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My question is i have had sexual intercourse only vaginal and recieved oral sex from 8 different girls.

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

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Assalamo alaikum

My question is i have had sexual intercourse only vaginal and recieved oral sex from 8 different girls. I am 23 i am going to get married soon i wanted to know how i could repent and ask allahs forgiveness also i watch a lot of pornography and masturbate nearly each day and i have not been told what you do after you have sex and how to have sex the islamc way. Because i read on some forum that the woman has to be covered so i wanted to know if my wife has to be covered and if i can see her completely nude or if i can kiss her breasts and finger her vagina when looking at it. Basically i know i have sinned but there is no one to realy guide me as i converted about 7 years ago but there is no mosque near me or anyone that i can ask. Also by a friend i was told that i have to shave my genital region and my anus but i dont know and it seems scary if its true and also how would i do it without preventing of cutting my testes or my penis. Also ive been told that i shouldnt speak to a muslim type called ahmaddis but i dont know the answer because i know there is someone where i work that is ahmaadii so i wanted to know the reason and if we are allowed.

 

jazakamullah

 

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Answer:

 

Repentance

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Your Question: .i wanted to know how i could repent and ask allahs forgiveness

Whatever deeds one might have done in ones past, if one turns to Allah Subhanah in sincere Taubah and seeks forgiveness, Allah Subhanah has promised in the Holy Quran that He will forgive all the sins of such a believer, even if one has committed the gravest sin of all: Shirk! Not only that, our Lord is so Merciful and Generous, that He not only will forgive the sins of the believer, He will change his evil deeds done into good deeds!

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:

(O Prophet) say: O My servants who have wronged their own souls.Do not despair of Allahs Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:

Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verses 63-71:

The (true) servants of the Merciful are those who walk humbly on the earth. When the ignorant people behave insolently towards them, they say, Peace to you; (And those) who pass their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before their Lord and pray, O our Lord, save us from the torment of Hell, for its torment is killing! It is an evil abode, and an evil resting place. (And those) who, when they spend are neither extravagant, nor miserly, but keep the golden mean between the two extremes. (And those) who do not invoke any god but Allah Alone, nor kill a soul unjustly, which Allah has forbidden, nor commit adultery He who does this shall be punished for his sin, and his torment shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection, and he shall abide in a state of ignominy; EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS), AND HAVE BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS DEEDS. For then, Allah will change his evil deeds into good deeds, and He is very Forgiving and Merciful. In fact, one who repents and does righteous deeds, returns to Allah as one rightly should!

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:

When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2357 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "He who repents of a sin is like him who has committed no sin."

 

The conditions or ways to seek sincere Taubah or Repentance from the Merciful Lord are:

  • One is aware that he has sinned, and feels sorry and ashamed at his sin.
  • Makes a solemn covenant and promise with Allah that he will not repeat his sin again.
  • Turns to Allah and seeks forgiveness, before he has met with his appointment of death.
  • Is a believer and does righteous good deeds thereafter.

 

Your Question: ..also i watch a lot of pornography and masturbate nearly each day

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 23 Surah Muminoon verses 1-11:

1 The Believers must (eventually) win through

2 Those who humble themselves in their prayers;

3 Who avoid vain talk;

4 Who are active in deeds of charity;

5 Who scrupulously guard their modesty (private parts),

6 Except with those joined to them in the marriage bond, or (the captives) whom their right hands possess; for (in their case) they are free from blame.




7 But those whose desires exceed those limits, are transgressors!

8 Those who faithfully observe their trust and their covenants;

9 And who (strictly) guard their prayers

10 Those will be the heirs

11 Who will inherit Paradise: they will dwell therein (forever).

 

The scholars of all schools of thought are unanimous in their opinion that the evil act of masturbation would, without an iota of a doubt, fall under the category of those whose desires exceed the limits; and thus this act is absolutely forbidden to all those who sincerely believe in Allah and the Last Day.

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.4 Narrated by Abdullah

We were with the Prophet (saws) while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse, etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power."

 

Thus if one is unable to control his sexual desire, he should get married, rather than get involved in committing sins like masturbation and zina (fornication or adultery). And if one is unable to marry, he should fast, as the Messenger of Allah (saws) says, that fasting reduces the persons sexual desire, and thus help the believer to stay away from committing sin.

 

Fahesha or indecency is one of the strongest weapons of the accursed enemy of man, the Shaitaan; who has sworn to mislead and misguide mankind from the Straight Path of Allah Subhanah.

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 268:

The Shaitaan threatens you with poverty and prompts you to adopt indecency (or acts of shamelessness). Allah promises you His Forgiveness and Bounties, and Allah cares for all, and He knows all things.

 

The only thing that can stop one from acts of indecency, or intentionally disobeying any command of Allah and His Messenger (saws); is the constant fear and consciousness that on One Inevitable Day, everyone will be brought forth in the Presence of the All-Mighty Lord to give a full accounting of ones deeds.

 

The first thing one needs to do, when he realizes that he has disobeyed any command of Allah and His Messenger (saws), is to immediately turn to the Merciful Lord and seek His Forgiveness and Pardon, and make a solemn covenant that he will not repeat the mistake again. When Shaitaan again tries to prompt the person to disobey the Merciful, the believers must immediately realize the play of Shaitaan, seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaitaan, remember the covenant he has made with His Lord, and abstain from doing any deed that will bring about the Wrath and Anger of Allah Subhanah.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 7 Surah Aaraaf verses 200-201:

200 If a suggestion from Shaitaan assail thy (mind), seek refuge with Allah; for He Heareth and Knoweth (all things).

201 Those who fear Allah, when a thought of evil from Shaitaan assaults them, bring Allah to remembrance; when lo! they see (aright)!

 

As soon as one feels the desire, or the avowed enemy of man, the Shaitaan suggests the person to transgress any of the boundaries of Allah Subhanah; the believers should immediately seek the refuge and protection of the All-Mighty Lord from the accursed Shaitaan by saying: Aoodobillahe minas Shaitaan ar rajeem. If the person is sincere in seeking refuge and protection, Allah Subhanah will protect him from the assaults of Shaitaan.

 

Some other things the believers may do at such a stage is do the wudu, offer prayers, or recite the 113th and 114th Surahs of the Quran (Surah Falaq and Surah Naas) and seek protection from the accursed Shaitaan.

 

The long-term remedy for keeping the Shaitaan at bay, is to constantly remember Allah Subhanah, seek and stay in the company of the righteous, recite the Quran, read good Islamic Books, listen to good Islamic cassettes and lectures, and strive to stay away from being in solitude.

 

If one is constantly in the face of non-mehram women, or if one regularly watches commercial television and movies, or regularly reads commercial magazines, etc. where ill-clad women are constantly portrayed; there is a greater chance the person will be swayed by the suggestions of Shaitaan towards fahisah and indecency. If one strives to abstain from these devices of Shaitaan, and makes efforts to remain close to the Remembrance and Guidance of Allah Subhanah, he will be successful in muting the ploys of the Shaitaan.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 7 Surah Aaraaf verse 27:

O ye children of Adam! Let not Shaitaan seduce you in the same manner as he got your parents (Adam and Hawwa) out of the Garden, stripping them of their raiment to expose their shame: for he and his tribe watch you from a position where ye cannot see them: We made the Shayateen friends (only) to those without faith.

 

Your Question: ..i have not been told what you do after you have sex and how to have sex the islamc way.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 223:

223 Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will.

 

Abu Dhar al-Ghafari reported: The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: there is a reward for you [even] in sex with your wife." The companions asked: O Messenger of Allah (saws) is there a reward if one satisfies his passion?" He (saws) said: "Do you know that if he satisfies it unlawfully he has taken a sin upon himself? Likewise, if he satisfies it lawfully, he is rewarded."

Related by Ahmad and Muslim.

 

Islam has allowed the husband and the wife in marriage every possible liberty to enjoy conjugal relations with each other, except three:

  1. It is strictly prohibited to have sexual intercourse with ones wife during her period of menstruation.
  2. It is strictly prohibited to enter the woman through her anus.
  3. Although there is no specific prohibition mentioned in the Quran and Sunnah, the majority of the scholars in Islam have voiced their opinion against oral sex, whereby one touches the others private organs with their mouth.

