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How can i encourage my husband to help around the business and house

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)


One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

My husband is very loving but he does not share any business, financial or family issues with me. He discusses them with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law and every one in the family but no with me. They all sit together and discuss which i am not a part of this really disturbs me and we have fights. Please help.


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Husband does not share with wife business issues

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.


Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34: Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means.  Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard (their property, their chastity, their honor, etc.)


While Islam has laid several responsibilities and duties upon the believing men as a test in the life of this world (financial, physical, governance, jihad, etc) for an entry into Paradise; Allah Subhanah has balanced the test of duties and responsibilities of the believing women for their entry into Paradise with one supreme responsibility that is equivalent to all the duties of the man!  If the believing woman is successful in this one test, she has been promised Paradise!  And that test of the believing woman is: earning the satisfaction of her husband!


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3254        Narrated by Anas ibn Malik

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When a woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the Gates of Paradise she wishes."


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272        Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

When Allah's Messenger (saws) was asked which woman was best, he (saws) replied, "The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves."


In light of the guidance of the Quran and the Sunnah, any wife who sincerely wishes to have peace, tranquility, harmony, love and mercy between herself and her husband must be devoutly obedient to her husband!  


Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah Rum verse 21: And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); Verily, in that are Signs for those who reflect.


Sister if your husband is loving you should be grateful and thank Allah swt for all His favors bestowed upon you. It does not behove one who believes in Allah swt as Her Lord to create fitnah by demanding that her husband discuss matters of business etc., if he does not want to discuss with you even though he discusses with others in the house.


It is the duty and responsibility of the believing women to figure out what exactly pleases her husband and strive to do those deeds; and ascertain what displeases her husband and absolutely abstain from doing those deeds!   My dear beloved Sister, you are required as a believer to ensure that your husband is always pleased with you. You should practice patience and perseverance in co-habiting with your in-laws and sisters in law and try your best to keep the peace and harmony of your husband's house intact.


You will get no benefit if you pester your husband to discuss business matters if he does not wish to do so.

If you create disturbance in your married life for little things then you alone will be responsible for the consequences. Your husband is not required to discuss what he does not want to discuss with you.


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 286         Narrated by Umm Salamah

The Prophet (saws) said: If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Paradise.


Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is only ones. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.


Your brother and well wisher in Islam,



Members of Islamhelpline


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