Difficulties encountered by a woman who wears hijaab
My problem is that i recently began wearing hijab. in my city there are very few women who wear this and my town is very small. i am newly convert to islam and african american, my husband is pakistani and we have been married 4 yrs. he does not seem to like the fact that i am wearing hijab. he does not want to go out in public with me wearing this. i dont know what to do..this is very hard for me to wear it but this is something that i know i must do , for we all have to make our own path to paradise. should i consider divorce, because my religion is very seriouse to me. my husband does prayer only at masjid on fridays, and i am constantly into my islam. this problem causes me to cry often..if you are able.
Praise be to Allaah.
First of all, we would like to congratulate you for having been guided by Allaah to embrace Islam, the true and final religion. I ask Allaah to help us and you remain steadfast in adhering to it until we die.
I give you the glad tidings of the words that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to the Sahaabah: “There will come a time when patience is required of the one who adheres (to Islam), and he will have the reward of fifty of you.” They said, “Of them?” He said, “No, of you.”
(Narrated by Ibn Nasr; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilat al-Saheehah, 494)
Before you think of divorce, try to play the role of a daa’iyah, calling your husband and those around you to Islam. This will benefit others and help you to remain steadfast. You have an example of that in the righteous believing women such as Umm al-Mu’mineen (the Mother of the Believers) Khadeejah (may Allaah be pleased with her), who played a great role in making the heart of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) remain firm and steadfast when his mission began. Whenever he mentioned her after she had died, he would praise her in glowing terms, as was narrated by ‘Aa’ishah who said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) mentioned Khadeejah one day, and he praised her highly.”
(Musnad al-Imam Ahmad, 24684; classed as hasan by al-Haythami in al-Majma’)
Another example is Umm Sulaym (may Allaah be pleased with her). Abu Talhah [who was not yet a Muslim at that time] proposed marriage to her, and she said: “By Allaah, O Abu Talhah, a man like you is not to be refused, but you are a kaafir man and I am a Muslim woman. It is not permissible for me to marry you, but if you become Muslim, that will be my mahr (dowry).” So he became Muslim, and that was her mahr.
(Narrated by al-Nasaa’i, 3341; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Nasaa’i, 3133)
So start – may Allaah help you – by calling your husband and convincing him by all kinds of means to adhere to Islam and its obligations, such as prayer, wearing hijaab, etc, especially since he is already Muslim. Calling one’s husband is one of the ways that lead to Paradise.
I hope that Allaah will guide your husband through your sincere advice. Also make a lot of du’aa’ for him. If after some time you do not see any improvement, or you think that you will be able to find someone to marry who is better than this husband, then think of divorce. This is only if this man is negligent about his prayers, praying sometimes and not at other times. But if he has forsaken prayer altogether and does not even pray on his own, then it is not permissible for you to stay with him, because forsaking prayer constitutes disbelief in Allaah.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The covenant that stands between us and them is prayer; whoever gives it up is a kaafir.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2621; al-Nasaa’i, 463 and others. It is a saheeh report. Al-Mishkaat, 574)
And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Between a man and shirk and kufr, there stands his giving up prayer.”
(Narrated by Muslim, 82).
For yourself, be patient in adhering to hijaab even though it may be difficult. How much did our examples, the men and women of the Sahaabah, suffer for the sake of Allaah; we suffer only a fraction of what they suffered. This is the path to Paradise. For Hell is surrounded with whims and desires and Paradise is surrounded with difficulties.
Be certain that hijaab is only difficult because it is new to you. If you are patient and have faith, this difficulty will fade – in sha Allaah – and it will become easy and you will become comfortable with the hijaab. If you remember the reward, that which is difficult will become easier.
The fact that you are wearing hijaab even though you find it difficult is a sign that your faith is strong.
I ask Allaah to make us and you steadfast in adhering to the religion. Ameen.