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Despair depression lost hope in life

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

As-Salam-o-Alaikum,

 

I`m 25 year old male from Toronto, Canada who gave up with lfie due to continuos failure in no matter what I do.

 

Due to this I forgot suras from Kuraan e Kareem and Duas. Also I perform prayers 5 times a day but when I start praying sahitan misguides me and I think i`m praying but im actually rpetending to be praying (aka sajde tekna).

 

Background:

 

I grew up in Saudi Arabia (15 years) and memorized so many duas, hadith, Islamic stories and hifz about 2.5 paras of Quran e Kareem (Juz 29, 30, Sura Rahman, Yaseen Sharif) until the age of 14.

 

But then I don`t know what happened when I stopped taking classes from Maulana sahab (Ustaad) at the age of 14. I stopped revising Suras and start forgeting them and in namaz only used to recite easy ones.

 

At the age of 15 I migrated to Canada with parents. I was in grade nine (metric) at that time. High school was the time so I can build a strong foudation to pursue a post secondary education.

 

I graduated from High school/grade 12 (Inter) with just passing marks and then went to colleeg to study Computer Science at the age of 19. But since my base was not strong, I started failing and end up dropping out of that program at the age of 20.

 

Then after a semester off at the age of 21, I enrolled in an Accounting program which was not really what I wanted to do but the reson of enetring that program was to find an easy way out.

 

After 3 yrs at the age of 23, I was terminated from that program due to continuos failure.

 

After that I took courses to get certified in Finance and IT so I can start a career that way but failed them as well and now at the age of 25 I gave up with my life and working at Retail store at a minimum wage.

 

My parents are also forced to lie about my studies that I graduated from college to avoid humuliation/insult in family since when people asked "why are you going to Canada after having good salary in Saudi Arabia and living in such a holy place?" My parents told people it is so our kids can get bright future.

 

Now all my cousins and kids of family friends have university degrees and good jobs and I am lying that I finished college and working low end store job.

 

No matetr what I ever i do with my life I end up failing and due to that I even end up trying since last year.

 

please guide me and let me know what should I do according to sunnat and hadith to ask forgiveness from Allah tallah and acheive success and sukoon in life and harjana for forgetting 2.5 paras of Quran and pretending prayers.

 

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Answer:

 

Despair depression lost hope in life

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

I`m 25 year old male from Toronto, Canada who gave up with lfie due to continuos failure in no matter what I do.  

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 21 Surah Anbiyaa verse 35:

35      Every soul shall have a taste of death: and We test you by evil and by good (only) by way of trial: to Us must ye return.

 

Fiqh-us-Sunnah Fiqh 4.1

Abu Hurairah narrates that the Prophet (saws) said: "When Allah wants to be good to someone, He tries him with some hardship."

 

The Guidance of Islam declares that the short and transitory life of this world, where one is put through good and evil conditions, is but a mere test and a place to do deeds!  At the end of this short test of one life-time, all will be returned back to their Lord Creator who Will Decide with justice who amongst His creation passed His given test, and who amongst them failed it!

 

Dear and beloved Brother in Islam, whatever the state or condition of the trials you might find yourself in, know with total and absolute conviction that your state is no more than a trial and test from your Lord Most Gracious..so that He may determine who amongst the sons of Adam are grateful when bestowed with His Favors, and who amongst them are ungrateful and impatient.

 

The life of this short and transitory world is simply not the place to exult in ones abundance or to despair in ones miserythe real place where one will be in perpetual bliss or in an eternal state of desperation and helplessness is only in the Hereafter!

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 41 Surah Haa Meem verse 49:

49      Man does not weary of asking for good (things), but if (some) evil touches him, he gives up all hope (and) is lost in despair.

  

Dear and beloved brother in Islam, perpetual depression and desperation is only for those who deny their Lord Creator and the Last Day; for it is they who despair of the Unending and Infinite Mercy of the Lord Who Created!  A believer who sincerely believes in Allah and the Last Day can never never ever despair of the Mercy and the Grace of their Lord Most Merciful.

 

Thus, in absolute awe, and fear, and in humility, one should always beg their Lord Most Gracious to not lay upon them a trial or burden greater than they can bear, make their trials easy for them, and give them the strength and the steadfastness to bear the trials which their Lord Most Merciful has chosen for them.


 

Keep your complete trust and belief in your Lord Creator, and whatever trials happen to befall you from your Lord, strive your utmost to bear them with patience and perseverance in the ardent belief that your Lord is Watching closely all that you do.  At every stage and moment of your life, strive your utmost to bring your Lord to remembrance, unconditionally submit your will unto His, and at all times and in all conditions beseech and implore your Lord Most Gracious, in utter humility, awe, fear, and hope to bestow you with patience, and perseverance, and constancy and at all times keep your full trust in Allah swt.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah Ahzaab verse 3:

3        And put thy trust in Allah and enough is Allah as a Disposer of (all) affairs.

  

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 65 Surah Talaq verse 3:

3        And He (Allah) provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine.  And if anyone puts his trust in Allah sufficient is (Allah) for him.  For Allah will surely accomplish His purpose: verily for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion.

 

Beloved Brother, we remind you as we remind ourselves, that no matter whatever condition and state you find yourself in in the life of this world, never never never ever despair of the Mercy of your Lord Most Merciful.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumar verses 53-54:

53      Say: "O my servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful.

54      Turn ye to your Lord (in repentance) and bow to His (Will) before the penalty comes on you: after that ye shall not be helped.

 

Due to this I forgot suras from Kuraan e Kareem and Duas.

Hadrat Abdullah Ibn Umar (r.a.) reported that the Messenger of Allah (saws) said: "The parable of one who knows the Quran by heart is as the parable of an owner of a hobbled camel. If he remains vigilant, he will retain it; and if he neglects it, it will go away.''

Related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim.

 

Dear and beloved brother, the only long term remedy to retain the portions of the Glorious Quran one has secured to ones memory is to constantly and continuously strive to revise, study, and re-study the memorized Surahs as often as one possibly canfor the Messenger of Allah (saws) warned the believers that the Glorious Quran is forgotten from memory faster than the camels which are released from their tying ropes!

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 6.552         Narrated by Abu Musa

The Prophet (saws) said, "Keep on reciting the Quran, for by Him in Whose Hand my life is (Allah Subahnah), the Quran runs away (or is forgotten) faster than camels that are released from their tying ropes."

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 6.459         Narrated by Aisha

The Prophet (saws) said, "Such a person as recites the Quran and masters it by heart, will be with the noble righteous scribes (in Paradise). And such a person who exerts himself to learn the Quran by heart, and recites it with great difficulty, will have a double reward."

 

May Allah Subhanah bless your intention to secure the Quran to memory, and bestow upon you his mercy, and patience, and the courage to fulfill your intention

 

Also I perform prayers 5 times a day but when I start praying sahitan misguides me and I think i`m praying but im actually rpetending to be praying (aka sajde tekna).

Beloved Brother in Islam,  no matter how pious and God-fearing a believer is,  very very few amongst the believers can control their flow of thoughts in their prayers,  for our avowed enemy, the Shaitaan,  always tries to put thoughts into our minds when we offer our prayers.  

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 41 Surah Haa Meem verse 36: And if (at any time) an incitement to discord is made to thee by the Shaytaan, seek refuge in Allah.  He is the One Who Hears and Knows all things.

 

There are a few basic things one can do to minimize these thoughts:

  • Seek the refuge in Allah Subhanah from the accursed Shaitaan,  before starting the prayer.
  • Understand the simple and basic meaning of the prayers,  so that one may try to concentrate on the meanings of what one is beseeching his Merciful Lord when in prayer.
  • Remember that when one is in prayer,  he is actually in audience of the Lord of the Worlds;  and try to bring himself to a state as if he is reciting his prayers in the Presence of his Lord.
  • If one cannot bring himself to that state while in prayer,  he should at least try to remember and know for sure,  that his Lord is watching over him;  for indeed,  Allah Subhanah is All-Seeing,  All Knowing.

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 6.300         Narrated by Abu Huraira

Hadrat Jibrael (a.s.) (who came in the form of a human being)  asked the Messenger of Allah (saws) : , "O Messenger of Allah,  what is Ihsan (i.e. perfection or benevolence)?"   The Prophet (saws) said, "Ihsan is to worship Allah as if you see Him,  and if you do not achieve this state of devotion, then (take it for granted that) Allah sees you."

 

No matetr what I ever i do with my life I end up failing and due to that I even end up trying since last year.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 216:

216    But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you and that ye love a thing which is bad for you.  But Allah Knows and ye know not.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 57 Surah Hadid verses 22-23:

22      No misfortune can happen on earth or in your souls but is recorded in a Decree before We bring it into existence: that is truly easy for Allah.

23      In order that ye may not despair over matters that pass you by, nor exult over favors bestowed upon you.  For Allah loveth not any vainglorious boaster

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 22 Surah Hajj verses 7-10:

7        And verily the Hour will come: there can be no doubt about it or about (the fact) that Allah will raise up all who are in the graves.

8        Yet there is among men such a one as disputes about Allah without knowledge, without guidance, and without a Book of Enlightenment.

9        (Disdainfully) bending his side in order to (lead men) astray from the Path of Allah; for him there is disgrace in this life and on the Day of Judgment we shall make him taste the Penalty of burning (Fire).

10      (It will be said): "This is because of the deeds which thy hands sent forth for verily Allah is never unjust to His servants!

 

Please guide me and let me know what should I do according to sunnat and hadith to ask forgiveness from Allah tallah and acheive success and sukoon in life and harjana for forgetting 2.5 paras of Quran and pretending prayers.

In our humble opinion brother, you need to first and foremost get your act together and start reading the Noble Quran with understanding (with meaning) as much as is easy for you each and every day. You can also read and study the authentic a'hidths to bolster your knowledge. Owing to your background this should not be difficult for you.

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 186:

And if  My servants ask you,  O Prophet, concerning Me,  tell them that I am quite near to them.   I hear and answer the prayer of the suppliant,  when he calls on Me.  So let them respond to My call and believe in Me.  (Convey this to them),  perhaps they may be guided aright!

 

Salman reported that the Prophet (saws), said, "Your Lord, the Blessed and the Exalted One, is Modest and Generous, and He loathes to turn away His servant empty-handed when he raises his hands to Him in supplication."

Narrated by Ahmad and Ibn Hibban.

 

Abu Hurairah reported, "The Prophet (saws) said, "Nothing is more dear to Allah than one's supplication to Him.'' 

Narrated by Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah.

 

All this time you should strictly offer your obligatory prayers and fastings. Also you should always keep company with righteous Muslim men so that your mind will not go haywire and this will ensure you will not commit any sins. You must rest assured that all rizq is from Allah swt alone and whatever He grants you, one should be grateful and ever thankful.

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 13 Surah Raad verse 28-29:

The people who have accepted (the Message),  their hearts find comfort in the remembrance of Allah.  Note it well!, That it is Allahs Remembrance Alone that brings contentment to the hearts!  Blessed are those who have accepted the Message and done righteous deeds.   They will have a good end. 

 

InshaAllah in a short while you will observe a big difference and with the knowledge you will obtain from the Noble Quran you will be able to face all your trials with patience and perseverance.

 

Respected brother in Islam, keep your trust and your belief in the Power and the Qadr of your Lord Most Gracious, Most Merciful.and know and believe with total and absolute conviction that your Lord Most Bounteous is more than Able and Capable of providing you with something that is much better than what you have seemingly thought.

  

In ones ignorance or albeit arrogance, one may be inclined to erroneously believe that ones sustenance perhaps depends on ones level of qualification or ones experienceif one merely takes a cursory look at those around them, one would realize that one who might have absolutely no formal qualification or experience might be the richest person in the world; and one who has a plethora of qualifications and experience is not able to afford two square meals for his family!!!!

 

It is Allah Subhanah Alone Who Decrees the level of sustenance each amongst His creation will receive.and this sustenance is Decreed for each individual when one is still in ones mothers womb!!!

 

Sahih Muslim Hadith 6392 Narrated by Hudhayfah ibn Usayd

The Prophet (saws) said: When the drop of (semen) remains in the womb for forty (days) or forty nights, the Angel comes and says: My Lord, will he be good or evil? And both these things would be written. Then the Angel says: My Lord, would he be male or female? And both these things are written. And his deeds and actions, his death, his sustenance; these are also recorded. Then his document of destiny is rolled and there is no addition to and subtraction from it.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 30:

30 Verily thy Lord does provide sustenance in abundance for whom He Pleases, and (for some) He provides in a just measure: for He does know and regard all His servants.

 

Respected brother, ones sustenance is not a matter of luck or chance, nor is it a result of ones qualifications or experience or intelligence or hard work; the sustenance of each is but what The Lord Most High has Decreed for each individual in the life of this world..to test whether one is grateful or ungrateful.

 

If one constantly looks at those whom the Lord Most Gracious has Decreed with sustenance more than oneself, one would be inclined towards ungratefulness.but if one looks at those whom the Lord Most Gracious has bestowed with sustenance less than oneself, one would be inclined towards being grateful for the favors one has received from ones Lord.

 

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),   one can be assured of never ever being misled;   but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is only ones. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Members of Islamhelpline

 


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