Are women responsible for men staring?
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Assalamalaikum.Dear Brother Burhan. May Allah reward you appropriately for your great services. some of my questions are still waiting to be replied ,i posted them some 50-60 days back but haven`t yet received their answers. i understand your problems and difficulties but still please please please dont take too long in replying back.
my present question is about Hijab. its a very clear Quranic order for Muslim women to cover themselves fully in front of the non mehrem males or when going outside and not to display our beauty openly in front of the public. The problem with me is that i fully understand this Order and also the `Hikmah` behind it. but somehow i dont understand that if i am going somewhere without a proper hijab or `chaddar` but nevertheless i am wearing loose clothes with full sleeves and a proper dupatta and even then some stupid ,idiot man starts ogling at me and starts annoying me ,why would i be held responsible in the hereafter for not wearing a scarf or an outer garment...???????? i think its fully ,wholely and solely that man`s sin that he started ogling at any/every woman who happens to come his way. u know there are a lot of such males who have this nasty habit of annoying innocent girls and women. so do u think that if the woman isn`t wearing a hijab ( but she is pious at heart ) ,she `d be equally involved in the man`s sin ??? and is it so that she became the cause for his sin ??? i think that a God fearing Muslim with Eemaan would never ever annoy any woman and would always follow lowering of the gaze order. The attitude of these damned males makes me Egoistic about taking Hijab. why should i wear an outer garment and a scarf , why do not they lower their gaze and if they annoy me it would be their sin , not mine. i do not intend to provoke their feelings and emotions . they are themselves responsible for their `niyyat` and intention . even without a hijab a Muslim woman should be daring enough to guard her honor and chastity. and even without hijab a woman should be strong enuff to stand against all odds. if indeed she fears Allah swt and the Day of Judjement.
Waiting impatiently for your comments in the light of the Quran and Sunnah
Reply As Soon As Possible.
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
Are women responsible for men staring?
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah Ahzaab verse 59:O Prophet, enjoin your wives and daughters, and the believing women, that they should cast their outer garments over their persons. It is expected that they will thus be recognized, and not molested. Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 24 Surah Nur verse 31: (O Prophet) enjoin the believing woman to restrain their gaze and guard their modesty, and not to display their adornment except that which is displayed of itself, and to draw their veils over their bosoms, and not to display their adornments except before their husbands, their fathers, .and also forbid them to stamp their feet on the ground lest their hidden ornaments should be displayed.
Q-1: but somehow i dont understand that if i am going somewhere without a proper hijab or `chaddar` but nevertheless i am wearing loose clothes with full sleeves and a proper dupatta and even then some stupid ,idiot man starts ogling at me and starts annoying me ,why would i be held responsible in the hereafter for not wearing a scarf or an outer garment...????????
If a woman is appropriately covered according to Shariah, and has guarded her modesty as commanded by Allah Subhanah and His Messenger (saws); and in spite of that some evil man dares to stare, ogle, and bother this righteous woman; the burden of sin will be completely upon him, and the woman will not be held responsible or accountable in the least.
Q-2: so do u think that if the woman isn`t wearing a hijab ( but she is pious at heart ) ,she `d be equally involved in the man`s sin ??? and is it so that she became the cause for his sin ???
Firstly, if a believing woman does not cover herself appropriately as commanded by Allah and His Messenger (saws), she will be guilty of disobeying a clear command of Allah Subhanah and will be held severely accountable for her disobedience in the Court of Allah Subhanah.
If the woman is not covered in accordance with the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws), and some man stares or bothers her; both of them will be considered in sin.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah Al-Ahzaab verse 32-33:O Wives of the Prophet, you are not like the other woman. If you are God-fearing, do not talk in a soft voice lest the man of the diseased heart should cherish false hopes from you, but speak in an unaffected (or business-like) manner. Stay in your houses, and do not go about displaying your fineries as women used to do in the days of jaahileeya (ignorance).
Who is Allah talking to? Some loose women? No, my beloved sister in Islam, Allah is talking to some of the most chaste and purest women who ever walked on this planet earth. He is admonishing the noble wives of our beloved Prophet (saws)! He is commanding some of the purest woman on earth to talk, if needed, firmly to other men; and not to display their fineries in public like in the days of ignorance.
These commands of Allah were revealed to increase the honor, and to protect the believing woman against molestation; and not to subjugate, discriminate, or belittle them in any way. Every believing woman, should indeed consider it an honor to be adorned in the Uniform of Allah!
Allah, in His Divine Wisdom, indicates two reasons why a believing woman should cover herself:
So that she is recognized and
So that she will not be molested!.
