Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalam Alaykum

If my husband seems to be slaking in his prayers, and not waking up in time for fajr or putting off his evening prayers for a later time, is it permissible for me, being his wife, to tell him to come and pray when I pray? (which would be at the proper times) I won`t say it in a demanding or rude manner, but gently. Even in the morning when I wake up for fajr, is it bad if I awake him from his sleep and tell him to come and pray? Is it right for him to get mad at me for "bothering" him to come and pray? How would I handle this situation? Is it even right for a wife to be ordering her husband around in any way?

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Command husband to pray

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 1303 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘May Allah have mercy on a man who gets up at night and prays, and awakens his wife; if she refuses, he should sprinkle water on her face. May Allah have mercy on a woman who gets up at night and prays, and awakens her husband; if he refuses, she would sprinkle water on his face.’

The husband and the wife bonded together in the sacred institution of marriage are each other’s well-wishers not only in the life of this world, but also in the Hereafter. The Messenger of Allah (saws) invoked the Mercy of Allah Subhanah on those pious husbands who strive to encourage and wake up their wives to offer their prayers, and on those pious wives who strive to encourage and wake up their husbands to offer their prayers.

Your Question: If my husband seems to be slaking in his prayers, and not waking up in time for fajr or putting off his evening prayers for a later time, is it permissible for me, being his wife, to tell him to come and pray when I pray?

If a wife sincerely loves her husband, and wishes that her husband does not face the Wrath and Anger of Allah Subhanah for failing to fulfill his obligatory duties unto his Lord…..it would only be akin to piety and righteousness on the part of the wife, and an extension of her love and sincerity towards her husband that she, with patience, with humility, and above all with wisdom guides her husband to fear Allah Subhanah and the Day of Accounting, and reminds him to fulfill his obligatory duties unto his Lord Creator.

Your Question: Is it right for him to get mad at me for "bothering" him to come and pray?

If the wife, out of love, and sincerity, and only for the fear that her husband would inevitably be faced with the Wrath and Anger of Allah on the Day of Resurrection reminds her husband, with humility, patience and with wisdom to fulfill his duties unto his Lord Creator…..and the husband is ‘bothered’ by her only because of this….without an iota of a doubt, such a husband has neither recognized nor appreciated the sincere gesture and love of his wife for his well-being in this world and the Hereafter!

Sahih Muslim Hadith 3465 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As

Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.’

Your Question: How would I handle this situation?

Beloved Sister in Islam, if you indeed sincerely love your husband, and wish him well not only in this world but also in the Hereafter, you should never give up trying to instill the fear of Allah and the Last Day into your husband, and remind him, with wisdom, and humility, and above all with patience to at least fulfill his obligatory duties unto his Lord Creator. If you can bring yourself to do that, without reaching the point where your marital relations with your husband are spoiled or damaged, you should never give up your sincere striving for the well-being of your husband…..perchance, one day, because of your sincere striving, his heart melts towards repentance and he turns unto his Lord Creator in absolute submission.

And beloved sister, in addition to your sincere striving, you should also remain constant in your supplications towards your Lord Most Merciful to soften the heart of your husband, have mercy on him, forgive him his shortcomings, and to bless him with guidance and the ‘fear’ of Allah Subhanah.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan