Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Mr Burham

i have a personal question to ask u. what does Islam say about respecting your parents. if your father leaves your mother and marries another women. should you still respect him and keep some kind of relationship with him even though he will not speak to your mother or should you support/backup your mother and finish off all ties with your father. i hope to hear from u soon. 

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Answer:

Father marries another woman

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His  forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Q-1: what does Islam say about respecting your parents.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verses 23-24:

Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him. Treat your parents with great consideration; if either or both of them live with you in their old age, do not say even ‘uff’ to them; nor rebuke them; but speak kind words to them. Treat them with humility and tenderness, and pray, “O our Lord! Be merciful to them just as they brought me up with kindness and affection.”

Time and time again, all over the Quran, after the verses where Allah commands the believers to worship none with Him, the very next verse is to obey our parents! Such is the position and honor Allah has bestowed upon the parents in Islam.

Q-2: if your father leaves your mother and marries another women. should you still respect him and keep some kind of relationship with him even though he will not speak to your mother or should you support/backup your mother and finish off all ties with your father.

Whatever one’s father or mother, or any blood relative may do; it does not behove a believer to break the relations that Allah has made for him. It is a grave sin in the sight of Allah for someone to break his blood relationships.

Besides, Allah has given the permission to a believing man to marry again if he so wills, upto a maximum of four wives at any one time. Thus, if one’s father decides to marry again, we as his obedient children, must accord the same respect and love for our father, as before. His marriage does not and should not change our relationship with our father. Under no circumstances are the believers allowed to break the bonds of relationships, which Allah Subhanah has made for them.

It would be Islamically better, purer and easier for you to accept your father’s decision, and honor and respect his new wife and your step-mother, rather than oppose the decision he has made. Your father is well within his rights to marry again, if he so wills.

It is also your duty to honor and respect and take care of your mother, and try to explain to her that your father has not committed a crime or done anything illegal by choosing to marry again.

But if your father has completely left your mother, and is spending all his time and wealth on his new wife; he is committing a wrong for which he will have to answer Allah Subhanah, on the Day of Judgment. Islam demands that the believers who marry more than one wife, must treat and provide for each of them equally, and justly divide his time between them. If he does not do so, he will have a severe accounting in the Court of Allah on the Day of Judgment.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verses 129-129:

When a women fears ill-treatment or aversion from her husband, there is no harm if the two make peace between themselves (by means of a compromise); after all, peace is the best thing. Human souls are prone to narrow-mindedness, but if you show generosity and fear Allah in your dealings, you may rest assured that Allah will be fully aware of all that you do. It is not within your power to be perfectly equitable in your treatment with all your wives, even if you wish to be so. Therefore (in order to satisfy the dictates of Divine Law) do not lean wholly towards one wife, so as to leave the other in a state of suspense. If you behave righteously and fear Allah, you will find Allah Forgiving and Compassionate.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan