My home environment is not islamic , just a common muslim family. I practise Quran & sahi hadees although my family is hanafi.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
I
strive my best 2 follow islam totally. My home environment is not islamic ,
just a common muslim family. I practise Quran & sahi hadees although my
family is hanafi. I want 2 marry a Very pious muslimah whom i have been in
contact thru e mail & some times talk on phone- but have never met. I have
seen in front of her father at her home.She too is practising sahi hadees
although her family is hanafi.She practise her best all islamic practise.My
parents want me 2 marry girl of their choice & not of my choice, In their
way of marriage according 2 social custom i.e with big function, dowry etc. II
m totally agaisnt all these. They dont agree for my marriage with her although
she is very pious. My parents want me 2 marry only on their choice. I have
given commitment 2 her parents , so they r fully dependent on me. What should i
do?
(There may be some grammatical and spelling
errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in
confidentiality.)
Answer:
Parents refusal to marriage
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask
for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever
He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that
there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that
Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.27 Narrated
by Abu Huraira
The Prophet (saws) said, "A woman is
married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and
her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a
loser."
Dear and beloved brother in Islam, if you can convince
your parents to approve and give their consent, then indeed marry the girl of
your choice; but if you are unable to obtain the consent of your parents to
marry that particular girl, marry another girl whom both you and your parents
approve of……but whatever the case, do not disobey your parents, for marriage is
but a voluntary act in Islam, but to obey the lawful commands of one’s parents
is an absolutely obligatory duty of every believer who sincerely believes in
Allah and the Last Day.
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:
Your
Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him
Alone! Treat your parents with great
kindness; if either or both of them
attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them; nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and
pray, “O our Lord, be merciful to them,
just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941 Narrated byAbu Umamah
A man said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws)
what rights can parents demand from their children?" He (saws) replied, "They are (or
your relation with them will determine) your
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.821 Narrated by Anas
The Prophet (saws) was asked about the ‘Grave
Sins’, and He (saws) replied, "They are:--
(1 ) To join others in worship with Allah,
(2) To be undutiful to one's parents,
(3) To kill a person (which Allah has
forbidden to kill)
(4) And to give a false witness."
Second only to the absolute gravest sin and abomination of
‘shirk’ (associating others with Allah Subhanah) in gravity of sins in the
Sight of Allah Subhanah is the disobedience to one’s parents!
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4928 Narrated by Abud Darda
When a man came to him and said, "I have
a wife whom my mother commands me to divorce," he replied to him that he
had heard Allah's Messenger (saws) say, "A parent is the best of the
gates of Paradise; so if you wish, keep to the gate, or lose it."
If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and
commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),
one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any
other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be
assured of being led astray.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to
Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only
Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
Wister