Can one marry abused girl?
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's
Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Asalamalakum!
Dear brother Burhan
You done and great work and I really admire your efforts and pray to Allah to
increase his blessing many folds on you and your endeavors. Burhan I dont know
if this question is related to Islam or not, but this is the questions which I
cant ask any body and right now I need help and advice, from some body who can
guide me in right way.
My question or you can say my problem is I love some body from last 7years and
she also loved me now very much, and nowadays we are planning to get married
but before few days back I heard some thing about her childhood, her father
used to watch XXX movies (I am talking about her childhood) and her mother is
also working lady, and they are 1 brothers and 2 sisters, when her mother and
father use to go for their jobs they all use to watch these XXX movies, not
just watching movies she and her sister get involved doing same thing what they
watched in movies, I think the physical relation between them the keep it for 6
months, and the other thing when she went for sleep her brother came to her
bed, at that time she used to wear nighty, he her brother pull up her nighty
and he tried to do sex with her (like in the movies, but she clamed at that
time when her brother came to her bed she pretend to sleep, her brother did
this for 4 months ( I mean this sex or trying to do sex) , at that time her age
was 14, and for avoid this evil thing she start sleeping on her tummy, now I am
confused what to do I should marry her or leave her and get marry with other
woman ( I love her so much and I am very good friend of her and all these
things she told me about her child hood) I am also afraid if some thing
happened between her and me after marriage ( I mean fight or some thing I will
get angry or start saying about her past and also I cant face her family I cant
tolerate then and about her brother I want to kill him, please advice me what
should I do, she said she want and she will leave her family and after marry
their wont be any relationship between us and she said she wont marry with any
body else, and if I want to leave her I can she wont force me please advice me
I will be really grateful
( if any body else want to advice me my mail address is
(xxxxx@hotmail.com)
Your brother of Islam
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Answer:
In the
name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness.
Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray,
none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no
person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of
worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His
slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Your
Question: now I am confused what to do I should marry her or leave her and get
marry with other woman.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54: (O
Prophet) say: O My servants who have wronged their own souls
.Do not despair
of Allahs Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before
the scourge overtakes you; for then you
may get no help from anywhere.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse
135-136: Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong
their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask
for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly
persist in the wrongs they did. These
will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do
good deeds!
Beloved
and dear Brother in Islam, if the girl has sincerely repented to Allah Subhanah
for her deeds she did in ignorance in her past, and you can bring yourself to
understand and erase from your memory these evil episodes of her past life;
there is absolutely no harm if you wish to marry her.
If you
really feel and think that you cannot accept her past, and when triggered or
angered you might bring out her past in an argument; then it would be best if
you did not marry the girl and looked for another to marry, as it might
severely effect your relationship in your married life with this girl. But if you feel that you can accept her past
as her past, and believe that she has done her sincere repentance to Allah
Subhanah for her deeds done in her ignorance, there is absolutely no harm in
marrying the woman.
Sahih Muslim Hadith 6518 Narrated
by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: He who alleviates the suffering
of a brother from the affections of the world, Allah will alleviate his
affections from the sufferings of the Day of Resurrection. He who finds relief
for one who is hard pressed, Allah will make things easy for him in the
Hereafter, and he who conceals (the faults) of a Muslim, Allah would
conceal his faults in the world and in the Hereafter. Allah is at the
back of a servant so long as the servant is at the back of his brother.
Beloved
and dear Brother in Islam, every person has a past, and it is possible that
each of us might have done deeds in the past which we are extremely ashamed and
sincerely repentant of! When Allah
Subhanah has, in His Sublime Mercy and Grace, covered or veiled our past from
becoming public knowledge, we should not strive to uncover and unveil what
Allah Subhanah has veiled from our past.
Whatever
written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance,
and whatever of error is of me. Allah
Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,
Burhan