College boyfriend girl friend

 

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Asalamualaikum, I have been have an issue that I have been making alot of dua to allah s.w.t. to help relieve. Initially My iman (faith) was really good alhum. I was constantly going for fajr prayer (masjid is 20 minutes away) every single day, I am a college student with a heavy load but I still managed to go to fajr prayer every day. I stopped listening to music and started listening to islamic lectures which have given me alot of knowledge alhum. But now i have been facing an issue for the past 7 months that I cannot overcome and It is bringing my Iman down, it has already brought it down. I dont go to fajr prayer anymore and I feel like my heart is being hardened. (BEFORE you read this I am truely sorry for this question because I know alot of it is haram and I am still doing the haram thing even tho I know its haram. I hope allah swt will forgive me) This may be a very bad question or help to ask but I ask allah swt for forgiveness because I just want answers and help My issue is that Their are these two girls that I know, they are both cousins, they are muslim. Both of them like me as in; willing to marry me. Initially I like Cousin A which is of the same age as me. Cousin A introduced me to Cousin B. Cousin B, after sometime told me that she would be willing to marry me in the future as we got older. So I told Cousin B that I TOO like her also. After some time cousin B told me that her Cousin, Cousin A liked me initially and she would want to marry me. Cousin B doesnt want to tell Cousin A that she likes me because that would create Madness between the familes. ( I am very sorry to ask this or tell this dumb story to you, I just want to express the situation I am in) anyways.. After some time Me and Cousin B would talk more and more because we were thinking me and her will get married in the future, but I STILL HAVE DEEP FEELINGS FOR COUSIN A which make me wonder if our relationship (me and Cousin B) would even work, or If i would ever stop liking cousin B. While I am with Cousin B I have been doing haram things like watching adultery and after watching adultery I ask allah swt for alot of forgiveness and I start crying and hoping that this curse of adultery will leave me soon. Me and Cousin B have been getting more and more closer and I have been giving her causal hugs which I know is very bad. I dont want to end the relationship with Cousin B because of how hurt and bad she will get, she has a very soft heart and it would completely ruin her If i told her we cannot talk anymore ever again until we are married. I just WISH i never said "I like you too" to her initially. I am afraid that If I break up with her than I will not be able to marry her in the future. I am also afraid that If I break up with her than many people will dislike me and my reputation at my college will be ruined because we have not told people that we are per-say "together" (or boyfriend girlfriend). I am also afraid that she will tell her cousin A that we were "together" and her cousin that I also do like, wont like me anymore and will also hate me. My Questions to this is: 1. How do I get out of this situation?, what can I do in the meantime with Cousin B? that maybe when time passes by allah swt will find an open door that maybe I can marry Cousin B if she is the one for me or not? I like both of Cousin A and B, I just need help and guidance and only allah swt knows. Maybe this is a test because I remember that LAST YEAR i made alot of dua that allah swt finds me a girl that i can marry and hoping she will be the best looking and I feel like allah has given me TWO of the best in my whole college. 2. The girls families know alot about me and they too also like me but I dont want to marry a person that I wont truely like in the future.Because I still do like Cousin A but I am boyfriend/girlfriend with Cousin B. How do I handle that? 3. I Know all of this is haram but I dont know what to do, Now adays in our generation it is very hard. EVeryone one has someone that They are "with" ( boyfriend girlfriend) or everyone is talking to someone that they like and soon will marry. I just want some guidence with this. I know boyfriend/girlfriend is very haram but I just want some help on how to get out of it and lower my gaze and increase my Iman on what it used to be because I remember that used to be a good feeling. Thank you JK. I hope you help me with my issue according to the Quran and Sunnat, I have been making constant dua for the last 4 months on this issue.

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Answer:

College boyfriend girl friend

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Brother since you know what you are doing is haraam, we will not get into the details.

First of all you should make sincere taubah and make a solemn promise never to meet any girl casually. If you are serious in wanting to marry someone, you should approach their guardian and ask for their hand in marriage like a true Muslim man. What you have been doing is putting yourself in a great trial and in that situation you have been neglecting your obligatory prayers for which you will be held severely accountable on the inevitable Day of Judgement.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is only ones. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brothers and well wishers in Islam,

 

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