I am married since 14 yrs.i always have an argument as to what extent sex is permitted in islam.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
i am married since 14 yrs.i always have an argument as to what extent sex is permitted in islam.i would like to know if sucking of penis is allowed in islam.if husband insists on it what should the wife do.how should she explain whether it is allowed or not?
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In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 223:
223 Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth (for sexual intercourse) when or how ye will.
Abu Dhar al-Ghafari reported: The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: there is a reward for you [even] in sex with your wife." The companions asked: O Messenger of Allah (saws) is there a reward if one satisfies his passion?" He (saws) said: "Do you know that if he satisfies it unlawfully he has taken a sin upon himself? Likewise, if he satisfies it lawfully, he is rewarded."
Related by Ahmad and Muslim.
To derive pleasure by touching ones spouses private parts with the mouth is what is known as oral sex. Such an act is obviously unnatural, unhealthy, unhygienic, unclean, impure and this act is not found even in any of the lower animate creations!
Because oral sex is a new deviation of mankind, it finds specific mention neither in the Quran nor the Sunnah!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 7 Surah Aaraaf verse 157:
157 Those who follow the Messenger, the Ummi (unlettered) Prophet (Mohammed (saws)) whom they find mentioned in their own (Scriptures); in the Law and the Gospel; for he (Prophet Mohamed (saws)) commands them what is just and forbids them what is evil: he allows them as lawful what is tayyibaat (good and pure) and prohibits them from what is Khabaayith (bad, evil and impure); He releases them from their heavy burdens and from the yokes that are upon them. So it is those who believe in him, honor him, help him, and follow the Light which is sent down with him: it is they who will prosper."
But since the permissibility/impermissibility of this specific act of what is known today as oral sex is not mentioned by name or act anywhere in the Quran and the Sunnah, the God-fearing and the pious amongst the scholars in Islam have abstained from declaring it haraam; the most they have said is that the act is from the khabaaith (impure) and thus closer to the haraam than to the halaal, and the believers should fear Allah and abstain from it.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.267 Narrated by An Numan bin Bashir
The Prophet (saws) said "Both the halaal (lawful) and the haraam (unlawful) things are (made) obvious, and in between them are (suspicious) doubtful matters. So whoever forsakes those doubtful things lest he may commit a sin, will definitely avoid what is clearly unlawful; and whoever indulges in these (suspicious) doubtful things bravely, is likely to commit what is clearly illegal. Sins are Allah's Hima (i.e. private pasture) and whoever pastures (his sheep) near it, is likely to get in it at any moment."
Given the unbelievable liberty Islam has granted to the husband and the wife to enjoy conjugal relations in their sacred bond of marriage, in our humble opinion, it would be best for the believers who sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day to strive to abstain from this doubtful act of oral sex; and Allah Alone Knows Best.
Islam has allowed the husband and the wife in marriage every possible liberty to enjoy conjugal relations with each other, except three:
- It is strictly prohibited to have sexual intercourse with ones wife during her period of menstruation.
- It is strictly prohibited to enter the woman through her anus.
- Although there is no specific prohibition mentioned in the Quran and Sunnah, the majority of the scholars in Islam have voiced their opinion against oral sex, whereby one touches the others private organs with their mouth.
Other than the above three restrictions, one may enjoy conjugal relations with ones wife any place, any time, and any how their hearts desire.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,