Wearing a hijaab is a sort of a red-light or stop-signal to the on-looker. It indicates to him, that the woman wearing the hijaab is not a loose woman, but a pious and God-fearing slave of Allah, so stay away!! The hijab of the believing woman indicates to the onlooker that his stares and comments are not welcome here I am not public property like the other half-naked woman, but I fear Allah and the Last Day.
We agree that not every woman who wears the hijab is pious, and not every woman who does not wear the hijab is astray. The hijab is only a sign that this woman has submitted her will to the Will of Allah, fears Allah and the Last Day, and wants to adhere to every commandment sent down by her Lord and Creator. Just like an officer in the army considers it an honor to wear his army uniform, this believing woman is honored and proud to be in the uniform commanded by Allah, if indeed she believes in Allah, and fears meeting Him on the Last Day.
Q-3: i think that a God fearing Muslim with Eemaan would never ever annoy any woman and would always follow lowering of the gaze order.
The One Who Created mankind, is the One Who recognizes the nature of His creation. The believing men and women both have been commanded to lower their gaze and guard their modesty; and the believing woman is commanded not to display her figure and her beauty to men other than her (mehram) relatives.
Indeed a God-fearing believing man, who sincerely believes in Allah and the Last Day, would obey the command of Allah Subhanah and lower his gaze; and so would a God-fearing believing woman obey the command of Allah Subhanah, dress appropriately and guard her modesty. If both the believing men and believing woman obeyed the command and guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws), the illegal emotions of society will be curtailed; which will result in a God-fearing and pious society for all.
Q-4: The attitude of these damned males makes me Egoistic about taking Hijab. why should i wear an outer garment and a scarf , why do not they lower their gaze and if they annoy me it would be their sin , not mine.
Beloved sister in Islam, let no attitude of some (or most) men who have a disease in their hearts, drive you to disobey a clear and manifest command of Allah Subhanah! The one and only reason the believing woman, who sincerely believes in Allah and the Last Day, should wear appropriate clothing is because she wants to obey the Command and Decree of her Merciful Lord! If she wears the appropriate clothing as commanded by Allah and His Messenger (saws) and guards her modesty, and even then some evil man annoys this righteous believing woman, he will carry the burden of his sin alone, on an Inevitable and Heavy Day!
Q-5: i do not intend to provoke their feelings and emotions . they are themselves responsible for their `niyyat` and intention .
If the believing woman dresses herself appropriately and guards her modesty, she is free of the sin committed by the man who annoys her.
But if she is not clothed in obedience of Allah and His Messenger (saws), then she will definitely share the sin with the man who stares and bothers her!
Sahih Muslim Hadith 6840 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: There are two types, amongst the denizens of Hell, I have yet not seen them. One possessing whips like the tail of an ox and they flog people with them. (The second one) the women who would be naked in spite of their being dressed, who are seduced (to wrong paths) and seduce others with their hair high like humps. These women would not get into Paradise, and they would not perceive the odour of Paradise, although its fragrance can be perceived from such and such distance (from great distance).
Q-6: even without a hijab a Muslim woman should be daring enough to guard her honor and chastity. and even without hijab a woman should be strong enuff to stand against all odds. if indeed she fears Allah swt and the Day of Judjement.
The One Who Created women, is the One Who Decreed and Commanded those women who believe in Him and the Last Day, to don the hijaab! The woman who claims she believes in Allah, but dares to disobey a clear and manifest Command of her Creator should fear the standing in the Court of her Creator on an Inevitable Day!
Being strong, daring, and being able to stand against all odds will not help the woman guard her honor and chastity from the evil amongst mankind; obeying Allah and His Messenger (saws), fearing Allah and the Last Day, and doing righteous good deeds in accordance with the Guidance and Teachings of the Quran and Sunnah will definitely prepare her in standing alone on an Inevitable Day in the Majestic and Just Court of Allah Subhanah!
A believing woman without the hijaab is as ironic a statement as a believing woman who does not believe in the obedience of a clear Command of Allah and His Messenger (saws)!
Beloved sister in Islam, we understand your anger and your frustration at the deeds of the evil amongst the un-godly society that we live in today; but we humbly beseech you not to let your anger and your wrath on some men drive you to disobey any of the commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws)!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 32: Say: "Obey Allah and His Messenger"; but if they turn back, Allah loveth not those who reject Faith.
Our duty as believers is to obey Allah and His Messenger (saws), and leave those who dont obey to answer for their deeds on the Day of Judgement!
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,