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Wife suspects husband having affair

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

As salamu alikum,

 

I have been married for 5 years now and have 2 kids. my huband has been cheating on me most of the time. Whenever i find out i confront him and he promises to change but he dosnt change at all. its been 2 years not he has been with the same woman she is also muslim. whenever i tell him to stop seeing her he says hes not doing anything with her. But i have seen with my own eyes that he is cheating plus my friends have seen him with her outside aswell.

 

Now i am stuck and dont knwo what to do. i have said i will leave him if i find out anything wrong, but he still dosnt get scared. He never fears Allah. i have tried. i was wondring if i did Salat al-Hajah or Istikhara if that will show me if hes cheating on me or if i should divorce him. Or maybe there is a surah i can read to make him stop cheating on me. please help me im really upset and my health is getting bad becasue of the stress. Please give me any suggestions you have Salat al-Hajah) or Istikhara. 

 

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Answer:

 

Wife suspects husband having affair

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Respected Sister, we assume and base our answer on the premise that by the term cheating you mean to imply the extra-marital affair of the husband.

 

Islam Commands and Demands that two believers who have committed themselves to the sacred bond of marriage, fear Allah their Lord, stay well within the boundaries of their Lord, and never say or do anything openly or secretly which would give rise to suspicions of infidelity.for this suspicion of infidelity in marriage is a lethal weapon very effectively used and abused by the evil and accursed enemy of man, the Shaytaan, to sow discord, distrust, and disharmony between the husband and wife in marriage.


 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 49 Surah Hujuraat verse 12:

12 O ye who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin: and spy not on each other nor speak ill of each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay! Ye would abhor it...but fear Allah: for Allah is Oft-Returning Most Merciful.

 

Islamic Law acts on convictions, evidence, and proofs, not suspicions! Shariah Law neither acts nor depends on mere suspicions, nor can one drag another to a court of Shariah Law based on mere suspicions.but if one is absolutely convinced regarding the crime of another and can bring forth evidence or witnesses to prove their accusation, only then can their accusations be admissible in a Shariah Court, or any court of law for that matter!

 

Your Statement: Or maybe there is a surah i can read to make him stop cheating on me.

Respected sister, if there was a Surah which one could recite which would make their loved ones fear Allah, the Messenger of Allah (saws) would have read the Surah for his beloved but disbelieving uncle Abu-Talib!!!

 

We absolutely assure you that the mere reciting of any Surah will not and cannot by itself make your husband fear Allah and/or become a better believer!

 

Your Question: .i was wondring if i did Salat al-Hajah or Istikhara if that will show me if hes cheating on me or if i should divorce him.

To the best of our knowledge there is absolutely nothing in the established and authentic Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (saws) called the salaat-ul-haajah; and when the Messenger of Allah (saws) has not given or assigned a particular name for a prayer, it does not behove and befit one who sincerely believes in Allah and the Last Day to give or assign a name to it from themselves!

 

When one has a hajaah or need, one may simply raise ones hands or bow down to their Lord in prostration and in absolute awe, humility, fear, and hope implore and beseech their Lord Most Gracious to fulfill their need; for He Alone suffices as a Disposer of all affairs. If one wishes to offer a prayer or do a good deed before making ones supplication, there is absolute no harm in doing sobut one should not give or assign a name to that prayer or deed when no name is assigned to it by the Messenger of Allah (saws)!

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 186:

And if My servants ask you, O Prophet, concerning Me, tell them that I am quite near to them. I hear and answer the prayer of the suppliant, when he calls on Me. So let them respond to My call and believe in Me. (Convey this to them), perhaps they may be guided aright!

 

It is the established Sunnah and tradition of the Messenger of Allah (saws) that whenever he (saws) had to make a choice between two (or more) lawful alternatives, he would perform a two-rakah prayer of Istakhara and make earnest supplications to his All-Knowing, All-Wise Lord to guide him to what was best.

 

Hadrat Jabir (r.a.) reports that the Prophet (saws) would teach us al-Istikharah for all of our affairs as he would teach us a Surah of the Qu'ran. He (saws) said 'if one of you is deliberating over an act, he should pray two rak'ahs and recite the supplication of Istakhara.

Related by Al-Bukhari.

 

The salaah and supplication of Istakhara is indeed from the established Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (saws), and one should exercise this Sunnah when one is deliberating between two lawful options seeking the Guidance and Help from their Lord Most Gracious. To perform the Istakhara prayer only to determine whether or not ones spouse is cheating upon them would be absolutely inappropriate to say the least!

 

Respected sister, the one and only thing which will help you and your husband both is the fear of standing in the Court of Allah Subhanah.and the one thing that instills the fear in the hearts of the believers is to get as close to the understanding and the implementation of the Guidance of the Glorious Quran in their lives.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan

 


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