Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

aslam alikum...i like a guy and wants to marry him but my father dont want becoz his education is not enough as demanded by my father and they are not rich but he is donig a good job and getting salary of Rs7000....my father wants me to marry with his brothers son nad i dont like him at all......i love both of them equaly my parents and that guy .....plz advice mei what should i do ...my father is forcing me and i hav said yes to him but i m not agreed by my heart .......can u plz tell mei any vazifa or any surrah to make my parents agree...plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
ALLAH HAFIZ 

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Answer:

Parents refusal to marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Dear and beloved sister in Islam, if you can convince your parents to approve and give their consent, then indeed marry the man whom you love; but if you are unable to obtain the consent of your parents to marry that particular man, marry another man whom both you and your parents approve of……but whatever the case, do not disobey your parents, for marriage is but a voluntary act in Islam, but to obey the lawful commands of one’s parents is an absolutely obligatory duty of every believer who sincerely believes in Allah and the Last Day.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:

Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone! Treat your parents with great kindness; if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them; nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, “O our Lord, be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941 Narrated byAbu Umamah

A man said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws) what rights can parents demand from their children?" He (saws) replied, "They are (or your relation with them will determine) your Paradise and your Hell!"

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.821 Narrated by Anas

The Prophet (saws) was asked about the ‘Grave Sins’, and He (saws) replied, "They are:--

(1 ) To join others in worship with Allah,

(2) To be undutiful to one's parents,

(3) To kill a person (which Allah has forbidden to kill)

(4) And to give a false witness."

Second only to absolute gravest sin and abomination of ‘shirk’ (associating others with Allah Subhanah) in gravity of sins in the Sight of Allah Subhanah is the disobedience to the lawful commands of one’s parents!

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4928 Narrated by Abud Darda

When a man came to him and said, "I have a wife whom my mother commands me to divorce," he replied to him that he had heard Allah's Messenger (saws) say, "A parent is the best of the gates of Paradise; so if you wish, keep to the gate, or lose it."

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 216:

216 ……But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth and ye know not.

Dear and beloved Sister, if you do not approve of your parents choice, and the parents do not approve of your choice, then marry someone else whom both you and your parents approve of….but under absolutely no situation would it be considered righteousness for a believing woman to arrange her own marriage without the approval of her parents.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3137 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "A woman may not give a woman in marriage, nor may she give herself in marriage, for the immoral woman is the one who gives herself in marriage."

Besides sister, know with absolute conviction that you will find none in creation who is a more or better well-wisher unto you than your parents, who have sacrificed and spent a life-time in weaning and nurturing you….from the stage when you were absolutely helpless in your mother’s womb until this very day! It would indeed be the height of ungratefulness for a child to forget all the favors and sacrifices and love and affection their parents have showered upon them for all those years. One cannot expect Allah Subhanah to shower his blessings and mercy on one who breaks or estranges relationship with one’s own parents to build another!

Your Question:.......can u plz tell mei any vazifa or any surrah to make my parents agree...plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
My dear and beloved sister, the mere recitation of a ‘Surah’ or a ‘Wazifah’ by itself does not have the power to change another’s mind or decision to their liking! Beloved sister, rest absolutely assured that your Lord Creator is well Aware of your exact condition, and the best thing you can and should do in this trial of yours is practice the Sunnah prayer and supplication of ‘Istakhara’, and leave your case in the Able Hands of Allah Subhanah….

(The way to perform the Sunnah prayer and supplication of ‘Istakhara’ is sent as an attachment for your reference.)

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan