In the following paragraph I have posted her set of challenges, please Brother, help me answer her impersonally and rationally. She needs to be convinced by Qur'an & hadith, that women do not have a low station in Islam as depicted in some cultures.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Asalaamualaikum w.r.a.w.b. Brother Burhan,
Masha'Allah,
you have undertaken a commendable job of assisting people to Allah's guidance-
May Allah reward you magnanimously. Ameen.
For
long I have read and learnt from people's queries and now I hope our
correspondence can rekindle the faith of a victimized friend, inshaAllah.
My
friend is a revert. I have watched her grow in Deen and perform her duties
vigilantly for the past 5-6 years, mashaAllah. She is very independent, has
traveled much and now lives alone. From the earliest stages of her acceptance
of Islam, she has harboured plenty of questions on women rights. Her
fear is mostly based on unjust
married life in Islam (specifically in
Anyways, recently, her
feminist doubts have doubled and her faith has weakened her very much- it is
now very apparent, there is a considerable fall back on religious/social
obligations. But mashaAllah, she is still open to clarifications.
In the
following paragraph I have posted her set of challenges,
please Brother, help me answer her impersonally and rationally. She needs
to be convinced by Qur'an & hadith, that women do not have a low station in
Islam as depicted in some cultures. Please, also suggest how I
should consort her in maintaining her patience while she finds
answers to these probes, inshaAllah.
Jazak
Allah khair,
"Salam my dear,
To answer my alleged apostasy and
misguidance:
Source: Al
Bukhari:
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 64:
Narrated 'Aisha:
that the Prophet married her when she was six years old and he consummated his
marriage when she was nine years old, and then she remained with him for nine
years ( i.e., till his death).
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 90:
Narrated Aisha:
When the Prophet married me, my mother came to me and made me enter the house
(of the Prophet) and nothing surprised me but the coming of Allah's Apostle to
me in the forenoon.
HUH?
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 113:
Narrated Abu Huraira:
Allah's Apostle said, "The woman is like a rib; if you try to straighten
her, she will break. So if you want to get benefit from her, do so while she
still has some crookedness."
Ummm.. i tried to think of this one.
Who in the world would want to break me?
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 121:
Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, "If a man Invites his wife to sleep with him and she
refuses to come to him, then the angels send their curses on her till morning.
Seriously? Why would i want to give
ANY human being such power over me? Can't i have a headache?
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 126:
Narrated Imran:
The Prophet said, "I looked at
It looks as most of us are doomed.
Unless we keep ourselves locked in the house..
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 132:
Narrated 'Abdullah bin Zam'a:
The Prophet said, "None of you should flog his wife as he flogs a slave
and then have sexual intercourse with her in the last part of the day."
Notice that it doesn't say that none
should flog his wife as he does a slave. (period) it says,IF you flog her like
a slave , at least have the heart and not sleep with her the same day. wow,
indeed, merciful!
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 137:
Narrated Abu Said Al-Khudri:
We got female captives in the war booty and we used to do coitus interruptus
with them. So we asked Allah's Apostle about it and he said, "Do you
really do that?" repeating the question thrice, "There is no soul
that is destined to exist but will come into existence, till the Day of
Resurrection."
Now this one you'd say is outdated,
right? right? As there's no more slavery. Right?
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 142:
Narrated Anas bin Malik:
The Prophet used to pass by (have sexual relation with) all his wives in one
night, and at that time he had nine wives.
And the Qur'an clearly states no more
than 4... Hmm...
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 32:
Narrated Sahl bin Sad:
Allah's Apostle said, "If at all there is bad omen, it is in the horse,
the woman, and the house."
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 33:
Narrated Usama bin Zaid:
The Prophet said, "After me I have not left any affliction more harmful to
men than women."
There are many many others like this.
This is what i mean when i say use
logic and intelligence.
No i am not dumb. I am actually
investigating.
And here's another one. Read it
carefully:
Volume 3, Book 45, Number 687:
Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah:
Allah's Apostle said, "Who would kill Ka'b bin Al-Ashraf as he has harmed
Allah and His Apostle ?" Muhammad bin Maslama (got up and) said, "I
will kill him." So, Muhammad bin Maslama went to Ka'b and said, "I
want a loan of one or two Wasqs of food grains." Ka'b said, "Mortgage
your women to me." Muhammad bin Maslama said, "How can we mortgage our
women, and you are the most handsome among the Arabs?" He said, "Then
mortgage your sons to me." Muhammad said, "How can we mortgage our
sons, as the people will abuse them for being mortgaged for one or two Wasqs of
food grains? It is shameful for us. But we will mortgage our arms to you."
So, Muhammad bin Maslama promised him that he would come to him next time. They
(Muhammad bin Maslama and his companions came to him as promised and murdered
him. Then they went to the Prophet and told him about it.
So when i say i will pick and choose
using my intelligence i mean drop the barbaric customs and keep the ones that
have to do with belief and being a good person, not someone's property that can
be mortgaged.
So i am looking for truth as it's
agonising to read all these things.. So if you can help me with my doubts i
will be more than happy
Salam and be happy"
(There may be some grammatical and spelling
errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in
confidentiality.)
Answer:
Challenge status of
women in islam
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His
help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide,
and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear
witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear
witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His
Messengers.
Allah Says in the
Glorious Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 36 (part):
…and the male is not
like the female!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah
Baqarah verse 228 (part):
228 …... And women shall have
rights similar to the rights against them (in a marriage)
according to what is equitable; but men have a degree (of advantage) over
them, and Allah is Exalted in Power Wise.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah
Nisaa verse 34:
34
Men are the
protectors and maintainers of women because Allah
has given the one more (advantage) than the other, and because they
support them from their means. Therefore
the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence
what Allah would have them guard (their chastity, their husband’s honor, property,
etc.)
Allah Subhanah declares in His
Glorious Quran that the male is ‘not like’ the female, and although the woman
has similar (not same!) rights as her husband in a marriage, The Lord Most
Majestic, in His Supreme Wisdom and Knowledge has given or bestowed upon one
more advantage than the other.
Dear and beloved Sister, the confusion and disillusion starts when one tries to make something which has been created as ‘balanced’ to a thing ‘equal’! Contrary to popular belief, men and women are not created equal by the All-Wise, All Knowing Lord; but rather, they are balanced! For example: a kilo of apples and a kilo of bananas are balanced in weight, but the two are not equal!
For the test period of this one transitory life, each spouse has been given a set of duties and responsibilities by Allah Subhanah best suited according to their bestowed nature. It would not only be unjust, but absolutely incorrect and unfair for a society to treat as ‘equal’ what the Creator has declared as unequal but balanced! The so called modern-educated but ignorant and un-Godly societies which have tried to challenge and reverse the bestowed nature and declare the men and women as equal rather than balanced have paid an enormous price in the forming of their families, their relationships, their homes, and in their lives!
The societies which have
propagated the ‘equality’ amongst the sexes have obviously not understood the
nature of the man and the woman like the One Who Created their nature! The Creator has bestowed on the man and the
woman ‘balance’ so that they may complement each other; but the ignorant and
un-Godly society insist on making them ‘equal’ so that they may ‘compete’
against each other!
We will try to the best of our ability to address each of
the queries raised by our sister in light of the guidance of the Quran and the
Sunnah, Insha Allah:
Ref: Challenge-1:
Source: Al Bukhari:
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 64:
Narrated 'Aisha:
that the Prophet married her when she was six years old and he consummated his
marriage when she was nine years old, and then she remained with him for nine
years ( i.e., till his death).
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 90:
Narrated Aisha:
When the Prophet married me, my mother came to me and made me enter the house
(of the Prophet) and nothing surprised me but the coming of Allah's Apostle to
me in the forenoon.
HUH?
It has indeed
been accurately reported that the Messenger of Allah (saws) married Hadrat
Aisha (r.a.) when she was 6 years of age, and the marriage was consummated when
Hadrat Aisha (r.a.) reached the age of puberty at nine.
Whatever the noble Messenger of Allah (saws) did and said,
there is a perfect explanation and a valid reason; as everything the Prophet
(saws) did and said was done under the direct guidance of the All Knowing, All
Wise, Allah Subhanah!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah
Ahzab verse 21:
There is indeed the best example for you to
follow, in the Messenger of Allah, for
every such person looks forward to Allah and the Last Day, and remembers Allah
much.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 7 Surah
Aaraat verse 157:
(So, now
mercy has been assigned to those) who follow this Messenger, the Gentile Prophet, whose mention they shall find in the Torah
and the Gospel with them. He enjoins
them to do good and forbids them from evil;
he makes pure things lawful for them and impure things
unlawful; he relieves them of their
burdens and frees them from the shackles (of rites and rituals) that bound them. For this reason, those alone who believe in him, support him,
succour him, and follow the Light
that has been sent down with him shall attain true ‘success’.
The life of the Messenger of Allah (saws) is to be an
example for the believers until the end of time. Amongst the duties and responsibilities that
comes with the appointment of Prophethood is that the Prophet (saws) enjoins
what is good and forbid what is evil, he (saws) makes pure things lawful for
the believers and impure things unlawful, he (saws) relieves the believers of
the burden the society has unlawfully put upon them with their man-made laws,
etc.
Sometimes the man-made social laws are so established and
so overpowering that it is inconceivable for man to go against them; and it is
specially in these circumstances that the Prophet (saws) is commanded to lead
by example and break the illegal social laws and customs which are established
in society, so that there remains absolutely no doubt regarding the lawful and
unlawful.
If one studies the various marriage of the Messenger of
Allah (saws) and the circumstances and conditions in which they were
accomplished, one would get a picture of how the example is set by the
Messenger of Allah (saws) himself so that there remains no doubt in the minds
of the believers after him.
The first marriage of Prophet Mohamed (saws) was
formalized with Hadrat Khadijah (r.a.), who was a widow and about 15 years
older than him. That set an universal
and timeless example for the believers until the end of time that it is absolutely
legal and permissible for them to marry a woman who is a widow, or to marry a
woman who is much older than the man in age.
Just compare this with the social custom of some societies where a widow
was forced to burn herself in the pyre of her deceased husband, leave alone
allowing her to re-marry!
Another illegally established man-made social custom and
law which was challenged by Islam was the marriage of a man to the divorced
wife of his adopted son! In the days of
ignorance, when a man adopted a son, all the social laws of inheritance,
becoming a mehram, marriage, etc. were levied upon the adopted son exactly as
if the son was born from the loins of the man or woman. But Islam made a clear distinction between
one who is born from one’s loins and one who is adopted; and to break this
illegal and established social custom and law, Allah Subhanah commanded the
Prophet (saws) to marry the divorced wife of his adopted son, Hadrat Zayd ibn
Haritha (r.a.). One can only imagine the
chaos, criticism, and ridicule the ignorant amongst the then society would have
heaped on this act of the Prophet (saws), whom Allah Subhanah married to Hadrat
Zainab (r.a.), the divorced wife of his adopted son, Hadrat Zayd ibn Haritha
(r.a.).
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah
Ahzaab verses 36-39:
36 It is not fitting for a Believer man or woman when a matter has been
decided by Allah and His Messenger to have any option about their decision: if
anyone disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he is indeed on a clearly wrong Path.
37 Behold! Thou (O Prophet) didst say to one who had received the grace
of Allah and thy favor (Zayd): "Retain thou (in wedlock) thy wife (Zainab)
and fear Allah." But thou didst
hide in thy heart that which Allah was about to make manifest: thou didst fear
the people but it is more fitting that thou shouldst fear Allah. Then when Zaid had dissolved (his marriage)
with her with the necessary (formality), We
joined her in marriage to thee: in
order that (in future) there may be no difficulty to the Believers in (the
matter of) marriage with the wives of their adopted sons when the latter have
dissolved with the necessary (formality) (their marriage) with them:
and Allah's command must be fulfilled.
38 There can be no difficulty to the Prophet in what Allah has
indicated to him as a duty. It was the practice (approved) of Allah amongst
those of old that have passed away and the command of Allah is a decree
determined.
39 (It is the practice of those) who preach the Messages of Allah and
fear Him and fear none but Allah: and enough is Allah to call (men) to account.
Such was the severity of the illegal social
impermissibility for a man to marry the divorced wife of his adopted son, that
the Messenger of Allah (saws) feared that the disbelievers, who never missed an
opportunity to ridicule and challenge his Message, would make a huge hue and
cry about this marriage of the Prophet (saws).
Such was the social opposition, that Allah Subhanah revealed the above
verses of the Quran and Declared that ‘We (Allah) joined her
(Zainab) in marriage to thee (O Prophet): in order that (in future) there may
be no difficulty to the Believers in (the matter of) marriage with the wives of
their adopted sons when the latter have dissolved with the necessary
(formality) (their marriage) with them!’
If some people are unable to understand or comprehend or
accept the wisdom behind every deed of the Messenger of Allah (saws); the
ignorance and short-coming of wisdom is in the person’s mind, not in the deed
of the noble Messenger of Allah (saws)!
The man-made laws today allows a girl to choose to marry
anyone of her choice, only after she
reaches a particular age of 18 or 21 or whatever! Who chose this age? What is the wisdom behind choosing this
age? Why 18 or 21, why not 25 or
12? Some might say 18 is too
young? Some might argue 18 is too
old? Some might say this and some might
say that? Who has the right to decide?
In Islam, the believers have submitted their will to the
Will of their Lord in every aspect of their life. Allah is He Who Created the heavens and the
earth and everything that exists in between, and He Created everything to
Absolute Perfection! There is
absolutely no flaw or error in any of His Creation! The same Allah created man, and He it is,
Who gave mankind its nature. Thus, He
has a bigger right that He Decree what is allowed and prohibited in the life of
His creatures. And Allah it is, Who
has declared it legal and permissible for a believer to seek a woman in
marriage, regardless of her age!
One thing to note here is that Allah has not Commanded
that the believers must marry women only when they are below the age of
puberty; but the Law revealed by the Lord has only held such a marriage as
permissible and lawful for those who wish to do so, provided all the obligatory
conditions of the prescribed marriage contract are honored.
The examples in the marriages of the Messenger of Allah
(saws) serve to break the self-imposed restrictions and ‘taboos’ which the
ignorant societies unlawfully force down the throats of mankind.
The issue with some people today is that whenever the
un-godly world makes a law or regulation, they humbly accept and submit to
it! But when Allah and His Messenger
(saws) decree a law or regulation, or allow something as lawful and declare
something as unlawful, they have a real problem with it!!!!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah
Ahzaab verse 36:
36 It is not fitting for a Believer man or woman, when a matter has
been decided by Allah and His Messenger, to have any option about their
decision: if anyone disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he is indeed on a clearly
wrong Path.
Ref: Challenge-2
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 113:
Narrated Abu Huraira:
Allah's Apostle said, "The woman is like a rib; if you try to
straighten her, she will break. So if you want to get benefit from her, do so
while she still has some crookedness." Ummm.. i tried to think of this one. Who in the world would want to
break me?
Allah Says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 1:
1 O mankind! Reverence your
Guardian-Lord Who created you (all) from a single ‘nafs’ (soul or person), and from it (the nafs) created his mate, and
from them twain scattered countless men
and women. Reverence Allah through Whom
ye demand your mutual (rights), and (reverence) the wombs (that bore you): for
Allah ever watches over you.
Allah Subhanah declares in the above Aayah of Surah Nisaa (Women) that He created all mankind from a single ‘nafs’ (soul or person, Prophet Adam (a.s.)), and from the same ‘nafs’ he created his mate (Hawwa).
Beloved sister, the term used by Allah Subhanah is ‘nafs’ which has been translated by some commentators as soul, and some commentators as person. Regardless of whatever meaning of the term ‘nafs’ is taken, it clearly means that Allah Subhanah created both the man and the woman from the same ‘nafs’, and that both are not from different species but from one and the same.
Sahih
Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.114 Narrated
by Abu Huraira
The
Prophet (saws) said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should
not hurt (trouble) his neighbor. And I
advise you to take care of the women, for they are created from a rib
and the most crooked portion of the rib is its upper part; if you try to
straighten it, it will break, and if you leave it, it will remain crooked, so I
urge you to take care of the women."
In the above Hadith, the Messenger of Allah (saws) guided man that women are created from a rib. The parable implied is that just as the rib has a natural turn or bend or crookedness in its nature, the nature of woman is distinct and different from the man’s. Just as the rib would break if one tried to change or bend it, the woman too should be accepted, appreciated, and honored with her distinct nature; for if one tries to change or distort the natural nature of the woman she was created in, she would move away from the nature she was created in.
The Comment:
Ummm.. i tried to think of this one. Who in the world would want to break me?
Respected sister, the issue is not who would try to ‘break’
an individual woman in person…but rather ‘break’ the fair nature of the woman
she was created in. If one amongst the
women sees herself as ‘equal’ to the other gender, when the Lord Creator has
not created the two ‘equal’ but rather ‘balanced’….she herself would be
responsible and face the consequences of challenging and breaking her fair
nature in which she was created!
Ref: Challenge-3
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 121:
Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, "If a man Invites his wife to sleep with him and she
refuses to come to him, then the angels send their curses on her till morning.
Seriously? Why would i want to give
ANY human being such power over me? Can't i have a headache?
When two individuals who fear Allah and look forward to
the Day the lord chose to unite with each other in the sacred bond of marriage,
it becomes the obligatory duty of both parties to fulfill the lawful needs of
each other.
Those individual, women and men, who are blessed to have
chosen to marry know that regardless of the minor differences and schisms which
normally and naturally surface from time to time in such a close and sacred
relationship, the sanctity and the pleasure derived from a conjugal
relationship is such that it allows both parties to easily forgive, forget, and
overlook the faults of their spouse. Such
is the effect of sharing conjugal relations with one’s spouse in marriage, that
even a declaration of divorce is revoked
by this noble act in Shariah Law!
Although it is highly unlikely and unnatural for a husband
to refuse sexual intercourse when invited by his wife, if the husband too were
to refuse the invitation of his wife without any valid reason and causes his
wife to sleep in anger, it would be safe to assume that the sin upon him would
be the same.
Thus my respected sister, the guidance is not meant to
determine or evaluate the amount of ‘power’ one party in marriage holds over
another….but rather it works as a deed which ‘irons’ out the minor differences
which might normally and naturally surface in such a close and sacred
relationship.
Abu Dhar al-Ghafari reported: ‘The Messenger
of Allah (saws) said: “there is a reward for you [even] in sex with your
wife."’ The companions asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah (saws) is there a
reward if one satisfies his passion?" He (saws) said: "Do you know
that if he satisfies it unlawfully he has taken a sin upon himself? Likewise, if he satisfies it lawfully, he is
rewarded."
Related by Ahmad and Muslim.
Ref: Challenge-4
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 126:
Narrated Imran:
The Prophet said, "I looked at
It looks as most of us are doomed.
Unless we keep ourselves locked in the house..
Allah
Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah Ahzaab verse 35:
35 For muslim men and women, for believing men and
women, for devout men and women, for true men and
women, for men and women who are patient and constant,
for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women
who give in charity, for men and women who fast, for men
and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women
who engage much in Allah's praise; for them has Allah prepared Forgiveness and
a Great Reward.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah
Ahzaab verse 72:
72 Allah hath promised to believers, men and women, Gardens under which rivers flow to dwell
therein and beautiful mansions in gardens of everlasting bliss. But the greatest bliss in the Good Pleasure
of Allah: that is the supreme felicity.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 48 Surah
Al-Fath verse 5:
5 That He may admit the men and women who believe to
Gardens beneath which rivers flow to dwell therein for aye and remove their
ills from them; and that is in the Sight of Allah the Highest Achievement
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 57 Surah
Hadid verses 11-12:
11 Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful Loan? For (Allah) will
increase it manifold to his credit and he will have (besides) a liberal reward.
12 One Day shalt thou see the believing men and the believing
women how their Light runs forward before them and by their right
hands: (their greeting will be): "Good News for you this Day! Gardens
beneath which flow rivers! To dwell therein for aye! This is indeed the Highest
Achievement!"
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah
Ahzaab verses 72-73:
72 We did indeed offer the Trust to the Heavens and the Earth and the
Mountains: but they refused to undertake it being afraid thereof: but man
undertook it he was indeed unjust and foolish.
73 (With the result) that Allah has to punish the hypocrites men and
women, and the unbelievers men and women, and Allah turns in Mercy to the
believers men and women: for Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah
Ale-Imraan verse 195:
195 And their Lord hath accepted of them and answered them: "Never
will I suffer to be lost the work of any of you be he male or female:
ye are members one of another; those who have left their homes or been driven
out therefrom or suffered harm in My Cause or fought or been slain verily I
will blot out from them their iniquities and admit them into Gardens with
rivers flowing beneath; a reward from the presence of Allah and from His
presence is the best of rewards."
Dear and Beloved Sister in Islam, rest assured that the
All-Wise All-Just Lord does not Judge His creation according to their gender,
or color, or race, or nationality, or anything else over which one did not
possess any control….but the principle of Justice of the Lord Most Just is
based on the beliefs and deeds of each individual, absolutely regardless of
their gender or color, etc.! Whosoever’s
weight of good deeds is heavier in the Supreme Scales of Allah Subhanah will be
shown His Forgiveness and Mercy; and whosoever’s weight of evil is heavier will
deserve the Lord’s Wrath and Anger.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 103 Surah
Al-Qariah verses 6-11:
6 Then he whose balance (of good deeds)
will be (found) heavy
7 Will be in a life of good pleasure and
satisfaction.
8 But he whose balance (of good deeds) will
be (found) light
9 Will have his home in a (bottomless) pit.
10 And what will explain to thee what this
is?
11 (It is) a Fire Blazing fiercely!
My dear and beloved sister in Islam, now to answer your
specific question regarding the quoted hadith, whereby the Messenger of Allah
(saws) warned that he (saws) was shown Hell Fire and he (saws) saw that the
majority of its inhabitants were women.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.28 Narrated by Ibn Abbas
The Prophet (saws) said: "I was shown
the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were
ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in
Allah?" (or are they ungrateful to Allah?)
He (saws) replied, "They are ungrateful to their husbands and are
ungrateful for the favors and the good done to them. If you have always been
good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her
liking), she will say, 'I have never received any good from you!"
Although most people have taken this authentic quotation
of the Messenger of Allah (saws) and used it against the womenfolk, the truth
is that most of them have not truly understood the wisdom behind the wise
counsel of the Messenger of Allah (saws) and the depth and reality of the
wisdom behind the statement.
One can only imagine the importance the Prophet (saws) and
Islam lays on the development of peace, tranquility, and harmony in a marriage
in Islam. The above statements of the
Messenger of Allah (saws) were said when he was addressing the womenfolk, and
he (saws) guided them how detestable is their act of constantly complaining and
being ungrateful to their husbands in the Sight of Allah, and how this constant
complaining and nagging effects the very core of the relationship between a
husband and his wife in marriage!
There are several ahadeeths of the Messenger of Allah
(saws) whereby he warned the men, when his audience were men, regarding the
severity and importance of being merciful, kind, charitable, and forgiving
towards their wives, and keeping good harmonious relations with their wives in
marriage.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 278 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘The most perfect
Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behaviour; and the best
among you are those who behave best towards their wives.’
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3252 Narrated by Aisha ; Abdullah ibn Abbas
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "The best
of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my
family."
Sahih Muslim Hadith 3465 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘The whole
world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious
woman.’
Sahih Muslim Hadith 3469 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘a believing
man should not hate a believing woman (his wife); if he dislikes one of her
characteristics, he will be pleased with another.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3358 Narrated by AbuBakr as-Siddiq
The Prophet (saws) said, "One who
treats badly those under his authority will not enter
The wisdom behind the statement of the Messenger of Allah
(saws) warning the believing woman was not to belittle or demean the role of
women, but rather a warning and a guidance to make sure they fulfill their part
in developing peace, harmony and tranquility in their marriage; and Allah is
our witness sister, nothing is more hurtful to men than to hear these words
from their wives after a lifetime of sacrifices that ‘'I have never received any good from you!"
My dear and beloved sister in Islam, I tell you as a man
myself, nothing on this planet earth crushes and crumbles the heart of the man
to pieces than to hear this one statement from the one whom he has cherished
and loved a lifetime!
Rest assured my beloved sister, that the men who harm,
abuse, oppress, tyrannize, and are unjust to anyone, leave alone their wives,
will have to pay retribution in full to the victims of their tyranny in the Majestic
Presence of the Lord Most Majestic on that Inevitable Day of Justice…and Allah
is our witness sister, not a single soul will be wronged in that Majestic and
Tumultuous gathering!
Sahih Muslim Hadith 6251 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Messenger (saws) asked: ‘Do you know
who is a ‘muflis’ (an absolute and abject pauper)?’ They (the Companions of the Prophet (saws))
said: ‘A ‘muflis’ amongst us is one who has neither dirham with him nor
wealth.’ He (the Prophet (saws)) said:
‘The ‘muflis’ (or absolute pauper) of my Ummah would be he who would come on
the Day of Resurrection with prayers and fasts and Zakat but (he would find
himself bankrupt on that day as he would have exhausted his funds of virtues)
since he hurled abuses upon others, brought calumny against others, unlawfully
consumed the wealth of others, shed the blood of others, and beat others, and
his virtues would be credited to the account of one (who suffered at his hand).
And if his good deeds fall short to clear the account, then his sins would be
entered in (his account) and he would be thrown in the Hell-Fire!’
Although most people who do not fully and truly understand
the wisdom behind the statement of the Messenger of Allah (saws) and have taken
the words ‘I was shown the Hell-fire and that the
majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful’ literally,
assume that the Hell Fire mentioned in the above hadith refers to the complete
expanse and all the inhabitants of the Hell-Fire! The Truth is that just as
When the Messenger of Allah (saws) relates in truth that
the inhabitants of the Hell-Fire he was shown had a majority of women as its
inhabitants, it is very probable that he (saws) was warning about only a
particular section and level of Hell where those who were constantly ungrateful
were held. There are many authentic
narrations whereby the Messenger of Allah (saws) was shown and talks about
particular sections and levels of the Hell Fire and its inhabitants.
In light of the above absolutely clear guidance of the
Quran and Sunnah, it is absolutely evident that the Lord Most High does not
base His Justice, His Rewards, and His Sentences of Punishments based on one’s
gender or race or color, etc.; but every soul shall reap the results of only
what one had sown in their test period of one life on this earth; and Allah is
our witness sister, no one will be wronged in the least in that Majestic and
Supreme Presence of their Lord Most High.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 36 Surah
Yaseen verses 53-54:
53 It will be no more than a Single Blast when lo! They will all be
brought up before Us!
54 Then on that Day not a soul will be wronged in the least, and ye
shall but be repaid (in full) the meeds of your past deeds.
Ref: Challenge-5:
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 132:
Narrated 'Abdullah bin Zam'a:
The Prophet said, "None of you should flog his
wife as he flogs a slave and then have sexual intercourse with her in the last
part of the day."
Notice that
it doesn't say that none should flog his wife as he does a slave. (period) it
says,IF you flog her like a slave , at least have the heart and not sleep with
her the same day. wow, indeed, merciful!
In the above
quoted narration by you, the Messenger of Allah (saws) Commanded and Guided the
believers not to beat or be harsh with their wives….and by saying not to have
sexual intercourse with them later in the day, he (saws) merely meant to arouse
their sense of guilt, shame, and remorse at the evil and injustice they might
have done in their anger so that they may realize their evil and seek
forgiveness from their wives and from their All-Knowing, All-Seeing Lord.
My beloved and respected sister, it all depends on how one
views a glass half-filled with water….some view it as half-empty, while others
may view it as half-full!!!
If the guidance and the message which you have been able
to derive from the above quoted narration is as you have described, perhaps
these statements of Truth from Allah and His Messenger (saws) would help in
determining the ‘real’ truth!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah
Rome verse 21:
21 And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among
yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put
love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for
those who reflect.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 278 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘The most perfect
Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behaviour; and the
best among you are those who behave best towards their wives.’
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3252 Narrated by Aisha ; Abdullah ibn Abbas
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "The
best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among
you to my family."
Sahih Muslim Hadith 3465 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘The whole
world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the
pious woman.’
Sahih Muslim Hadith 3469 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘a believing
man should not hate a believing woman (his wife); if he dislikes one of her
characteristics, he will be pleased with another.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3358 Narrated by AbuBakr as-Siddiq
The Prophet (saws) said, "One who
treats badly those under his authority will not enter
Ref: Challenge-6:
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 137:
Narrated Abu Said Al-Khudri:
We got female captives in the war booty and we used
to do coitus interruptus with them. So we asked Allah's Apostle about it and he
said, "Do you really do that?" repeating the question thrice,
"There is no soul that is destined to exist but will come into existence,
till the Day of Resurrection."
Now this one you'd say is outdated,
right? right? As there's no more slavery. Right?
We hereby attach the answer ‘concept of slave-girls’ from
the archive for your perusal.
Ref: Challenge-7:
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 142:
Narrated Anas bin Malik:
The Prophet used to pass by (have sexual relation
with) all his wives in one night, and at that time he had nine wives.
And the Qur'an clearly states no more than 4...
Hmm...
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah
Nisaa verse 3:
3 If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans
marry women of your choice two, or three, or four; but if ye fear
that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one or (a
captive) that your right hands possess.
That will be more suitable to prevent you from doing injustice.
It is indeed a historical fact that the Noble Prophet
(saws) married a total of eleven times, and he (saws) did have a maximum of
nine wives at one time. The above Verse
of Surah Nisaa limits and restricts the believers to keep a maximum of upto
four wives at any one time, if they wish to do so; but in the case of the Noble
Prophet (saws), he (saws) was given special and specific permission by Allah
Subhanah to keep the wives he had.
Although almost all the laws of Islam that were laid upon
the believers were also for the Prophet (saws), there were a few laws which
were specific to the Prophet (saws) himself and his family alone due to his
(saws) position, and not for the believers at large. Some amongst those laws specific to the
Prophet (saws) were:
- The
‘Tahajjud’ or ‘night prayers’ which are optional for the believers, were
‘fard’ (obligatory) upon the Prophet (saws).
- It
was declared forbidden for the Prophet (saws) and his family to accept any
funds from the ‘zakah’ collections.
- As
shown in the below verses of Surah Ahzaab, the Prophet (saws) was
restricted in his choice of women to marry by Allah Subhanah, unlike the
believers who are permitted to choose to marry amongst believing women
and/or from amongst the chaste women of the People of the Book.
- The
believers who have more than one wife are commanded by Allah to treat them
equally in their allotment of time and resources; but the Prophet (saws)
because of his superior position and the duties and responsibilities he
had to fulfill as a Prophet (saws), was given a special allowance by Allah
Subhanah regarding this command of allocating equal time between his
wives.
- When
a believer dies, his widow has an option to re-marry; but Allah Subhanah
specifically prohibited the wives of the Prophet (saws) to marry anyone
else after his death.
One amongst these commands specific only to the Prophet
(saws) was that he (saws) was not restricted to limit the maximum number of
wives to four:
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah
Ahzaab verses 50-52:
50 O prophet! We have made
lawful to thee thy wives to whom thou hast paid their dowers; and those
whom thy right hand possesses out of the prisoners of war whom Allah has
assigned to thee; and daughters of thy paternal uncles and aunts, and daughters
of thy maternal uncles and aunts who migrated (from Mecca) with thee; and any
believing woman who dedicates her soul to the Prophet if the Prophet wishes to
wed her, this only for thee and not for the believers (at large);
We know what We have appointed for them as to their wives and the captives whom
their right hands possess in order that there should be no difficulty for
Thee. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most
Merciful.
51 Thou (O Prophet (saws)) mayest defer (the turn of) any of them that
thou pleasest and thou mayest receive any thou pleasest: and there is no blame
on thee if thou invite one whose (turn) thou hadst set aside. This were nigher to the cooling of their eyes
the prevention of their grief and their satisfaction--that of all of them--with
that which thou hast to give them: and Allah knows (all) that is in your
hearts: and Allah is All-Knowing Most Forbearing.
52 It is not lawful for thee (O Prophet (saws) to marry more) women
after this nor to change them for (other) wives even though their beauty attract thee except any thy right hand
should possess; and Allah doth watch over all things.
Ref: Challenge-8:
And here's
another one. Read it carefully:
Volume 3, Book 45, Number 687:
Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah:
Allah's Apostle said, "Who would kill Ka'b bin
Al-Ashraf as he has harmed Allah and His Apostle ?" Muhammad bin Maslama
(got up and) said, "I will kill him." So, Muhammad bin Maslama went
to Ka'b and said, "I want a loan of one or two Wasqs of food grains." Ka'b said, "Mortgage your women
to me." Muhammad bin Maslama said, "How can we mortgage
our women, and you are the most handsome among the Arabs?" He said,
"Then mortgage your sons to me." Muhammad said, "How can we
mortgage our sons, as the people will abuse them for being mortgaged for one or
two Wasqs of food grains? It is shameful for us. But we will mortgage our arms to you." So, Muhammad bin
Maslama promised him that he would come to him next time. They (Muhammad bin
Maslama and his companions came to him as promised and murdered him. Then they
went to the Prophet and told him about it.
So when i say i will pick and choose
using my intelligence i mean drop the barbaric customs and keep the ones that
have to do with belief and being a good person, not someone's property that can
be mortgaged.
My respected sister in Islam, maybe its time you ‘Read it
carefully’.......the demand to mortgage the women was not made by the
noble companion Muhammad ibn Maslama….but rather by the evil and arrogant enemy
of Allah and His Messenger (saws) Kaab ibn Al-Ashraf!!!!
In conclusion my beloved and respected sister in Islam, if
one’s ‘fine-tooth-comb’ search is merely to seek out errors, flaws, mistakes
and falsehoods in the pure and perfect guidance of Allah and His Messenger
(saws) then that person should know that it is absolutely and categorically
inevitable that at length (may happen in this world….will definitely happen in
the Hereafter)….that at length they themselves will be left with no choice but
to admit that the falsehood was in their own hearts and minds rather than in
the guidance of the Lord and His Messenger (saws)!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 67 Surah
Mulk verses 1-4:
1 Blessed be He in Whose hands is The Dominion: and He over all things
Hath Power
2 He Who created death and life that He may try which of you is best
in deed: and He is the Exalted in Might Oft-Forgiving
3 He Who created the seven heavens one above another; no want of
proportion wilt thou see in the Creation of (Allah) Most Gracious so turn thy
vision again: Seest thou any flaw?
4 Again turn thy vision a second time; (thy) vision will come back to
thee dull and discomfited in a state worn out!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 22 Surah
Hajj verses 1-4:
1 O mankind! Fear your Lord! For the convulsion of the Hour (of
Judgment) will be a thing terrible!
2 The Day ye shall see it every mother giving suck shall forget her
suckling-babe; and every pregnant female shall drop her load (unformed); thou
shalt see mankind as in a drunken riot, yet not drunk: but dreadful will be the
Wrath of Allah!
3 And yet among men there are such as dispute about Allah without
knowledge and follow every evil one obstinate in rebellion!
4 About the (Shaytaan) it is Decreed that whoever turns to him for
friendship; him will he lead astray, and he will guide him to the Penalty of
the Fire!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah
Ahzaab verse 36:
It does not behove a believing man and a
believing woman that when Allah and His Messenger have given their decision in
a matter, they should exercise an option
in that matter of theirs. For whoever
disobeys Allah and His Messenger, has
indeed strayed into manifest error.
If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and
commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),
one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any
other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be
assured of being led astray.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me
alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is
the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
Wister