Abusive husband
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's
Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
DEAR BROTHER IN ISLAM,
ASSALAM O ALAIKUM WA
First of all, I would like to thank to Allah, because of Him, I
had this life, and save from the miserable life. I am thankful to Him due to
His grace, kindness and mercy, that I have a second chance to live my life in
good manner. I don’t know whether He also forgive me for all sins I
committed in past, but I truly believe and have faith on Him that he will give
His forgiveness. He is the one who strengthened me and encouraged me to
accept whatever future I will face when I say yes to marry my husband. And though I felt that it is so pain to see
that I had to hear regret so often for become his wife and blamed for every un
comfort moment he face in
our daily life.
Being not beautiful, sort, and less of attractive, is not what I
wish to be born. All is Allah known what is best for me, or why He create me
like this. I have no complain about it but my husband did. We are from
different race and marriage because He willing to, no force from my side. His
parents also already bless our marriage and Allah bless us with two
beautiful daughters.
Every thing I thought that my husband happy the way I am.
Accept me, love me, and not feeling shame, or burden for me. But I
was wrong I only dreamed and He is so much regret with this marriage and
feeling shame to even walk together with me. I know that life is not easy
and Allah always put us on trial and we have to win from trial and get reward
from it.
But shall I listen and get treatment like this all my life from my
own husband, what should I do ?………. He also disgrace my parents
because He said that my parents can’t teach something good for my daughters and
he don’t want to see my daughters near to my parents. He is my husband to
whom I should listen and obey but I don’t want to hurt my parents as
well. Can
you help me for all the above matter, ???
PLEASE REPLY ME
ALLAH HAFIEZ
SISTER IN ISLAM
(There
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Answer:
In the
name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness.
Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray,
none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no
person, no grave, no prophet, no imam,
no dai, nobody!) worthy of
worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His
slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 128: If a wife fears
cruelty or desertion on her husband's part there is no blame on them if they
arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best;
even though men's souls are swayed by greed.
But if ye do good and practice self-restraint Allah is well-acquainted
with all that ye do.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 19: O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their
will. Nor should ye treat them with
harshness that ye may take away part of the dower ye have given them except
where they have been guilty of open lewdness.
On the contrary, live with them on a footing of kindness and
equity. If ye take a dislike to them, it
may be that ye dislike a thing and Allah brings about through it a great deal
of good.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 1740 Narrated
by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘A believer does not taunt, curse, abuse
or talk indecently.
Your
Question: But shall I listen and get treatment like this all my life from my
own husband, what should I do ?……….
Allah
Subhanah has commanded the believing man to respect and honor his wife. If the husband taunts or abuses his wife for
no valid reason, he shall have a severe accounting in the Court of Allah
Subhanah on an Inevitable Day.
My
beloved and dear sister in Islam, Allah Subhanah is well Aware of the condition
of all His slaves. Under the
circumstances related by you, you have basically three options:
With
patience and wisdom, try to instill the fear of Allah in your husband, so that
he may fulfill his duties and responsibilities laid upon him by his Creator.
Bear the
injustice done with you with extreme patience, and seek your reward from the
Lord Most Merciful in the Hereafter.
If after
everything, nothing works; then the absolute last option would be to initiate a
divorce and there would be no sin upon you.
May Allah
Subhanah make your trial easy for you, and guide your husband to be kind and
merciful towards you. May Allah Subhanah
grant you patience and the courage to face your trial, and reward you
generously for your patience from His Unending Bounty and Grace in this world
and the Hereafter.
Whatever
written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance,
and whatever of error is of me. Allah
Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,
Burhan
Wister