Mr. Slick lover refuses to marry.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Asalam
walikum, I just wanted to know if i`m doing right or wrong. almost 1 and a half
yr ago I felt in love with this guy and i still do love him and because of him
i had alot of problems with my parents but i choose him over my parents...and
then we became really close physically with in dis 1 and half yr and now for
the past 3 months we are having alot of fight between us and now when he is
moving to china for studies he wants to leave me...I dont know what to do
now..I know what i did was really bad, Allah will never forgive me but i can`t
just let him do this to me, I think him as my husband, he promised me tht he
will marry me and sumhow now i begged him not to leave me and he said okay but
still he treats me really bad what should i do? I feel like killing my self..my
life is finished, I`m taking pills to sleep so that i don`t think about him.
please suggest me somthing.
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Answer:
Mr. Slick lover
refuses to marry
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His
help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide,
and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear
witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear
witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His
Messengers.
Your
Question: I just wanted to know if i`m doing right or wrong.
Q-1:
….almost 1 and a half yr ago I felt in love with this guy and i still do love
him
Respected sister in Islam, love-hate, like-dislike,
joy-sorrow, smile-weep, etc. are natural emotions of mankind! What determines virtue and sin is what one
says or does when one experiences these natural emotions!
To love someone is a natural emotion, and there is
absolutely no sin if one loves another person; it is what one does and says
after one has fallen in love with that person which would determine whether it
would be counted as a virtue and a good deed in the Sight of Allah or a sin!
If one falls in love, and informs one’s guardians that
they love so and so, and requests them to sanctify their love in the sacred
bond of marriage so that they may love each other for the rest of their lives
would be counted as a virtue and a good deed in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.
But if one falls in love, and strives to meet or talk to
the person in secret and in private, and in their love transgress the
boundaries of Allah Subhanah before they are united in the sacred bond of
marriage; then indeed it would constitute a huge sin in the Sight of Allah
Subhanah.
Q-2:
...and then we became really close physically with in dis 1 and half yr
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 32:
Do not even go near
‘zina’ (fornication or adultery) for it is a very indecent thing and a very
evil way!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 7 Surah
Aaraaf verse 33:
33 Say: The things that my Lord hath indeed forbidden are: ‘fahisha’
(shameful or indecent deeds) whether open or secret; sins and
trespasses against truth or reason; assigning of partners to Allah for which he
hath given no authority; and saying things about Allah of which ye have no
knowledge.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah
Anaam verse 151:
151 Say: "Come I will rehearse what Allah hath (really) prohibited
you from": join not anything as equal with Him; be good to your parents:
kill not your children on a plea of want;
We provide sustenance for you and for them; come not (even) nigh to ‘fahisha’
(shameful or indecent deeds) whether open or secret; take not life
which Allah hath made sacred except by way of justice and law: thus doth He
command you that ye may learn wisdom.
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 24 Surah Noor verse 2:
The woman and the man
guilty of ‘zina’ (fornication), flog
each one of them with a hundred stripes,
and let not pity for them restrain you in regard to a matter prescribed
by Allah; if indeed you believe in Allah
and the Last Day! And let a section of
the believers witness the punishment inflicted on them.
Zina
(fornication and adultery) and ‘fahisha’ (indecent and shameless deeds) are
considered amongst the gravest sins in Islam.
One can imagine the severity of the sin,
by the punishment Allah and His Messenger (saws) have decreed for the
sin. And if the person dies without
making Taubah or seeking sincere repentance for their transgression from Allah
Subhanah in the life of this world, the
punishment of the Hereafter in the Just Court of Allah Subhanah is much more
severe and lasting!!
Your
Statements: …..he promised me tht he will marry me and sumhow now i begged him
not to leave me and he said okay but still he treats me really bad what should
i do?
Respected Sister in Islam, with his false promises of
marriage and charm, ‘Mr. Slick’ got what he wanted from his unlawful
relationship with you; and because you chose to trust ‘Mr. Slick’ more than
your instincts, your parents, and even the guidance and warnings of Allah
Subhanah and His Messenger (saws)….you have none to blame except yourself for
the situation that you find yourself in!
If ‘Mr. Slcik’ having satisfied his unlawful desires to
the full with you chooses to now leave you, the honest trust is sister, there
is not much you can do except pick up the pieces of honor which are left, and
turn to your Lord Most Gracious seeking sincere forgiveness for your manifest
transgressions of His Prescribed Boundaries.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah
Zumur verses 53-54:
(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged
their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely,
Allah forgives all sins. He
indeed is the All Forgiving, All
Merciful. Return to your Lord and
submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you;
for then you may get no help from anywhere.”
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale
Imraan verse 135-136:
Allah likes such good people very much,
who, if ever they commit a base deed or
wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their
shortcomings. For who, but Allah,
can forgive sins? (And Allah
loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from
Allah, and with Gardens beneath which
canals flow, and they will reside
therein forever! How excellent is the
reward of those who do good deeds!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah
Furqaan verses 63-71:
The (true) servants of the Merciful are those
who walk humbly on the earth. When the
ignorant people behave insolently towards them,
they say, “Peace to you”; (And
those) who pass their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before
their Lord and pray, “O our Lord, save
us from the torment of Hell, for its
torment is killing! It is an evil
abode, and an evil resting place”. (And those) who, when they spend are neither extravagant, nor miserly,
but keep the golden mean between the two extremes. (And those) who do not invoke any god but
Allah Alone, nor kill a soul
unjustly, which Allah has
forbidden, nor commit adultery… He who
does this shall be punished for his sin,
and his torment shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection, and he shall abide in a state of
ignominy; EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE
REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS), AND HAVE
BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS DEEDS. For
then, Allah will change his evil deeds
into good deeds, and He is very
Forgiving and Merciful. In fact, one who repents and does righteous
deeds, returns to Allah as one rightly
should!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah
Anaam verse 54:
When those come to you who believe in Our
Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule
of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil
in ignorance, and thereafter repented
and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is
Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2357 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "He who
repents of a sin is like him who has committed no sin."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2338 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Allah
accepts a servant's repentance (taubah) till he gives up his spirit in
death."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2339 Narrated by Abu Sa'id
Allah's Messenger (saws) said that the
Shaytaan said, "By Thy Might, my Lord, I shall continue to lead Thy
servants astray as long as their spirits are in their bodies!" The Lord, Who is Great and Glorious, replied,
"By My Might, Glory and Exalted Station, I shall continue to pardon them as
long as they ask My forgiveness!"
Respected Sister, if you are indeed sincere in seeking
repentance from your Lord and amend your conduct, it is expected that you will
find your Lord Forgiving and Merciful.
Respected Sister in Islam, leave alone him threatening to
leave you….it is you who should fear Allah and distance yourself immediately
from such and impious and evil person who neither feared Allah, nor guided you
to fear Allah, and indulged in the abominations of ‘fahisha’ and ‘zina’ with
you! What makes you think that a person
who treated you thus would make a good husband, or fulfill his obligations
towards you in the sacred bond of marriage?
In our humble opinion sister, you should immediately
distance yourself from such an evil and impious person, seek sincere
forgiveness from your Lord for your transgressions, and seek to marry a pious
and God-fearing believer who would not only honor and cherish you as is
deserving of every believing wife….but guide you towards the Path that leads to
the Forgiveness, Grace, Mercy, and the Eternal Rewards of the Hereafter.
If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and
commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),
one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any
other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be
assured of being led astray.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me
alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is
the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan