Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalamu alaikum wrb,

Ramadan Kareem to you.

I have a very important query regarding marriage. I'm going to be 23 years old from this November, insha Allah and my parents and I feel it is high time I get married. My first priority is that I want to marry a person who is good and pure in his Imaan followed by some other things like education, etc. But I dont want to compromise on the first thing and I constantly seek Allah's help in finding me the right person.

We recently came across a profile through a matrimony site and that person expressed his interest to us. We later found through a family contact that their family is the Murid of some auliya and they are deep into dargas though the guy says he is not interested in such things. I had a very formal conversation with him and what I found was that he has no idea of why dargas are one of the biggest forms of shirk but he just said that he is not interested in them. I told him very clearly that i will not compromise on this issue but he reassured me saying that he is really not interested and he wont force me into such things (even I'm forced i will not oblige, insha Allah). He prays (not all the five times) and fasts, but from whatever I found thats about it. He seems to be very interested with us and keeps saying he doesnt go to dargas and is not interested.

I'm really confused. Is this a test from Allah swt on my patience since Im worried about my marriage? Or can I seriously consider this profile? Please help me on this issue asap. Please.

Jazakallahu Khair

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Marry muslim who visits dargahs

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Respected sister in Islam, it is indeed good that you have chosen to follow the wise counsel of the Messenger of Allah (saws) and intend to give top priority to seek to marry a believing man whose practice of religion and character satisfies your heart.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3090 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on earth and extensive corruption.'

Respected sister, it is evident from the Quran and the Sunnah that one who disobeys the Commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws) will be ruined in this life and the Hereafter! For a girl to marry a believer with whose practice of religion and character she is satisfied with is not a Command, but rather only wise counsel and good advice from the Noble Messenger of Allah (saws)……but Allah is our witness sister, if one intentionally acts against even the wise counsel and advice of Allah and His Messenger (saws), not only will they put themselves in a severe trial with their own hands, but they will find no peace and will be amongst the losers in this world and the Hereafter!

Your Question: …..I'm really confused. Is this a test from Allah swt on my patience since Im worried about my marriage? Or can I seriously consider this profile? Please help me on this issue asap.

If the person who has sent you a proposal verbally declares belief in the Absolute Oneness of Allah Subhanah and in the appointment of Prophet Mohamed (saws) as the Last and Final Messenger of Allah (saws)…..absolutely regardless of his deeds or misdeeds….such a person will be considered a ‘legal’ believer in the Sight of Shariah Law; and a marriage with such a person will be considered lawful and legal in the Sight of Shariah Law.

But if as you have related sister, the suitor’s family are supposed ‘mureeds’ of some shrines, deeply involved in elements of ‘bidah’ or Allah forbid ‘shirk’, and the suitor himself is negligent of his obligatory duties like prayer, etc…..if what you have related is indeed true sister, in our humble opinion it would be best and prudent for you and your ‘imaan’ to reject this proposal and seek to marry someone else with whose practice of religion and character you are thoroughly satisfied.

We reiterate again sister, that as long as the person declares belief in Allah and the Messenger (saws), he would be considered a ‘legal’ believer in the Sight of Shariah Law…..and regardless of his deeds or misdeeds, a marriage between two non-mehram believers of the opposite sex would be considered lawful in Shariah Law.

But if you chose to marry such a person who has such an abject deficiency in his practice of religion, perchance you would put yourself and your faith in an extremely severe trial by marrying him….thus it would only be prudent for you to fear Allah and reject this proposal, and seek to marry someone else with whose practice of religion and character you are thoroughly satisfied.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 65 Surah Talaq verse 2 (part):

And for those who fear Allah, He (ever) prepares a way out……

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan