Whether i should mary my fiance who unfortunately is my Cousin (father`s second brother`s 2nd son) paternal cousin.I am engaged to him for the last one year.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
i am writing to you as im in a very confused situation and this matter is very important to me as it matters to my marriage.
i dont know how much i can write here but i really want you dear brothers to help me in this matter by advicing me in taking the right decisions.My problem is that i am confused now whether i should mary my fiance who unfortunately is my Cousin (father`s second brother`s 2nd son) paternal cousin.I am engaged to him for the last one year and in this time many changes have taken place in m my life.I have learnt many qualities about my cousin which i dont like.Means he doesnt seem to have the qualities i want my Life partner to have.He is not caring,loving,he is very practical he doesnt give much importance to me.I hope you are understanding .Intotal i dont see any qualities i want in my husband.My mother is also not very happy about me marrying him as she cant see a good son -in law in him either.Please help me as to what should I do .Should i break the engagement or should i marry him .Is there any rule is Islam that we have to marry the person we get engaged to?I m really confused. I dont knw what decision to take . So please help me by advicing me .Please reply to me soon
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Engagement and marry
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Dear and beloved Sister, an engagement by itself does not hold any legal weight in Shariah, thus if one finds that conditions or situations have changed, or one learns some qualities which one dislikes after accepting the proposal, or one has an absolutely genuine reason, etc..both the groom-to-be and the bride-to-be are well within their rights to break the engagement, if indeed they wish to do so.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3090 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on earth and extensive corruption.'
Beloved Sister, if you or your guardians are not completely satisfied with the practice of the religion or the character of the prospective spouse-to-be, you are well within your rights to refuse the engagement, if indeed that is what you wish to do.and there would be no sin upon you.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,