Marry a widow.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Dear brother Burhan, i would like you to answer me personaly, few years before when i used to be in college infatuation took place but due to untward circumstances we had to part, i didnt take it seriously, few months before i came to know about the sudden demise of her husband, at a young age, she has a son of 4 yrs, i am still a bachelor working in dubai, sometimes i mail to her as she is very much disturbed, can i marry her, if i marry what will be my responsibilities towards her son, way back home they are sending me proposals, please brother remember me in ur orisons, as i am very much confused, hope you would answer me soon, it has been since many days i am not receiving mails from ur side, please keep in touch,
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Marry a widow
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Question: ….few months before i came to know about the sudden demise of her husband,
at a young age, she has a son of 4 yrs, i am still a bachelor working in
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 5 (part):
….(Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers but chaste women amongst the ‘People of the Book’ revealed before your time when ye give them their due dowers and desire chastity not lewdness nor secret intrigues. If anyone rejects faith fruitless is his work and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who are losers.
Respected brother in Islam, as long as the widowed woman you wish to marry is from amongst the believers or a Jew or a Christian, and she has fulfilled the waiting period of ‘iddah’ at the death of her husband (which is four months and ten days in Shariah), you are well within your rights and options in Islam to seek her hand in marriage.
Your Question: ….if i marry what will be my responsibilities towards her son
According to Shariah Law, you would have no legal or moral responsibility towards the son of your wife from another marriage, nor would the son of your wife have any legal or moral responsibility towards the man whom his mother choses to marry.
The child will always be recognized by the name of his own biological father; he will inherit from his mother, and his mother will inherit from him. You as the step-father will neither inherit from the son of your wife, nor would the son of your wife inherit from you.
But if you wed the widowed mother of a four year old child, fear Allah, and strive your absolute utmost to develop and maintain cordial relations with your orphan step-son, Allah is our witness brother, you would have a generous reward in the Presence of your Lord on that Inevitable Day of Judgment.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 177:
177 It is not righteousness that ye turn your faces toward East or West; but it is righteousness to believe in Allah, and the Last Day, and the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers; to spend of your substance out of love for Him for your kin, for orphans, for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask, and for the ransom of slaves; to be steadfast in prayer and practice regular charity; to fulfill the contracts which ye have made; and to be firm and patient in pain (or suffering) and adversity and throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the Allah-fearing.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 215:
215 They ask thee (O Prophet (saws) what they should spend (in charity). Say: ‘Whatever ye spend that is good is for parents and kindred and orphans and those in want and for wayfarers. And whatever ye do that is good Allah Knows it well.’
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 36:
36 Serve Allah and join not any partners with Him: and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbors who are near, neighbors who are strangers, the companion by your side, the way-farer (ye meet), and what your right hands possess: for Allah loves not the arrogant, the vainglorious.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 78 Surah Dhahr verses 5-11:
5 As to the Righteous they shall drink of a Cup (of Pure Wine) mixed with ‘Kafur’
6 A Fountain where the devotees of Allah do drink, making it flow in unstinted abundance.
7 They perform (their) vows, and they fear a Day whose evil flies far and wide.
8 And they feed for the love of Allah the indigent, the orphan, and the captive
9 (Saying) "We feed you for the sake of Allah Alone: No reward do we desire from you nor thanks.
10 We only fear a Day of distressful Wrath from the side of our Lord."
11 But Allah will deliver them from the evil of that Day, and will shed over them a light of Beauty and a (Blissful) Joy.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4974 Narrated by Abu Umamah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "If anyone strokes an orphan's head, doing so only for Allah's Sake, he will have blessings for every hair over which his hand passes; and if anyone treats well an orphan girl or boy under his care, he and I (Prophet Mohamed (saws)) shall be like these two in Paradise," putting two of his fingers together!
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4973 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "The best house among the Muslims is one which contains an orphan who is well treated, and the worst house among the Muslims is one which contains an orphan who is badly treated."
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.34 Narrated by Sahl bin Sad
The Prophet (saws) said, "I and the person who looks after an
orphan and provides for him, will be in
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,