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Wifes duty responsibility to cook wash chores.

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

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i always forward your emails to others when they disagree or want further clarification i always ask for your opinion but u never give me a reply.I wud like to know how i shall satisfy them otherwise all this exercise is futile as in this case:

Subject : RE: FW: (Islamhelpline) Duties of Husband & Wife in Marriage

Can you ask Burhan, what specifically are the duties of a women,can he name them please ask him not to be vague in the answer.I am asking what a women should do in the house.If she has to be obedient to man,then if man ask her to cook please, should she cook or not if she does not cook would it not be disobedience,or would it be according to sharia.
I am not sure if Mr Burhan wants to say.I f he says women responsibility is to obey the man and if she says she would not is not disobedience.Or i think he is saying man should not even ask wife to cook. I just can not believe that Lord has said that ever thing man has to do and women nothing at all.What comes under the husband obedience.
The other thing is if a women wants to work and husband says no is she allowed to work then.
Badar

CaN you ask Mr Burhan.Did prophet cook routinely.Who can be better than prophet.I do not think he would cook food routinely.Can Mr Burhan quote a refernce where it is specifically mentioned cooking and washing is mens` responsibilty.Please ask him not to give his opinion but quote a refernce.i am not asking for his analysis but a refernce from quran and hadith.
Thanks

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Answer:

 

Wifes duty responsibility to cook wash chores

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Your Question: Can you ask Burhan, what specifically are the duties of a women,can he name them please ask him not to be vague in the answer.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34:

34   Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard (their chastity, their husbands honor, property, etc.)

 

The complete financial responsibility of the upkeep and maintenance of the house and the family is the responsibility and duty of the men in Islam. It is the responsibility and duty of the men in Islam to protect and maintain the women.

It is the responsibility of the men in Islam to make sure that food is provided to the womenfolk and family in their care, that clothing is provided for them, that a place is provided for them to reside in, etc.;

 

Although the complete financial responsibility in running the household is the prime duty and responsibility of the husband in Islam, it is also his responsibility and he will be held accountable by the Lord to take measures to maintain and protect his family to the absolute best of his ability.

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.116 Narrated by Abdullah bin Umar

The Prophet (saws) said, "Everyone of you is a guardian and everyone of you is responsible (for those under your ward). A ruler is a guardian and is responsible (for his subjects); a man is a guardian of his family and responsible (for them); a wife is a guardian of her husband's house and she is responsible (for it), a slave is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible (for that). Beware! All of you are guardians and are responsible (for those your wards)."

 

Thus in essence, the two main duties and responsibilities of the husband for which he will be held accountable in the Presence of the Lord is to provide for the financial upkeep and needs of the family, and be a responsible leader, guardian, and caretaker of the family. For example if the wife (or their children) openly disobey the Command of Allah Subhanah like not praying, or not fasting, or not wearing the hijaab, or wearing indecent clothes, or practicing fahisha, etc.; and the husband allows this disobedience taking place under his leadership without so much as striving to stop it, he will be held accountable for his lapse of duty for those under in care.

 

My dear and beloved brother, the above are the direct answers according to Islamic Law regarding the prescribed duties and responsibilities of a husband in marriage; but the sacred institution of marriage in Islam is not a union between two people who compete against each other, but rather a marriage in Islam is a sacred union between two people who complement each other in their partnership, who develop and maintain the love and mercy between them that Allah Subhanah has created for them in their marriage, and strive together as a team to live a life of peace, harmony and tranquility under the fear and guidance of Allah.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah Rome verse 21:

21 And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.

 

If one truly seeks guidance in ones marriage, there is no better recipe for peace, harmony and tranquility in ones relationship with ones spouse in marriage than the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws).

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 278 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behaviour; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives.

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3252 Narrated by Aisha ; Abdullah ibn Abbas

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family."

 

Sahih Muslim Hadith 3465 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As

Allah's Messenger (saws) said: The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.


 

Sahih Muslim Hadith 3469 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said: a believing man should not hate a believing woman (his wife); if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3358 Narrated by AbuBakr as-Siddiq

The Prophet (saws) said, "One who treats badly those under his authority will not enter Paradise."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

When Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 285 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: Had it been permissible that a person may prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered that a wife should prostrate herself before her husband.

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 284 Narrated by AbuAli Talq ibn Ali

The Prophet (saws) said: When a man sends for his wife for the satisfaction of his need, she should go to him even if she may be occupied in baking bread.

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 286 Narrated by Umm Salamah

The Prophet (saws) said: If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Paradise.

 

Your Question: If she has to be obedient to man,then if man ask her to cook please, should she cook or not if she does not cook would it not be disobedience,or would it be according to sharia.
It is the duty and responsibility in Shariah of the male guardian of the family (father, husband, etc.) to provide for the complete upkeep of the womenfolk under their care (mother, wife, daughter, etc.).including the providing of accommodation, clothing, medicine, food, and everything else that they may require.and that is precisely what is meant by declaring the men qawwam in the Verse of the Quran.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34:

35   Men are the qawwam (protectors and maintainers) of women because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard (their chastity, their husbands honor, property, etc.)

 

It is the responsibility and the duty in Shariah of the men to provide the food for the womenfolk under their care, and they may very well request the women under to care to cook or prepare the food; the women is well within her rights to accept to fulfill the request of her guardian and prepare the food if she wills to do so, or if she wills, she is well within her rights in Shariah to refuse to fulfill the request.

 

If the woman fulfills the request, she would be acting over and above her role and duty and the men should appreciate and be grateful for her gesture of ehsaan; and if for any reason the woman exercises her right to refuse to cook and prepare the food, it would remain the duty of her guardian men to provide or arrange to provide for her food and upkeep.

 

It is an almost accepted norm in most societies that it is the duty and responsibility of the guardian men of the household to earn and provide for the financial upkeep of their families. If a male guardian (husband for instance), whose prescribed duty it is in Shariah to provide for his family, sits at home and expects and commands his wife to go and work and earn and provide for the family and the wife exercises her option to refuse, it would not constitute disobedience. Similarly, if the wife exercises her option to refuse to cook or prepare the food, which is the duty of the male guardian in Shariah, it would not legally constitute disobedience in the Sight of the Lord.

 

Your Statement: If he says women responsibility is to obey the man and if she says she would not is not disobedience.

Beloved brother, disobedience is only when one refuses to obey a lawful command of their guardians; not when one exercises their right and chooses to politely refuse a request.

 

Your Question: I just can not believe that Lord has said that ever thing man has to do and women nothing at all.What comes under the husband obedience.
It is indeed unfortunate that the modern-educated-but-ignorant and ungodly society that we live in today does not give due reverence and importance to the role of the women, and especially her role as a mother, that she so rightfully deserves and as guided by Allah Subhanah Himself..

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chatper 4 Surah Nisaa verse 1:

1 O mankind! Reverence your Guardian-Lord Who created you from a single person created of like nature his mate and from them twain scattered (like seeds) countless men and women; reverence Allah through Whom ye demand your mutual (rights) and (reverence) the wombs (that bore you): for Allah ever watches over you.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah Luqman verse 14:

14 And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the Command) "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.

 

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.2 Narrated by Abu Huraira

A man came to Allah's Messenger (saws) and said, "O Allah's Messenger (saws)! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?" The Prophet (saws) said, "Your mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet (saws) said, "Your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The Prophet (saws) said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet (saws) said, "Your father."

 

Your Question (Again): I just can not believe that Lord has said that ever thing man has to do and women nothing at all.What comes under the husband obedience.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

When Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves."

In return for everything the man does for her, the wife is duty bound in Islam to obey her husband in every single lawful command of his; such is the reward of this obedience to lawful commands of her husband, that if a believing woman worships Allah Subhanah as He deserves to be worshipped and obeys her husband, she may enter any of the gates of Paradise she wishes!

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3254 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When a woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of Paradise she wishes."

 

Your Question: The other thing is if a women wants to work and husband says no is she allowed to work then.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

When Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves."

 

A woman in Islam is well within her rights to seek work and earn in Shariah if she wishes to do so, provided she has the prior permission and consent of her male guardian (father if unmarried and husband if married)because it is the prescribed duty of the male guardians to provide for her, they hold the right to refuse to give her permission and she would be duty bound in Shariah to obey this lawful command of theirs, if indeed she fears Allah and the Last Day.

 

If the wife ignores or disregards the command of her husband and seeks to go to work, she would indeed be in transgression of her duty of obedience towards her husband.

 

Your Question: CaN you ask Mr Burhan.Did prophet cook routinely.Who can be better than prophet.I do not think he would cook food routinely.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.327 Narrated by Aisha

The family of Muhammad (saws) had not eaten wheat bread to their satisfaction for three consecutive days since his (saws) arrival at Medina until he (saws) died!

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 5822 Narrated by Aisha

Allah's Messenger (saws) used to patch his sandals, sew his garment and conduct himself at home as anyone of you does in his house. He was a human being, searching his garment for lice, milking his sheep, and doing chores.

 

All the wives of the Messenger of Allah (saws) time and time again bore witness that the Messenger of Allah (saws) would regularly participate with them in doing the household chores. As much as the Prophet (saws) was the absolute best example for all of mankind, his noble and chaste wives were amongst the best and most righteous women who ever graced this planet earth..and it is inconceivable that they would never miss an opportunity to deal in the ehsaan (over and above their call of duty), especially when it was something they could do for their beloved husband in his very home. It is inconceivable that the noble and righteous wives of the Prophet (saws) would leave something in the household chores to be done by their noble husband (saws), but even then each of them have time and again vouched that the Messenger of Allah (saws) would participate with them in doing the household chores.

 

Besides the Messenger of Allah (saws) employed the services of his beloved and trusted slave, Hadrat Anas ibn Maalik (r.a.) who was a young boy and would do most of the chores in the Prophets (saws) household.

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.64 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik

I served the Prophet (saws) for ten years, and he (saws) never said to me, "Uff!" (a minor harsh word denoting impatience) and never blamed me by saying, "Why did you do so or why didn't you do so?"

 

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4756 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik

I served the Prophet (saws) at Medina for ten years. I was a boy. Every work that I did was not according to the desire of my master, but he never said to me: Fie, nor did he ever say to me: Why did you do this? or Why did you not do this?

 

Your Question: Can Mr Burhan quote a refernce where it is specifically mentioned cooking and washing is mens` responsibilty.Please ask him not to give his opinion but quote a refernce.i am not asking for his analysis but a refernce from quran and hadith.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34:

36   Men are the qawwam (protectors and maintainers) of women because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard (their chastity, their husbands honor, property, etc.)

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan

 

 


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