Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

I have recently heard that love is Haraam in Islam. We can only love Allah. It is true that always Allah comes first but can`t we love someone else. Is love before marriage also haraam though we are going to get married to the same person. Kindly advise. 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Love Allah and no one else

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your statement: I have recently heard that love is Haraam in Islam. We can only love Allah. It is true that always Allah comes first but can`t we love someone else.

The faculty and ability to love is bestowed by the Merciful Lord in the nature of man! It is absolutely natural for a human being to love his parents, his family, his near relatives, his friends, his land, his wealth, etc. There is absolutely no harm in exercising this natural ability of man, which is nothing more than a mercy from the Merciful Lord; provided man knows and realizes the limits of exercising this ‘love’!

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verses 14-15:

14 Fair in the eyes of men is the love of things they covet: women and sons; heaped-up hoards of gold and silver; horses branded (for blood and excellence); and (wealth of) cattle and well-tilled land. Such are the possessions of this world's life; but in nearness to Allah is the best of the goals (to return to).

15 Say: shall I give you glad tidings of things far better than those? For the righteous are gardens in nearness to their Lord with rivers flowing beneath; therein is their eternal home; with companions pure (and holy) and the good pleasure of Allah. For in Allah's sight are (all) His servants.

Allah Subhanah, being our Creator and the Creator of everything in existence, demands that we love Him and His Messenger (saws), more than anything in existence! One may love anything one covets, but when it comes to preferring one love over another, Allah Subhanah demands it as a condition of faith that His Believing Slaves love Him and His Messenger (saws) above everything else!

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 165 (part): Those of faith love Allah most ardently.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imran verse 31-32:O Prophet, tell the people, “If you sincerely love Allah, follow me. Then Allah will love you and forgive you your sins, for He is All Forgiving, All Merciful.” Also say to them, “Obey Allah and His Messenger.” And if, in spite of this, they do not accept your invitation, warn them that Allah does not love those, who refuse to obey Him and His Messenger.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.13 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said, "By Him in Whose Hands my life is (Allah Subhanah), none of you will have faith till he loves me more than his father and his children."

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.15 Narrated by Anas

The Prophet (saws) said, "Whoever possesses the following three qualities will have tasted the sweetness (delight) of faith:

1. The one to whom Allah and His Messenger becomes dearer than anything else.

2. Who loves a person and he loves him only for Allah's sake.

3. Who hates to revert to Atheism (disbelief) as he hates to be thrown into the fire."

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.66 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "If Allah loves a person, He calls Gabriel saying: 'Allah loves so and so; O Gabriel, love him.' Gabriel would love him, and then Gabriel would make an announcement among the residents of the Heaven, 'Allah loves so-and-so, therefore, you should love him also.' So, all the residents of the Heavens would love him and then he is granted the pleasure of the people of the earth."

Thus, in light of the above guidance and teachings of Allah and His Messenger (saws), it is only natural to love one’s family, and wealth, and one’s land, etc.; but our biggest love must be reserved for Allah, His Messenger (saws), and for the Cause of Islam.

If ever there is a clash in our hearts between our love for Allah Subhanah, His Messenger (saws), the striving in the Cause of Islam, and anything else in existence, no matter what and who it is; the believers must opt and choose Allah and His Messenger (saws) above all else!

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 9 Surah Taubah verse 24: Say (O Prophet) : “ If it be that your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your mates, or your kindred; the wealth that ye have gained; the commerce in which ye fear a decline; or the dwellings in which ye delight, are dearer to you than Allah, or His Messenger, or the striving in His Cause; then wait until Allah brings about His decision: and Allah guides not the rebellious.

Your statement: Is love before marriage also haraam though we are going to get married to the same person.

Islam absolutely encourages ‘love before marriage’, so that the people who are going to spend a whole life together would be encouraged to be married to each other. The Messenger of Allah (saws) permitted the believing man who intends to marry a woman to see, meet and talk to her in the presence of her mehram; so that he may be encouraged to seek her hand in marriage.

But to take this Islamic concept of ‘love before marriage’ and use it as a license to form illicit relationships with a member of the opposite sex, or meet alone in private, or talk alone in private, etc. is absolutely forbidden!

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3118 Narrated by Umar ibn al-Khattab

The Prophet (saws) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman, the Devil makes a third."

We live in times today, where unfortunately the term ‘love-marriage’ is completely distorted out of its context, and means to state a relationship where the boy and girl form an illicit secret relationship, meet and talk to each other for months or years in private, etc. before they bind each other in marriage! The way the current term ‘love-marriage’ is used and advertised, connotes and implies that all the marriages which did not start with such illicit secret relationships were as if ‘hate-marriages’!!!

Islam absolutely encourages the concept of ‘love-marriages’ or ‘love-before-marriage’, provided one fears Allah Subhanah and respects the boundaries laid down by Allah and His Messenger (saws).

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan