Im a little shy person and i feel shy to ask question to people about secrets. but i feel u can help me inthis. iv been married for around 8 years im a father of a child. But recently i came to know that we have to say dua before intercourse.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
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Assalam O Alaikum
Im a little shy person and i feel shy to ask question to people about secrets. but i feel u can help me inthis. iv been married for around 8 years im a father of a child. But recently i came to know that we have to say dua before intercourse all i use to do was say bismillah. i want to know proper way of gusul also. i want to know that iv heard oral sex is also haraam is it true. if it is true what should we do as we have been doing since we were married. i hope u will help me in this matter.
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Dua before sex
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Beloved brother in Islam, never ever hesitate or apologize for asking any questions in the deen; for the deen or way of life called Al-Islam is based on the Perfect Wisdom and Knowledge of the All Knowing Lord, and every single command of the All Wise Lord is abundant in common-sense and logic. Asking any type of questions in Islam to gain more knowledge, or to confirm the Truth so that ones heart is more content, or to understand and thus follow with more conviction the dictates of the deen is not only permissible, but absolutely encouraged in Islam. It is the right of the brother or sister to ask anything they wish to clarify in the deen; and it is the responsibility and duty of the good scholars to address the question asked to the best of their knowledge and ability, and in the most polite and humble manner.
What is discouraged in Islam is if one asks questions for the sake of asking, or arguing to ridicule the Truth with absolutely no intention of obeying or following when the Truth is made clear to them, etc. But if one asks questions to clarify and seek knowledge so that one may better follow the deen; such seeking of the Knowledge of Truth is absolutely encouraged in Islam
Your Question: But recently i came to know that we have to say dua before intercourse all i use to do was say bismillah.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 4.493 Narrated by Ibn Abbas
The Prophet (saws) said, "If anyone of you, when having sexual relation with his wife, says: 'Bismillah. Allah humma jannib nas-Shaytaan wa jannib nas-Shaytaana feema razaktana (In the name of Allah. O Allah! Protect us from the Shaytaan and prevent the Shaytaan from approaching our offspring you are going to give us,) and if he begets a child (as a result of that relation) Shaytaan will not (be able to) harm it."
Your Question: i want to know proper way of gusul also
Fiqh-us-Sunnah Fiqh 1.58a
According to the practice of the Prophet (saws) the correct manner of performing ghusl after making intention to purify oneself and saying Bismillah is:
- wash both hands three times,
- wash the private parts,
- make a complete ablution (like the one made for prayer--the Prophet(saws) used to delay washing his feet until the end of his ghusl),
- rub water through one's hair three times, letting the water reach down to the roots of the hair,
5. pour water over the entire body, begining with the right side, then the left, washing under the armpits, inside the ears, inside the navel, inside the toes and whatever part of the body can be easily rubbed. This account is based on the following report from 'Aishah, the wife of the Prophet (saws): "When the Prophet (saws) took his bath after sexual intercourse, he would begin by washing his hands. Then he would pour water from his right hand to his left and wash his sexual organs, make the ablution for prayer, take some water and put his fingers to the roots of his hair to the extent that he sees that the skin is wet, then pour water over his head three times and then over the rest of his body." (Related by al-Bukhari and Muslim.) In one narration it states, "He (saws) used to rub his head with his hands until he was certain the water reached his skin, and then he poured water over it three times." It is also related that she said, "When the Prophet (saws) would perform ghusl after having had sexual intercourse, he would call for some water, which he would pour on his right hand to wash the right side of his head and then the left. He would then take water with both hands and pour it over his head." Said Maimunah, the wife of the Prophet (saws) "I put water out for the Messenger of Allah (saws) to perform ghusl. He washed his hands two or three times, and then he poured water from his right hand to his left and washed his private parts, wiped his hands on the earth, rinsed his mouth and nose, washed his face and hands, washed his head three times, poured water over his body, and finally moved from his place and washed his feet. I brought him a towel, but he did not take it, for he shook the water off with his hands." (Related by Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmidhi, Abu Dawood.)
Your Question: .that iv heard oral sex is also haraam is it true. if it is true what should we do as we have been doing since we were married.
To derive pleasure by touching ones spouses private parts with the mouth is what is known as oral sex.
Such an act is obviously unnatural, unhealthy, unhygienic, unclean, impure and this act is not found even in any of the lower animate creations!
Because oral sex is a new deviation of mankind, it finds specific mention neither in the Quran nor the Sunnah!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 7 Surah Aaraaf verse 157:
157 Those who follow the Messenger, the Ummi (unlettered) Prophet (Mohammed (saws)) whom they find mentioned in their own (Scriptures); in the Law and the Gospel; for he (Prophet Mohamed (saws)) commands them what is just and forbids them what is evil: he allows them as lawful what is tayyibaat (good and pure) and prohibits them from what is Khabaayith (bad, evil and impure); He releases them from their heavy burdens and from the yokes that are upon them. So it is those who believe in him, honor him, help him, and follow the Light which is sent down with him: it is they who will prosper."
But since the permissibility/impermissibility of this specific act of what is known today as oral sex is not mentioned by name or act anywhere in the Quran and the Sunnah, the God-fearing and the pious amongst the scholars in Islam have abstained from declaring it haraam; the most they have said is that the act is from the khabaaith (impure) and thus closer to the haraam than to the halaal, and the believers should fear Allah and abstain from it.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.267 Narrated by An Numan bin Bashir
The Prophet (saws) said "Both the halaal (lawful) and the haraam (unlawful) things are (made) obvious, and in between them are (suspicious) doubtful matters. So whoever forsakes those doubtful things lest he may commit a sin, will definitely avoid what is clearly unlawful; and whoever indulges in these (suspicious) doubtful things bravely, is likely to commit what is clearly illegal. Sins are Allah's Hima (i.e. private pasture) and whoever pastures (his sheep) near it, is likely to get in it at any moment."
Beloved brother in Islam, given the unbelievable liberty Islam has granted to the husband and the wife to enjoy conjugal relations in their sacred bond of marriage, in our humble opinion, it would be best for the believers who sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day to strive to abstain from this doubtful act of oral sex; and Allah Alone Knows Best.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,