will ask the culprits (of Hell Fire), “What has brought you into Hell?” The culprits will reply, “We were not of those who offered the salaat, and we did not feed the poor, and we used to join with those who indulged in idle talk against the Truth, and we used to belie the Day of Judgment. Till the Inevitable (death and the Day of Judgment) overtook us!”

Amongst the absolute first things that will be brought to question and account by Allah on the Day of Judgment will be prayers; and the unfortunate ones who do not pass this trial will be due for a heavy and difficult accounting indeed!

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan