Mr. Slick lover refuses to marry.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Asalam walikum, I just wanted to know if i`m doing right or wrong. almost 1 and a half yr ago I felt in love with this guy and i still do love him and because of him i had alot of problems with my parents but i choose him over my parents...and then we became really close physically with in dis 1 and half yr and now for the past 3 months we are having alot of fight between us and now when he is moving to china for studies he wants to leave me...I dont know what to do now..I know what i did was really bad, Allah will never forgive me but i can`t just let him do this to me, I think him as my husband, he promised me tht he will marry me and sumhow now i begged him not to leave me and he said okay but still he treats me really bad what should i do? I feel like killing my self..my life is finished, I`m taking pills to sleep so that i don`t think about him. please suggest me somthing.
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Mr. Slick lover refuses to marry
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Your Question: I just wanted to know if i`m doing right or wrong.
Q-1: .almost 1 and a half yr ago I felt in love with this guy and i still do love him
Respected sister in Islam, love-hate, like-dislike, joy-sorrow, smile-weep, etc. are natural emotions of mankind! What determines virtue and sin is what one says or does when one experiences these natural emotions!
To love someone is a natural emotion, and there is absolutely no sin if one loves another person; it is what one does and says after one has fallen in love with that person which would determine whether it would be counted as a virtue and a good deed in the Sight of Allah or a sin!
If one falls in love, and informs ones guardians that they love so and so, and requests them to sanctify their love in the sacred bond of marriage so that they may love each other for the rest of their lives would be counted as a virtue and a good deed in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.
But if one falls in love, and strives to meet or talk to the person in secret and in private, and in their love transgress the boundaries of Allah Subhanah before they are united in the sacred bond of marriage; then indeed it would constitute a huge sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.
Q-2: ...and then we became really close physically with in dis 1 and half yr
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 32:
Do not even go near zina (fornication or adultery) for it is a very indecent thing and a very evil way!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 7 Surah Aaraaf verse 33:
33 Say: The things that my Lord hath indeed forbidden are: fahisha (shameful or indecent deeds) whether open or secret; sins and trespasses against truth or reason; assigning of partners to Allah for which he hath given no authority; and saying things about Allah of which ye have no knowledge.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 151:
151 Say: "Come I will rehearse what Allah hath (really) prohibited you from": join not anything as equal with Him; be good to your parents: kill not your children on a plea of want; We provide sustenance for you and for them; come not (even) nigh to fahisha (shameful or indecent deeds) whether open or secret; take not life which Allah hath made sacred except by way of justice and law: thus doth He command you that ye may learn wisdom.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 24 Surah Noor verse 2:
The woman and the man guilty of zina (fornication), flog each one of them with a hundred stripes, and let not pity for them restrain you in regard to a matter prescribed by Allah; if indeed you believe in Allah and the Last Day! And let a section of the believers witness the punishment inflicted on them.
Zina (fornication and adultery) and fahisha (indecent and shameless deeds) are considered amongst the gravest sins in Islam. One can imagine the severity of the sin, by the punishment Allah and His Messenger (saws) have decreed for the sin. And if the person dies without making Taubah or seeking sincere repentance for their transgression from Allah Subhanah in the life of this world, the punishment of the Hereafter in the Just Court of Allah Subhanah is much more severe and lasting!!
Your Statements: ..he promised me tht he will marry me and sumhow now i begged him not to leave me and he said okay but still he treats me really bad what should i do?
Respected Sister in Islam, with his false promises of marriage and charm, Mr. Slick got what he wanted from his unlawful relationship with you; and because you chose to trust Mr. Slick more than your instincts, your parents, and even the guidance and warnings of Allah Subhanah and His Messenger (saws).you have none to blame except yourself for the situation that you find yourself in!
If Mr. Slcik having satisfied his unlawful desires to the full with you chooses to now leave you, the honest trust is sister, there is not much you can do except pick up the pieces of honor which are left, and turn to your Lord Most Gracious seeking sincere forgiveness for your manifest transgressions of His Prescribed Boundaries.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:
(O Prophet) say: O My servants who have wronged their own souls.Do not despair of Allahs Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:
Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verses 63-71:
The (true) servants of the Merciful are those who walk humbly on the earth. When the ignorant people behave insolently towards them, they say, Peace to you; (And those) who pass their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before their Lord and pray, O our Lord, save us from the torment of Hell, for its torment is killing! It is an evil abode, and an evil resting place. (And those) who, when they spend are neither extravagant, nor miserly, but keep the golden mean between the two extremes. (And those) who do not invoke any god but Allah Alone, nor kill a soul unjustly, which Allah has forbidden, nor commit adultery He who does this shall be punished for his sin, and his torment shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection, and he shall abide in a state of ignominy; EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS), AND HAVE BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS DEEDS. For then, Allah will change his evil deeds into good deeds, and He is very Forgiving and Merciful. In fact, one who repents and does righteous deeds, returns to Allah as one rightly should!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:
When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2357 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "He who repents of a sin is like him who has committed no sin."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2338 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Allah accepts a servant's repentance (taubah) till he gives up his spirit in death."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2339 Narrated by Abu Sa'id
Allah's Messenger (saws) said that the Shaytaan said, "By Thy Might, my Lord, I shall continue to lead Thy servants astray as long as their spirits are in their bodies!" The Lord, Who is Great and Glorious, replied, "By My Might, Glory and Exalted Station, I shall continue to pardon them as long as they ask My forgiveness!"
Respected Sister, if you are indeed sincere in seeking repentance from your Lord and amend your conduct, it is expected that you will find your Lord Forgiving and Merciful.
Respected Sister in Islam, leave alone him threatening to leave you.it is you who should fear Allah and distance yourself immediately from such and impious and evil person who neither feared Allah, nor guided you to fear Allah, and indulged in the abominations of fahisha and zina with you! What makes you think that a person who treated you thus would make a good husband, or fulfill his obligations towards you in the sacred bond of marriage?
In our humble opinion sister, you should immediately distance yourself from such an evil and impious person, seek sincere forgiveness from your Lord for your transgressions, and seek to marry a pious and God-fearing believer who would not only honor and cherish you as is deserving of every believing wife.but guide you towards the Path that leads to the Forgiveness, Grace, Mercy, and the Eternal Rewards of the Hereafter.
If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,