Wife not cooperating
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's
Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Asalam o Alaikum,
i want to ask a question Burhan brother, i m a boy of about 26 years old and i
m married to one of my cousins. before marriage my cousin was interested in
somebody else and she want to do everything to marry with that boy but her family
did not accept it and pressurize her to marry with me i.e her cousin. before
marriage i knew everything about it n i intended to marry to such a girl as a
good deed. i confirmed before marriage is she willing and she showed her
positive sign now i married n she does not cooperate with me n she has forgot
every promise of before marriage n she is still ignoring me constantly. i have
informed her n my family but she has no effect of these people at all. now i m
in delima what should i do with such a girl who does not accept me n does not
fulfill my desires as if i touch to her she says dont touch me and be far from
me.
thanks.
(There
may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum
does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from
our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
Answer:
In the
name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness.
Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray,
none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no
person, no grave, no prophet, no imam,
no dai, nobody!) worthy of
worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His
slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah Rum verse 21: And of
Allah’s Sign is that He has created for you wives from your own species, so that you may find peace with them, and (Allah has) created love and mercy
between you. Surely in this there are
many Signs for those who reflect.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34: Men are
the managers of the affairs of women because Allah has made the one superior to
the other, and because men spend of
their wealth on women. Virtuous women
are , therefore, obedient (to their
husbands); and they guard in his absence what Allah would have them guard
(their honor, their property, etc.)
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3254 Narrated
by Anas ibn Malik
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When a woman observes the
five times of prayer, fasts during
Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 286 Narrated
by Umm Salamah
The Prophet (saws) said:
“If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 287 Narrated
by Mu'adh ibn Jabal
The Prophet (saws) said:
“Whenever a woman causes annoyance and torture to her husband in this
world, his mate from among the Hoors of Paradise says to her: ‘May Allah ruin
thee, do not cause thy husband annoyance; for he is only thy guest, and will soon leave thee to join us in
Paradise.’
Your
Question: now i m in delima what should i do with such a girl who does not
accept me n does not fulfill my desires as if i touch to her she says dont
touch me and be far from me.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 4.460 Narrated
by Abu Huraira
The Messenger of Allah (saws) said, "If a husband calls his
wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him
to sleep in anger, the Angels will curse her till morning."
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.122 Narrated
by Abu Huraira
The Prophet (saws) said, "If a woman spends the night
deserting her husband's bed (does not sleep with him), then the Angels send
their curses on her till she comes back (to her husband)."
It does
not behove a believing woman, who fears Allah and the Last Day, to refuse or
rebuke her husband.
Dear and
beloved brother, you should talk to your wife with patience and wisdom, and try
to invite her to fear Allah and make her understand the rights that Allah
Subhanah has granted a husband and a wife in the sacred bond of marriage. If after your best efforts, you feel that
there is absolutely no improvement in her behavior and acceptance towards you;
it would be best to divorce such a woman and there would be absolutely no sin
upon you. If Allah Subhanah Wills and
Pleases, He will bestow you a righteous wife, who will fear Allah Subhanah and
give her husband his due rights.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.27 Narrated
by Abu Huraira
The Prophet (saws) said, "A woman is married for four
things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So
you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser."
Whatever
written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance,
and whatever of error is of me. Allah
Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,
Burhan