 

Other than the above three restrictions, one may enjoy conjugal relations with ones wife any place, any time, and any how their hearts desire.

 

Your Question: Because i read on some forum that the woman has to be covered so i wanted to know if my wife has to be covered and if i can see her completely nude or if i can kiss her breasts and finger her vagina when looking at it.

There is absolutely no satr or hijaab between a husband and a wife bonded in the sacred institution of marriage in Islam; and it is absolutely permissible for a husband and a wife to see, touch, fondle, play, and enjoy intimacy with each other any which way they please and desire, without any restrictions (except the three listed above) whatsoever.

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.272 Narrated by Hisham bin Urwa

(on the authority of his father) that Aisha said, "I and Allah's Messenger (saws) used to take a bath from a single water container, from which we took water simultaneously."

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.261 Narrated by Aisha

The Prophet (saws) and I used to take a bath from a single pot of water and our hands used to go in the pot after each other in turn.

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.298 Narrated by Aisha

The Prophet (saws) and I used to take a bath from a single pot while we were Junub. During the menses, he used to order me to put on an Izar (dress worn below the waist) and he (saws) used to fondle me.

 

We reiterate again that except for (1) anal sex, (2) actual sexual intercourse during the womens menstruation, and (3) oral sex.there is absolutely no restriction whatsoever between the husband and the wife enjoying intimacy with each other in Islam. Provided the above listed three restrictions are not violated, the married couple may enjoy their intimacy any which way their hearts desire.

 

Your Question: Also by a friend i was told that i have to shave my genital region

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.779 Narrated by Abu Huraira

I heard the Prophet (saws) saying. "Five practices are characteristics of the Fitra (nature): removing the pubic hair, clipping the nails, depilating the hair of the armpits; and circumcision and cutting the moustaches short (for the males)

 

Both the believing men and the believing women are obliged to remove their unwanted hair from their pubic region and from under their armpits at least once in a period of forty days. One may use any means or method to remove the unwanted hair as they will or is convenient for them, including clipping, cutting, shaving, waxing, hair removal cream, etc.

 

Your Question: Also ive been told that i shouldnt speak to a muslim type called ahmaddis but i dont know the answer because i know there is someone where i work that is ahmaadii so i wanted to know the reason and if we are allowed.

The absolute major differences in belief of the Ahmadis or Qaadiyaanis, and the belief which takes them out of the fold of Islam are:

  1. They believe in the advent of a Prophet after the death of the Last and Final Messenger of Allah, Mohamed ar-Rasool Allah (saws). They hold the belief that their leader and founder of their faith, Ghulam Ahmad Qaadiyani was appointed a Prophet, the concept of which is absolutely against the clear guidance of the Quran and the Sunnah.
  2. They believe that their prophet supposedly received revelations from Allah, after Allah Subhanah revealed His Last and Final Revelation of the Glorious Quran on His Last and final Messenger, Mohamed ar-Rasool Allah (saws)!

 

There are umpteen other beliefs and practices they do and propagate in the core tenets of their deen, but it is their above two blasphemous beliefs that take them out of the fold of the deen of Truth, Al-Islam.

 

They also hold the belief that Prophet Isa (a.s.) will not appear at the end of time; that the promised Imam Mahdi has already appeared; they have their own variation of Shariah Law which is quite different and distinct from the Shariah Law endorsed by the Quran and the Sunnah, etc.

 

Although the Muslim Ummah is unanimous that the blasphemous beliefs of the people who call themselves Ahmadis take them out of the fold of Islam; there is absolutely no restriction in Shariah in talking, meeting, or interacting with the disbelievers, if one wishes to do so.

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 60 Surah Mumtahina verses 8-9:

8 Allah forbids you not with regard to those (disbelievers) who fight you not for (your) Faith, nor drive you out of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with them: for Allah loveth those who are just.

9 Allah only forbids you with regard to those (disbelievers) who fight you for (your) Faith, and drive you out of your homes and support (others) in driving you out, from turning to them (for friendship and protection). It is such as turn to them (in these circumstances) that do wrong.

 

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan


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