Marry second wife.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Dear Mufti sahab,
Jazakallah for your response!
Just few more doubts in regards to my original question and your response.
I tried a lot in supporting her financially as charity and even my boss (who is also Muslim) wanted to help her financially, but this lady is so self-respected that she would never accept help in form of charity. After she left the job, I got her online documentation work through my sources. At times, when she was not in position to complete the given assignment within the given time, I used to help her complete all those assignment and let her take all money for that particular work. But then she used to calculate how much work was executed by her and me and would distribute money accordingly. I told her it's fine, I don't want money, I just want to help you. After that, she stopped doing that work also as she did not want to own the money paid for the work done by me.
I had/have never thought to establish illicit relationship with this lady. Even if I wanted, she will never get involved in such relationship as she is very much religious and Allah fearing lady and so am I. When we introduced first time to each other on MSN chat after she joined our company, She conveyed salam and asked me "How are you?" Mufti sahab, at that time my heart was so pure that I said "AAP BEHNON KI DUA HAI". But gradually I developed soft feelings for her when I came to know that she is divorced and living with her aged parents and has responsibility of one child. As I mentioned, I tried to get match for her and whenever she would get proposal from somewhere she would seek my opinion and I would always ask her to perform Istakhara and go ahead.
Even today I wish she gets a good proposal so that she settles down in her life. My thought of marrying her would be the last stage.
Muftisahab, your response clearly states that I would not be committing any sin in proposing/ marrying her. Now the only concern I have is,
1. Since I had addressed her as SISTER in the first meeting; AAP BEHNON KI....... Will this be a hindrance in proposing her?
2. She also addresses me as "XYZ BHAI". Will this be hindrance in proposing her?
3. Should I perform Istakhara and seek Allah's opinion before proposing her?
Please clear all of my above doubts so that I could get relief.
Jazakallah once again.
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
Marry second wife
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Q-1: Since I had addressed her as SISTER in the first meeting; AAP BEHNON KI....... Will this be a hindrance in proposing her?
Q-2: She also addresses me as "XYZ BHAI". Will this be hindrance in proposing her?
Respected brother in Islam, a mehram brother-sister relationship is only formed if both are born from a common set of parents, or from a common mother, or from a common father.
Just because one calls or addresses a non-mehram member of the opposite sex as a brother, or sister, or father, or mother, or aunt or uncle, etc..does not in any way make them their blood or mehram relative in the Sight of Shariah Law and in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.
Just because the lady addressed you as a brother or you addressed the lady as a sister does not make her haraam or unlawful for you in the least.
Besides, every believer is a brother or sister of their believing brethren in Islam.
Should I perform Istakhara and seek Allah's opinion before proposing her?
It is the established Sunnah and tradition of the Messenger of Allah (saws) that whenever he (saws) deliberated over an act, or he (saws) had to make a choice between two (or more) legal alternatives, he would perform a two-rakah prayer of Istakhara and make earnest supplications to his All-Knowing, All-Wise Lord to guide him to what was best.
Hadrat Jabir (r.a.) reports that the Prophet (saws) would teach us al-Istikharah for all of our affairs as he would teach us a Surah of the Qu'ran. He (saws) said 'if one of you is deliberating over an act, he should pray two rak'ahs and recite the supplication of Istakhara.
Related by Al-Bukhari.
Saad ibn Waqas (r.a.) reported that the Prophet (saws) said, "Istikharah (seeking guidance from Allah) is one of the distinct favors (of Allah) upon man, and a good fortune for the son of Adam is to be pleased with the Judgment of Allah. And a misfortune of the son of Adam is his failure to make istikharah, and a misfortune for the son of Adam is his displeasure with the Judgment of Allah."
Performing the Sunnah of Istakhara when deliberating any lawful act is always the best option for those who sincerely believe in Allah Subhanah!
If the answer you receive to your istakhara is in the affirmative, fear none save your Lord Most Gracious and go ahead and propose to her; and if the answer you receive is in the negative, trust your Lord Most Wise and drop the desire immediately.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,